Asking for Gift Cards???

How tacky.

She is asking for donations AND specifically a gift card.

The pet supply donation is just a ruse to make the child appear generous but that flew out the door when mom asked for gift cards as well. Very selfish.

I see nothing wrong with a regular gift and no donation OR a donation and no gift.

I would be put off by the request. Not necessarily because it is a gift card request, but b/c it is a request for 2 gifts. One, the gift card; and two, the pet food the child plans to donate to the shelter.

In every case I have ever heard of where a child did this for a shelter, the pet supplies are in lieu of a gift. They ARE the gift. And the child "regifts" them to the shelter. Often, getting the glory of a photo op in the local newspaper for their generosity. And it is generous... make no mistake. But asking for BOTH pet supplies AND an additional gift, removes the child from being generous at all. They aren't giving up anything to help. It's a gift grab and a glory grab, in my book.

They should be grateful for anything you give. Give what you want. It was very tacky and rude to request/demand gift cards and tell you to bring pet food to donate.

I am not trying to sound snarky, but think about this.

This is a gift for the child. IF that is what the child wants, why not?
If the child asked for a Barbie's and Barbie accessories, , but your family did not believe in Barbies, would you give her something else?

Why do we feel like we know better than the Birthday girl?

Our daughter loved books, that is all she ever wanted, BUT she had so many books, people did not mind giving her gift cards to the different Book stores, so SHE could pick out what she wanted.

Some children are so fortunate to have so much, sometimes, it is nice to have a guide as to what would work best for that child.

Maybe she is saving up for something? Maybe she is very particular?

Is it so bad to give the gift card with a nice Birthday card that you child makes for this child?

Just consider, not everyone is just like us. I like to give children what they want and I know they will use. Some children love to shop.. So the excuse to shop with a gift card, is exciting for them.

Of course you are always allowed to do what you want.

What?? How rude and tacky!
If it were me, I would bring a gift card but not the pet food! So what she is going to bring 15 bags of pet food to the local shelter and make her child look like she is the saving grace? No thanks!
WTH is wrong with ppl these days!

I have been seeing lots of stories about kids requesting items to donate to a cause (animal shelters, books for Africa, baby items for women's shelters, money for wells in third world countries) rather then get gifts for themselves. If it is the child's decision and not forced by the parents I think it is a wonderful idea. They will be our future philanthropists.

I do think it is a little odd to ask for both pet donations and gift cards for herself. In all of the stories I have read, the kids did not want anything for themselves. Give her a gift card to a pet store.

It's tacky to ask for any kind of gift when inviting people to a party. Barbies, gift cards, legos etc. Of course most people are going to bring a gift but the hostess should never suggest one unless specifically asked. So given the mother is tacky and inappropriate, do whatever you want...

Tacky, tacky tacky. If she is doing a party where she is saying pet food donations in lieu of gifts that's great. But to say bring gift cards and pet food that's tacky on every level. I love the idea of donating to a pet shelter but not in addition to a gift. The mom was way off base.

I wouldn't be bothered at all by the gift card request (although it shouldn't have been mentioned unless someone asked what the birthday girl wanted), but I think it is extremely tacky to ask for two gifts which is what they are doing by requesting pet food, too. Usually people who ask for donations do that in lieu of gifts. This just seems greedy.

I think it is kind of tacky to make a request for gift card for party guests. I think i would just purchase a gift and also bring some pet food donations. However I did see one from a family member that I did support. Child is saving up to buy a "blank" If you don't have another idea of what to get him for his b-day, he would appreciate gift cards to "blank store". I

Wow I guess I am not the norm looking at some of these replies...I guess that is the cool thing about reaching so many moms. My kids are young so we always do donation drives in lieu of gifts and until today, I honestly never thought it was tacky. Now my son is going to be 6 and he is thinking how he can use his party to help our community like a pantry or the community zoo. I was really surprised that so many people don't like this idea....hmmm...I honestly don't see what it so wrong about it? I don't think it is a ruse to make our family/kid look generous as one other poster put it...I honestly want to teach our kids they have the power to change things for the better in their community. In our case he gets so much and his family always gives him tons of presents anyhow so I honestly don't feel he is left out....Maybe I will post on this later...Anyway the gift card issue....I think requesting a gift for a child is not right unless you know them. Perhaps she is wanting to save for a bike or a large item that she can get by combining several gift cards perhaps? I think it totally takes the fun out the experience for both the giver and receiver. But I am finding out I am not the majority. I even have a family member who registers her son for birthdays.... If that is what she want I say just stick to your $ amount and perhaps go to an inexpensive store and get something little to open like a little accessory or something thoughtful...it does not have to cost a lot.

Yes... a little tacky. Usually the donation is the gift.

But...I say just go along with it. Get a small amount on a gift card and a small animal food donation. I personally wouldn't want to single out my daughter as being the only one not to follow the crowd in this situation. It may make her feel really uncomfortable. (You and I know it is tacky) Now if it were something against our morals and standards then for sure she would not be following the crowd.

Over the years you are gonna find all kinds of tackiness when rubbing shoulders with your kids' friends. Try to roll with it when you can..

A savvy mama can find a five dollar gift, on sale, that looks expensive. However, a gift card must be valued at least $10. I love receiving, but hate giving gift cards for that reason.

I'm beginning to really like gift cards - that way I know the person can get exactly what they want. (If my MIL would have done this, we wouldn't have had to return so much "junk" every Christmas. Although, most of it was donated.) I also like them because there might me something a little pricier than what our budgets would allow and putting the gift cards together can allow them to get that one special item.

As for the pet food, I think that's a wonderful idea. Even animals have to eat! I actually do this at Thanksgiving - I don't ask my family to help with the dinner; I ask them to please bring something to donate to our local food bank instead. Never been a problem. It's helped the kids in our families see how we can help others.

As for your question, yes, in my opinion, I would think it inappropriate to send a regular gift. If you do, I would send the receipt with it.

Good luck!

Poor manners, in my book, to ask so specifically for two things.

I agree with other posters: it is appropriate to ask for a gift OR a donation made in lieu of a gift. I can only wonder at the type of parenting that goes on in that house if mommy is including this sort of note in an invitation. Sorry, as a parent, that would be a great opportunity to discuss expectations, not indulge my child.

Decide how much you *usually* spend on a gift for a friend and let your daughter decide how to divvy up the gift card/pet food purchase amounts. That's how I would handle it.

I'm like Laurie A.
I think I like to give gift cards but I am an extremely practical gift giver. It lets them decide what they want. I think this is because I grew up very poor. I just can't give stuff because that would have been all I got for a yr. I'd rather have a choice.
It would have been nice to have made the pet food donation part of the party so everybody got to deliver the food. But hey, it's their party.
I just can't get worked up over this. Give a gift or not. That's your choice.

I hate it when a birthday is used as a fund raising/charity event.
Inappropriate or not, I'd probably just give her a regular gift from Toys R Us.
If she wants to exchange it that's up to her but she's only going to be able to pick out another toy from that store.
If I want to donate anything to the local animal shelter I can do that on my own.
If she's not worried about the tackiness of specifically asking for certain gifts, I'll not be worried about the tackiness of ignoring the request.

Give her a $5 gift card to McDs

I think the asking for pet food is a weird thing. I mean, if you want to teach your kids the gift of giving that's fine… or if you want to say in lieu of gifts please donate to the shelter, fine. Asking people to give pet food for her to donate is odd.

As far as the gift cards go… my kids would rather get gift cards than almost any other gift from family or friends. They LOVE picking out their own stuff or buying things with their own money. And it makes it easy for the giver rather than trying to figure out what they have, or what they like etc… Of course you can brig a regular gift. But I would include a gift receipt so she doesn't end up with 3 friendship bracelet kits.

Personally I would love it if I got a gift card instead of a sweater I'll never wear, candles that give me headaches, slippers that don't fit. I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but so often gifts are purchased out of obligation rather than genuine thought or knowledge of what the person needs. And when I get a gift card as a gift I do choose something that I wouldn't normally buy for myself and remember it as a gift from the person who gave me the card. I also include that in my thank you note.

I love the pet food idea! I don't tell people what to get my kids, but when anyone asks what my boys would like for their birthdays I tell them gift cards. My boys have (mostly) outgrown toys, and the video games they are into are too expensive to get as a birthday present. The toys they receive end up being given to the church for Christmas hampers. At least they can put a couple of gift cards together to buy what they like. We only give gift cards to their friends now, unless they ask for something specific in our price range. I would rather give something that will be used and appreciated. If you think you can find a gift in your price range that the birthday girl will enjoy then I am sure it will be fine.

My go-to for kid's birthday parties is cash in a card. Cash is always appreciated, and it's easy.

I don't think it's inappropriate to bring a regular gift, but I prefer not to give traditional gifts because I have no idea what the kids has in their home already.

As for gift cards, they are my last resort as well.

I usually try to honor the request of the host, even if it's not what I would normally do. Recently, one of my friends asked for gift cards to a specific store and said they were saving up to buy a tablet for their boys (they have frequent long car rides). I was happy to get them what they wanted, though in general I think it's rude to ask/tell your guests what to give you (unless, of course, the guest asks you what you want). Several of my friends were very turned off by the request though and got actual gifts instead.

If you feel strongly about giving a regular gift, go for it, but include a gift receipt so she can easily exchange it without feeling guilty.

My first thought is the family may be having some financial issues. Unless she specifically said "Toys R Us" gift cards, then the typical Walmart and Target stores carry things such as food and clothing that they could use. If they have pets themselves, maybe they need help with that also? If this is the case and they appear they may need some help, then I would get a gift card and a bag of dog food or cat, whichever they have. If however it appears they are not struggling, then I would skip the pet food donation and still give a gift card as that way the child can pick her own gift. Not worth stressing about in my opinion since you would be spending money on a gift anyway. Good luck.

How old is your daughter?
My son is 10. Mouth if the last 10 parties he's gone to, when I inquired, the mom suggested gift cards: game stop, sporting goods place, Target, etc.
Kids LOVE gift cards.
Seriously, I know the donation AND specifying gift preference was, um, inappropriate. But there are people in this world that throw themselves wedding and baby showers...
I'd get a gift card OR gift and a small pet food donation. Cat food is, what? .79 per can?

Perhaps not PC, but maybe she is overwhelmed when tons of presents roll in, and wants the child to be able to buy something thru the year? I guess that saying that the family donates pet food to a local shelter is a nice thing to let you know, but to ask you to bring it to a party is a bit over the top.
My guess this mother is one of "those" who likes to control everything! I say take a present, and a bag of dog food. No gift card, if she has the nerve to say, did you not get my memo, just say-
"My kids like to have a present to open, didn't know it was a rule!" and then laugh.

For me, I don't agree with an invite then telling you what to bring as a gift. The only appropriate thing is forgoing the gift and say, No gifts please, but would like to donate food to our local shelter and/or which ever charity. If someone brings a gift anyway great, but if not it's ok, too. But, in this case they asked for gift cards, so why not stick to what was asked? Make it easy.

There may be some larger gift she's wanting and needs help getting enough to buy it for herself.

I'd probably give her cash so she wouldn't have to pay the process fee or that surcharge.