Announcing Pregnancy

First of all, CONGRATS! While this is a VERY personal choice, having been through multiple miscarriages myself, my advice is tell people you won't mind telling if something tragic happens - and/or people you would want to tell if something tragic happens. I have done both, and not telling, then having a miscarriage at 11 weeks makes it REALLY hard for people to help you/understand, and makes it VERY stressful on you when they call and say "what is going on?" Again, a personal choice. I'd say role play how you think you will feel both ways.

Good luck - and congrats, again!

Congradulations S.!

I think it would be ok to announce now, since this isn't your first child. Most people have gotten over the fears of a family memeber being a first time mom, such as miscarriage. You can just casually announce that you and your husband might have another little one on the way, but you haven't confirmed with your doctor yet, just as you told us. I think it best to let the whole family know so that the other half doesn't feel left out. Good luck! And I wish you a happy, uneventful pregnancy!

R.

Personally, I would wait until after the 12th week. If you just found out, you're probably about 6-8 weeks along. So much could happen then. Also, do you plan to get an amnio or CVS? If your husband would like to wait, I think it's good to consider his opinion, too. I just wanted to wait until 12 weeks, but my husband wanted to wait until our CVS and genetic testing results came back. So we compromised and told some people at 12 weeks and others at 16 weeks after the last of the CVS results came back. You can also just tell your in-laws and other close relatives, but then later tell your friends and other relatives. Good luck and congratulations!!!

I would talk with my husband about wanting to share the joy with your in-laws now. If something does happen within the first trimester, they can grieve with you too. If you did keep it a secret and something happened, they may be upset that you didn't confide in them.

I miscarried at 6 weeks and was very thankful to have the emotional support of my in-laws. I don't think men understand that. I think family should share and support with each other in both good or bad events.

Hi S.! First, congratulations on your great news! I had a similar situation arise recently, as I am currently 7 weeks pregnant with our second child. The weekend that I found out I was pregnant, my husband's entire family was in town. I took the test the morning of a big bbq at our house. There was no way we could contain our excitement, so we told everyone! It made for a great day.

Let me further back this up by telling you that I also suffered a miscarriage last September. Like you, we have believed in sharing our baby joy right away. (We did the same with our first baby too). All of our family knew that I was pregnant and I have to tell you that when I suffered my miscarriage, it helped sooooo much to have that family support. If our families hadn't known, then it would just have been my husband and I going through the miscarriage alone. That would have been much more difficult. There's nothing like having your family rallying around you during times of turmoil, and I definitely think miscarriage is one of those times.

So I say shout it from the roof tops to your family if you want to! Families are there to share our joy - and our pain - so if the worst were to happen, won't it be nice to know they're there for you?

Good luck! And congrats again!!

Congratulations!! In my opinion, you should respect your husband's wishes since it is his family. If you do decide to wait until after the first trimester, you could have his family over. Order Chinese food and for dessert, offer fortune cookies. Special order some cookies that have the fortune of your choice, ie. We're pregnant! or We're expecting! You could use this website, www.e-fortunecookie.com. Good luck and Congrats again!

Hi S..
Congratulations! I'm also about 8 weeks pregnant, and at first we wanted to wait to tell everyone, but then we just couldn't...we were so excited to share the news with our family and friends! My sister told me something that really helped our decision. She said that anyone we would tell now would be the same people we would tell if something happened to the baby. I agree with the other posters that said you need your families support in the good and the bad. Best of luck to you and congrats on your pregnancy!

I know if I had told my family and waited to tell his, even if it was his wish, his mom and others would have been deeply offended and hurt.

Is he willing to accept total responsibility for any hurt feelings because your family knew months ahead of theirs? I don't mean you saying it was his decision, but him taking ownership of it and speaking for himself and making clear it was his choice. Sit down and have a serious talk with your husband about this concern. If he can't do this, then you need to tell them. Personally, I might still tell them. I feel like it is wrong to treat the two families so differently.

My SIL & her husband had the same disagreement but in reverse. He decided to tell his family & close friends. In the end, she lost the baby and he was left in the uncomfortable position of having to call everyone to tell them. A couple of times she ran into someone that hadn't yet heard the bad news and when they she asked how she was doing she had to tell them. It was very awkward for her. I know you are excited, but you just found out and don't even have confirmation from the OB. We waited and everyone understood. You just have to make sure you tell those "important" people first before you start spreading the news.

Best of luck to you!