Baby Won't Even Take a PACIFIER!!

Updated on April 23, 2007
S.P. asks from Menifee, CA
30 answers

Im wondering why and how to get my baby to get a pacifier to stay in his mouth? He's normally VERY VERY content and doesn't really need one, but there's times where I'd like it to stay in his mouth, cuz he's very verbal.. he's only three months old, but seems to have figured out that mommy's deaf, and if you want her attention to say AHHHHHHHH really loud.. it's embarrassing (especially in church during the prayer), or he'll start giggling uncontrollably.. which I admit is irresistable, but it seems odd that my baby has NO interest in a pacifier whatsoever.. is this normal???
S.

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So What Happened?

Okay, so someone responded about asking if I sign with my children, and yes I do that with all of them, I'm a verbal "deaf" person, so I DO talk (sound like I"m a bit russian, HA?) so but I don't use signs with them until they're at least six to seven months old, I taught baby signs actually and they just don't know what to do with their own hands until that time anyway, so, actually, just until they learn that ba ba means bottle... then when they comprehend that, we go ba ba for ball, then we introduce thesigns for bottle (milk), and the signs for ba ba (ball) so then the baby communicates even better and is less fussy because his needs are being understood and he can communicate without having to have such a mommy who goes, which baba???? I gave up the pacifier thingie, it was just a question to ask about, and I'm not gonna try it.. he's much too verbal, and I figured out why he was even being so loud.. he's teething already!! Both my oldest never got their teeth until they were 11 months (yes I know... amazingly late, like mommy!!!), and now he's 12 weeks I'm wondering wow... but I know they can teethe forever.. but he's happy, calm and content, but just loud as all heck. But I think it'sfunny. We have a game now... I laugh and he thinks it's hilarious and does a little hee hee back, so I do it, and then he shrugs and goes "hee hee", and we do it for an hour, and it sets me into fits of gigggles... oh my gosh.... I hope eeveryone enjoys their babies the way I do... they're precious and little for OH SO LITTLE! ANyhow... any questions about babysigns, ask me, I'm the expert! and thanks SO much to all of you about the paci's... I had my oldest on one, and poked a hole in it so it deflated and thats' how she got rid of it on her own... I decided siince this one just isn't interested.... just let him find other outlets... and I still think he's gonna be a champion loogie spitter one day... that kid can SPIT far!
S.

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M.C.

answers from Fresno on

Don't force him to take it. I know its a tempting way to quite a child but I read somewhere it can hinder their ability to desire to communicate vocally when they are attempting to communicate and its put in their mouths. Distract him with a toy or give him a little jiggle when he get to loud in a quite place. I taught my son whispering and its now a game we play at libraries and such. He didint take to the pacifier until he was about 4 months. He was breastfeeding only and was using me as a pacifier. Exhausted and in pain, I started to put it in his mouth when I knew he wasn't hungry. Now at 22 months I wish I hadn't given him one to begin with. Its a hassel to keep them clean and having to look for it at night when he wakes up. This is my personal opinion. Its may be different for you kid but their are other creative ways to keep them quitely entertained.

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W.H.

answers from Stockton on

Hi! S.:
My sone is one and never took to a pacifier either. I am so glad now because that is just one less thing to have to break them of. Plus, I can't stand to see toddlers and older walking around with a pacifier hanging out of their mouth!
Be thankful he is not interested in it.

J.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

My advice would be is to try different types of Pacifiers. I have a 6 month old daughter who was the same way. I had to find one that she liked.

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D.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi,
Consider yourself lucky! It can be a difficult habit to break. I have 4 kids, and none of them ever needed or wanted a pacifer. Maybe you can alter his schedule so that he is sleeping during church. You should not feel imbarrased in church. I would hope that the general public understands.

I am a daycare provider and one thing that I have learned is that kids do not need pacifiers, the parents do. They are taken away during daycare (mostly due to health reasons).

Consider yourself blessed with a child that wants to communicate.

D.

1 mom found this helpful
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V.H.

answers from Las Vegas on

my 3 yo never took one and my baby only took one for the first 2 months and then no more. Sorry but even kids who suck on pacis all day long just bite on the paci and scream anyway. God loves the laughter of children so try not to be imbarrassed he's just expressing his love for God too. :) If all else fails you can drop him in the nursery or I like I would do and nurse him.

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J.E.

answers from Los Angeles on

My daughter never wanted anything to do with a pacifier. There is no rhyme or reason for it but it is totally normal. Children just like what they like.

I would suggest trying different teething rings or interesting objects for him to play with to keep him occupied during periods where he needs to be quite. When he is 4 months you can try those hard biscuit cookies too.

Just remember, every time he embarrasses you in public, that is just another story to laugh about when he is 20 and your sitting around the dinner table reflecting! :o)

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P.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think it's normal. My son stopped taking his pacifier when he turned 2 months old. He didn't like it for some reason. Don't worry...some babies just don't like it.

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L.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

My daughter does not take a pacifier either and she is fine. My mother says I did not take one either. I don't think you know how lucky you are, because now you don't have to break him from it later, which I can promise you will be alot worse. It almost sounds as if you are complaining about your baby finding his voice at such a young age, I say he is ahead of the game and I hope you don't make him take one ever. Find another way to deal with his vocals, maybe your church has a nursery? Stopping him from exploring anything will only prolong him from his natural abilities, if he is not fussy then he does not need it. Besides they usually out grow it in a couple of months. L.

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E.H.

answers from Stockton on

I totally understand the thing about the Paci. My son would not take one either and it would help with his gas. The only thing is that my Goddaughter learned to make noise with it in her mouth even. Sorry about the babbling in Church my son still does it but you would think that people would understand that it is happy noises and even in church sometimes that can be joyous. I know it can be embarrassing but the people in your church should not be rude to you by giving you odd looks and looks with dismay. He is small and eventually will learn that his noises make those noises and he will get a little bored with the loudness eventually. I don't know exactly how you are able to hear the sermons at church if there is someone signing for you or if they have something like the TTY machine placing the words on a screen but maybe there is a quiet room that you can still see the words or have someone sign to you the words. I sometimes have to go into our quiet room and they have it through speakers at our church I know that wont help you any but maybe someone would be able to help you out for a few months and sign until someone is able to take the baby during services (we dont have that at our church) or he is able to learn the quiet times. It sounds to me you have a happy healthy 12 week old who just wants to tell everyone about it. I hope things get a littler better too!!! Take care

E.

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C.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

Not all kids take a paci my neice didn't and my DS didn't after he stopped nursing at 6mo. I owuld just remove him from the situation in church and ignore it at home. You will know when he cries for a reason and when he screams for attention he will stop once he learns that it dosn't work.

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T.V.

answers from Stockton on

Sheree, HI. I have had 7 kids and a few did have a pacifier. But my son did not want one, he always spit it out. And he also would get loud at the wrong times in the wrong places. But everyone with children knows how a baby can be. We can leave him laugh and coo those are the sounds of a happy baby,You know you have blessed.You have a perfectly normal son No need to trip. Your problem is soon coming in the months and years to come.All questions always come at the wrong time and MMOM<MOM<MOM<MOM<MOMmmm. But as for the pacifier keep it around it works great for when they start teething,especially when its ice cold. Your SON is <PERFECTLY NORMAL>

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M.M.

answers from Fresno on

Don't worry. My mom used to hold the pacifier in my mouth with her finger during church and I would still make "mmm mmm mmmm!" noises because I apparently hated the thing. Don't worry about giving him a pacifier. If he gets too loud for your comfort, take him into the nursery (most churches have one) and nurse, give him a bottle, or whatever. What you also may try is altering your feeding/napping schedule with him so that most often, he is sleeping during church. Tristen is getting a little old for me to do that, but he's also 14 mos. My mom kept my sister and I asleep for as long as she could, then we had specific books and coloring books that were for church to keep us quiet...but I'm getting ahead of both of us!

Take care,
M. M.

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C.M.

answers from Salinas on

I really don't have any advice to offer on this, but I wanted to send you some good vibes!! There were times I wanted my son to take the paci and he wouldn't. It seems they never want it when you want some peace and quiet but then they want it when you don't want them to have it. It's a lose-lose situation.

The best suggestion I have is maybe to try and find some moms who are in your shoes and have gone through what you are struggling with. I am trying to teach my son sign language and watch the Signing Time show. Their website has message boards. Maybe there are some hearing-impaired moms on that site? Also, I think the forums on mothering.comm *might* have a board specific to certain situations like this.

I hope people aren't giving you glares in public knowing that you can't hear!! Do you already sign with your baby? By signing with your baby, it might let others know your situation so they would hopefully be a little more understanding. Although, I think the should be understanding regardless!

good luck to you and if anything, I'm sure it will pass. Your baby will learn to sign and you'll have a great relationship!!

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D.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi S.,
I really dont know how to get him to take one. But my son never took one either. He is 12 months now and I figure, Its just one more thing I dont have to transition him out of. But he is usually a very good and doesnt need one to go to sleep.
Good luck, I dont think anything is wrong or abnormal.

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O.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

I tried to give my baby a pacifier in the hospital during his first hour. He wasnt interested. Kept spitting it out and would fight me even if I tried to hold it in. I didnt give up and always had it available in the diaper bag. One time he was screaming in the car, and I managed to drive while holding the pacifier in his mouth. I think he was teething and just enjoyed biting the pacifier. Moral of the story...sometimes there is nothing you can do. My son is a thumbsucker...bigtime.
Good luck
O.

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B.S.

answers from San Diego on

Hey S.,
This is totally normal. Some babies do take them and some just don't want to. Trust me I sit in church, even though my daughter takes a pacifier, she still decides she wants to make lots of noise and I have to take her out to the nursery (and she is 9 months old). Some of my friends babies won't take a pacifier and they have tried and tried. Hopefully it will be a good thing down the road because you won't have to break him of it and hopefully he won't start sucking his fingers. But he'll be just fine - I wouldn't worry about trying to get him to do it. And don't worry about the noise because it won't go away and most people love it anyways :)

Good luck,
B.

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R.M.

answers from Stockton on

I would consider this a blessing! If your baby doesnt want the pacifier dont force it. Some babies just dont like them.

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K.H.

answers from San Diego on

Yes, it is normal. My daughter would take a pacifier during her first 3 months and then was done with it. Try to introduce something new that will act like a pacifier, i.e., anything that he can stick in his mouth and which he can play with. Remember that he is trying his vocal chords out and that is the only way he knows how to communicate.

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J.V.

answers from San Francisco on

My baby is 7 months old and she never could keep the pacifier in and I am also a anti mom against pacifiers. My thing is they give it to there baby just to keep them quiet then the baby never wants to give it up. Thank goodness she doesn't like them and she babbles all the time. She is happy and I don't understand why you wouldn't want to hear him talk it is soooo cute. My sister had both of my nephews on pacifiers to shut them up and didn't get them off of it until they were going to start school finally she came to her senses with the last one and doesn't give it to him

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L.B.

answers from Sacramento on

You are very lucky that your baby has the abilty to self-sooth. You should be glad that you won't have the task of trying to break your baby of his pacifier. Babies are definately not known for their good timing. It seemed like mine always chose the least desirable place to be vocal. But, rest assured that anyone who has ever had childeren will completely understand. Your baby is very normal.

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H.I.

answers from Seattle on

my 5 year old was the same way! it was hard at times, but just be happy that you will never have to break him of the pacifier habit! no matter what you try, if he doesnt want it, he wont take it.

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R.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Be glad that your baby does not want the pacifier and leave it at that! Let him "talk," he is obviously a very happy little baby! I was an avid "no pacifier" mom before I had my son, however, he was a very avid "I need to suck on something at ALL TIMES" baby. So in went the pacifier and let me tell you, I am going through hell trying to get the darn thing away from him (I have even posted about it). Once babies get attached to a pacifier it is very hard to break them of it and it just gets harder as they age. The fact that he won't take it will mean less hassle for you down the road - be glad! :)

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M.L.

answers from Las Vegas on

S.,
Your baby might not like the testure of the pacifier, so just figure what your baby would rather have. I had the experience that my daughter had to many and loved all of them. Lol with time it will come to your baby.If not then baby doesn't like it. But that fine too. Not all do and some stop drinking from a bottle at an early ages as well. Just do your best thats all mothers can do.

M. L

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C.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

You should enjoy the sweet sounds your baby is making now cause when he is a teenager those sounds wont be so sweet! lol.
And no one cares when a baby makes noises in Church. Most everyone with a heart thinks it is very cute. And normal.
And getting the pacifier OUT of his mouth after he uses it all the time is a very stressful experience for both the child and mother. I speak from experience!

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R.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

Its perfectly normal. I have 3 little ones and only my oldest would use a pacifier. What I can suggest would be to try different types and see if maybe that helps.

R. Williamson
Stayin Home and Lovin it!
You can to, visit my site for more info
www.asparrowsfreedom.com

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J.M.

answers from Sacramento on

I wouldn't do a thing to "control" his verbalness. That's what babies are suppose to do!!!

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V.W.

answers from San Francisco on

I have four children - not one would take a pacificer at 3 months anymore... My niece had hers until she was 2 - - - my children were all very verbal - not my niece... so I think it's normal - - - especially in church!!!!

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E.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

My daughter didn't take to the pacifier..... Thankfully.
I say this because my son used his until he was almost 6 yrs old. He has awful buck teeth now because of it and being that he has autism there is no way I'll ever get him to wear braces.
He used a orthodontic pacifier too. I say you are much better off that he doesn't take it.
My daughter had a little dolly with a rattle that kept her calm. She would hold the baby and stroke the tag and when she was smaller she used to suck on it. I am sure if you look around you can find something to help keep your son quiet.
Good Luck!

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V.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

My daughter NEVER took a pacifier either. (She would spit them across the room!!) Although there were times, when she was a baby, that I would have liked her to want/use a pacifier, it has turned out to be a GREAT blessing that she was never attached to it. She's now 2, and we have not had to deal with the drama of taking it away that so many of my friends have had...and she goes to sleep so easily on her own... I don't know if it's "normal" (probably not, since almost every baby/toddler I see these days has one!:) ), but it definitely makes things easier later on!

It sounds like you have a sweet little guy...enjoy his giggles and "baby noises"!! :)

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J.C.

answers from San Francisco on

My first wouldn't take a pacifier and we did without it. She was not quiet at times, but she's a baby and she's going to make noise. It can be frustrating to have a loud baby, but he's just testing out his voice...he's discovering. My second didn't get a chance to have a pacifier...my first did fine without (and slept better because she didn't need a pacifier in her mouth to calm her). My third cried so much and seemed so upset that I caved and gave him a pacifier and he was a changed baby. He NEEDED something to suck on. I am planning on not giving my 4th a pacifier (or maybe just occasionally when very upset). If your son is content without one, he most likely doesn't need one. It's only my opinion, but I feel that people tend to use pacifiers because it makes it easier for them...not the baby. I know that I find myself doing that at times. It's perfectly normal for him to not want one. Don't force it...although you see most babies with a pacifier, there are babies that just don't need the sucking to comfort themselves. It'll be nice later on when he's older and doesn't need to cry for you in the middle of the night because he can't find his pacifier (or doesn't want to find it himself and needs you to come in and put it in his mouth). YOU will get more sleep! :)

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