Hi J.,
There are MANY reasons baby's cry. And no, you CAN NOT spoil a newborn. Babies cry for a reason. There is always a reason!
As mentioned, colic tends to follow a pattern. Typically about the same time, etc... but I have heard of colicky babies crying all day. Typically a baby with colic will draw up his/her legs quite a bit.
You don't mention how old your baby is, that is a big thing. Newborns can be very overwhelmed with their new environment. They've gone from a very snuggly, warm, constantly held, constantly snuggled, fed on demand 24 hours a day 7 days a week womb... to this big bright, too cold, too hot, not held nearly as much world. It's frieghtening!!!
So, that being said... .babies will cry when they are hungry, when they are wet or soiled. But they will also cry if they are over stimulated, or under stimulated.
The BEST remedy for colic that I found was: www.coliccalm.com Trust me... I tried everything else. We were living in Germany and our Pediatrician there said the regular Over the Counter gas medications... like Mylicon or something aren't really good for babies. There is too much sugar in them and the babies like the sugar, but really, it isn't doing much for the gas.
The Colic Calm I found worked great! It is all natural, no sugar.
If it is not colic, then things you can try:
swaddling baby
Stove fan (the loud "white noise" is actually calming to many babies since the womb was actually a very noisy place)
"football hold" face down and GENTLY jiggling
Holding baby on your shoulder and bouncing
A great book that addresses these is: Happiest Baby on the Block.
I highly recommend it.
Sometimes...baby just needs to be held and know Mom or Dad is there.
Your husband might also try "wearing" baby. The Ergo Baby carrier is a great carrier. You can get it cheapest at:
www.myfavoritebabycarrier.com
This site has a 90 day money back guarantee. So, you try it for 3 months... and then if you hate it, send it back for a full refund. Doesn't get any better then that!
But, really fussy babies often just want to be held. My daughter HATED being left alone if she was awake. She wanted to interact. That was just her personality. We have friends with a daughter just 3 days younger then our daughter. She was fine to just lay in her crib and stare at the ceiling while our daughter needed to be held all day long. She was like this from the moment she was born. You have to learn your baby's personality and then work within that. If you try to "train" your newborn into what YOU would do...then it's going to be a fight. It's better to work within their personality and find what works for both of you. Training comes later when they are more aware of their actions and their surroundings.
Being a new parent is hard. Babies don't come with an instruction manual and every one is different! But that is good. You just have to trial and error until you find what works for your baby.
I hope my suggestions have helped!
Good luck!
Bottom line... shower baby with love and affection.
Oh...the no poo for a couple of days IS ok for an exclusive breastfed baby. If baby is getting some formula, I wouldn't let it go more then 2 days. Things you can do to stimulate poo....
gently rub their belly clockwise, DILUTED apple juice, increase the breastmilk feedings.