Infant Another Baby

Sounds to me like you've already made up your mind. A baby trumps everything else, so there's not really going to be anything your fiancee or anyone else can say that would talk you into having another one if you don't want to. I've got to say though that it sounds like you're using the money issue as an excuse instead of just telling your fiancee that you plain & simple don't want to have another baby. I've found that people who say they're waiting until they can afford a baby never have one, there will never be "enough" money for a baby. But that's beside the point, fact is, you don't want one & that's your right to make that decision so you shouldn't feel bad about it! If you are on the fence about it (which it doesn't sound like you are, but...) maybe you'd want to talk to your fiancee about helping out more. If he picks up some of the slack you might be able to see yourself handling 2 kids, and you'd be really surprised how much help your daughter will be even though she's only 4, she'd be 5 at least by the time a new baby arrived. Just a thought. Good luck whatever you decide!

As I found out on my own, if one of you doesnt want a baby, then you dont have a baby. Your daughter will be fine as an only child, as I read your request, I can plainly see that you dont want another baby. I think that if you did, money, and everything else wouldnt be an issue. I think you already know your answer.

If it were me, I would not have one in your situation. You're already doing everything. Double the costs and work you have to do on top of that. Also, I know you say, "if it's not broken..." Marriage is a commitment and says a lot about a person. I had a "significant other" in my life previously, but something always held me back from making anything permanent. Fortunately, that is done and over with, and my intuitions were right. I didn't want to finalize anything with that person, so why bring a child into the world?

I have twenty years between my children. My oldest is from my first marriage. My youngest is from my second. My second hubby is six and a half years younger than me. We wanted more children, but we've decided that financially it would not be a good decision. I would still have to work full-time. All this would just create more stress and we'd be fighting all the time. That sure isn't good for the other child or a new baby. So, we decided not to have anymore and be happy as we are.

I can't make a personal decision for you, but if it were me, I would not do it. I would have to see a lot more responsiblitly finanically, work-wise around the house, etc. before even considering it. My hubby does half of everything and he can relate to how tough it can be, at times. He can understand and laugh about women's things because he helps do EVERYTHING.

IN MY OPINION YOU SHOULDNT HAVE A CHILD IF YOU DONT WANT IT. MAYBE YOU AND HIM SHOULD TALK AND MAYBE COME TO SOME KIND OF AGREEMENT , LIKE IF HE HELPED OUT WITH THE HOUSEHOLD CHORES AND DOC APPOINTMENT , TAKE SOME OF THE STRESS OFF YOUR SHOULDERS , YOU MIGHT CHANGE YOUR MIND. OR MAYBE NOT BUT YOU DEF. SHOULDNT BRING A CHILD INTO THE WORLD IF YOU HONESTLY DONT WANT TO HAVE ANOTHER. I MEAN WHAT IF YOU DO DECIDE TO HAVE ANOTHER CHILD TO MAKE HIM HAPPY AND THEN YOU REGRET IT OR TREAT THE CHILD DIFFERENTLY (NOT INTENTALLY) THAN YOU TREAT YOUR DAUGHTER. MY FIANCE ALWAYS TOLD ME HE WANTED TO HAVE 6 KIDS BY ME, NOW HE ALREADY HAS 2 BY ANOTHER WOMAN AND 2 BY ME I DIDNT WANT ANYMORE CHILDREN , I ALWAYS WANTED A BOY AND A GIRL AND I GOT WHAT I WANTED AND GOT MY TUBES TIED. I KNEW THAT WE COULDNT AFFORD IT AND I DIDNT WANT MORE CHILDREN . I REALLY DONT THINK I COULD HANDLE ANYMORE CHILDREN. BUT I DID WHAT WAS IN MY HEART AND HE IS OK WITH THAT BECAUSE I AM THE ONE WHO HAS TO GET UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND DEAL WITH EVERYTHING JUST LIKE YOU. IF HE REALLY WANTS ANOTHER CHILD AND YOU DONT WANT TO BE PREGNANT MAYBE YOU SHOULD THINK ABOUT LOOKING INTO ADOPTING MAYBE NOT AN INFANT BUT A LITTLE OLDER. IF ITS AN OPTION FOR YOU TWO.

my point is maybe you need to sit down and do the pros and cons because i am a only child and it was good dont get me wrong as a kid but now as a adult i have no siblings to share this with so think it over carefully
but do whats best for you i just had 2 kids cause i didnt want a only child and going to have one more but i am onlym 27 but the pros of being a only child you get it all

T.,
In my opinion, you shouldn't have a baby because just one of you does. As a mom, I'm guessing your role would be bigger in the whole deal...first you carry and deliver the child, then if you're breatfeeding you do that, then when baby cries at night you're the one tuned into hearing him...I guess I'd be concerned that you'd resent the child for all the time, energy, and finances he consumes, esp. if you're happy just with one. We always try to make our husbands (significant others) happy, but there has to be a happy medium. Bringing an unwanted child into your family does not seem to accomplish that!
Take care and don't jump into anything. This is a person you're considering.
M.

OK, I think all these folk who say you don't want a baby are wrong.
It sounds to me like you really want the baby, but are just worried about what everyone of us worries about.Is there enough:
Time
Money
Love
Want
Health
I say yes there is enough. You will love, find the time, save the money, and be in just fine health. It really is a leap of faith. Trust yourself, you can do it if you want to. Baby's grow up just fine in the lowest income brackets as well as the highest. Good luck.

T.,
It sounds like you have already presented a really good case for not having another baby. I am in the same boat, as I have one 9 yr old daughter and I am 36. I feel like time is ticking away, but I am happy with just her. I pay her tuition on my own, my husband refuses (that's a whole other story and another reason why I would not have another child with him) I could not afford another child in anyway and I don't want that stress. I can barely deal with what I have now.
So reread your post and seriously consider the implications before you decide.