Always Hungry at Bedtime

In short, she's playing you for a bedtime stall. My 2yr old does things like this to try and put off bedtime (throwing her lovey off the bed then crying it's "lost", wants socks off/on, needs to sit on the potty even though she just peed in her diaper, etc). I think a good rule is once teeth are brushed, no more food...so eat up at nighttime snack cause that's all you're getting. Let her have ice-water in an insulated mug by her bed in case she does get thirsty but that's it.

It actually helped my daughters nighttime wakeups wanting milk when we started leaving a sippy cup of water in bed with her. She would wake up thirsty and drink the sippy instead of crying for milk.

S.,
My daughter did that for a while when she was end of 3/beginning of 4. I just gave her a piece of cheese in bed and said good night again. She ate it and went to sleep because she knew she would get nothing else and crying or getting up would just get her disciplined by me or her father.

I wouldn't worry about the teeth so much! Why redo the whole routine for a piece of toast? No sugar or acid, so I'd say you're safe.

I had a similar problem with my daughter. We've always done snack before bed, but typically it was their dessert. This worked fine with my older three. But my youngest has never been a big eater and gets filled up quickly. She was routinely coming out 1/2 after bedtime crying about being hungry. We now do this: Her afternoon snack is her dessert treat. Then, at nighttime snack, if she didn't eat enough at dinner, but says she's full, I save her plate and reheat it at snack time. If she finished her dinner, she's required to have a sizeable portion of healthy snack including protein, such as 1/2 Pbj sandwich, cheese and crackers, yogurt, cereal with fruit. This has totally solved the problem. I honestly believe she was hungry. Her tummy just wasn't big enough to eat enough food at dinner to last her through. She has also struggled with being underweight, so for awhile I used pediasure (unknown to her) to make a small milkshake as well. Try this, and if it works, then you'll know she was truly hungry.

We have built a bedtime snack into our routine- instead of brushing teeth first and then reading books in bed, we read books together on the couch while my daughter (3 1/2) eats "bedtime cereal". By now I can pretty much pour 3 books worth of cereal! After that, she brushes her teeth, then we go upstairs and snuggle in bed. That way I'm sure that her tummy is full. What I don't know is if it's a good idea to eat right before bed, I mean as a lifelong habit, but I find I have to do the same thing or I wake up hungry in the middle of the night! So I guess it's okay for us. Good luck!

I would say she's genuinely hungry AND making excuses to stay up...because "HEY! We get to redo everything!!!"

One trick is giving her a big mug of warm milk (whole preferably) to drink in bed as you're reading her bedtime story. Milk has those long lasting fats & proteins, and warm milk is a sleep-aid.

My dentist (started practicing back when god was a boy) is of the opinion that in over 60 years of practice he has never seen a child's teeth suffer from milk sugars...but to keep a toothbrush by the bed in a small drink/spit cup if we're giving hot chocolate (milk+hershey's) before bed.

Regardless of HOW you do it, feeding on demand is incredibly good for development, but having it make everything @ bedtime take twice as long needs to be nixed pronto.

:) Zzzzzzzzzzz

Arg! Mine did this at that age. So frustrating. I learned to head it off by offering her something about 15 minutes before bedtime. If I forgot, I bring her up a banana or something she could eat in bed (while I picked up the upstairs) and then brush teeth and bed (no story - I enjoy reading her stories down stairs on the couch - have never really read much to her in bed). She stopped asking on her own after a while.

At first I thought it was a delay tactic, but then I started to think she really was hungry.

I figured what was the harm in offering her food, she is a growing child.

Today (6 years) I can tell the nights that she is going to be hungry. Big day or didn't enjoy what I made for dinner. She doesn't do it very often as I usually get her fed before she asks. But if she does, I feed her. Can't stand to think a child is going to bed hungry in this country.

Positively,
M.

My son's both went through that. After snack, I remind them that after I put them in bed there is no more snacks. It is usually a ploy to stay awake longer when they do get up. They try it all, before we start the bedtime routine I even go through a quick check list with them "do you need to go potty, are you still hungry, do you need a drink of water, etc." to cover the main excuses for getting up! I would try to maybe give her a drink of water beforeleaving the room and let herknow that eating time is over.

It could be a growth spurt, or just becoming a habit for her. My 12 year old still does this on occasion, sometimes I am not even done cleaning up after dinner and he is already hungry again, he is very tall and very thin, and I assume he is growing and burning up more energy in these summer months. My rule is 20 minutes before scheduled bed time I will tell my kids now is the time for snacks, and they have to be done in that time or the kitchen is closed. I know my kids are considerably older, but the hungry stomach as bedtime doesn't ever go away. I would suggest telling her that the kitchen is closed at a certain time, of course you will know if she has had enough to eat, I can't imagine being able to ignore or deny a child who is crying for something to eat. I know this sounds lam but a drink of water sometimes helps as well. Adults often mistake thirst for hunger. Good luck, as I approach putting my oldest in high school I wish I could be reading him bed time stories as a 4 year old.

S.,
Hi! If your daughter is eating her dinner and having a snack before you put her down than I would say she is trying to stay up at night and prolong bedtime by saying she is hungry. You need to lay down the law with her. Tomorrow durring dinner, let her know that there will be a new house rule- Once you go to bed, no more snacks. Encourage her to eat until she is full both at dinner and bedtime snack reminding her of the new rule. THen, you need to stick to your guns. She will most likely test the new rule to see if you will really follow through. It is really important that you do not cave in. Good luck!
H.

Give her a snack at about 8 pm. Something hardy w/out much sugar toast and cheese or toast and nut butter. Also, have water there for her to sip on, not to drink down but to sip on. When your tummy is that small two hours is a long time to go between meals. My 12 year old boy sometimes still gets hungry once he slows down to go to sleep. Resisting only created stress and he was still hungry. Most kids are telling the truth if they say they are hungry.

Excuse! My 3.5 yr old did it every night. When I let her come into the kitchen for another snack she would just play around. Not hungry! I made her stay in bed and brought her a piece of cheese or something but stay in her room. It has stopped, she just wanted to come out and see what mummy was doing. Now the fun is gone from being hungry the behavior has stopped.
Preschoolers will do anything to test boundaries. I bet she is not really hungry she just wants to see how much she can test you.
If you really think she is hungry then I would try some more high protein snacks at her usual snack time. Protein gives the sensation of being full longer. Good luck!

What a lovely power game she is playing with you. How long do you want to keep playing it?

Tell her in advance that you have a new rule about bed time. Once she is in bed she has to stay in bed. (If you want you can leave some toast on the bedside table.) But no more getting out of bed. She can not yell at you. And she can earn fun things to do--like ......

I would work on positive rewards. If things she likes to do. First small rewards so that she can reach them in one night. Then harder ones that require two or three nights. And harder yet that require a 5 days. And so on.

I hope this helps.

I'd say it's her way of getting attention and to get out of going to bed just yet. I totally remember when I was little I used to call and call for my mom for water, over and over. I did it all the time and I wasn't thirsty really I just didn't want to go to bed just yet ;)

I personally wouldn't give her a snack at that time at all, I'd be saying... well you should have eaten more at dinner, you'll eat again in the morning. She won't starve. And unless she is super skinny then it's probably doing more harm than good giving her food before bed creating bad eating habits.

If you actually really think she's hungry then give her more dinner or offer her seconds and remind her that she won't be eating again until breakfast. So when she is done, that's it, no more food till morning :)

i'm going to go with excuse. my 4 year old will do this on occasion. i simply tell her that time for eating has passed, and now it is time for sleeping.

Our kids try that too. We just had to let them cry it out. Let her now she already had her snack and now its time for bed. also tell her that after she brushes her teeth there is no more food until morning. It's hard I know but after a few days she will give up.

It's an excuse, or a habit that has been formed because you allowed it to. My children eat dinner, and that's it until breakfast -- 16 hours later! 6 pm to 8 am. I see no reason why any other typical child cannot do the same. Children adjust to what they are used to. Believe me, my kids are very happy and healthy.

I suppose a few times my son has complained of being hungry at bedtime. If he ate a good dinner, I would let him have something NUTRITIOUS and quick. But if he didn't eat his dinner, I would say, I'm sorry but you chose not to eat your dinner. Breakfast is in 12 hours.

I'm surprised to hear of people doing bedtime snacks, food left by the bed, bananas in the middle of the night. We do have an obesity problem in this country. Uh, choking hazard? Ants?

If you want 8 pm and later to be YOUR time, YOU have to make it happen. YOU have to be willing to be firm, not give in, not allow her to manipulate you and call the shots. This is always harder AFTER you have behaved differently previously. I don't know if you have the backbone for it, but IF you want that time to yourself, YOU must change. You must look at her at bedtime and say, I don't want to see you again until morning. If you do, do not engage conversation, tell her you'll see her in the morning and send her back to bed.

ps my kids adore me.

maybe make sure the bedtime snack is heavy on the protein and some (healthy) fats, so it sticks to her gut long enough to get her to sleep?

I've had some of this problem off and on. Mostly I aim to get the kids into bed soon enough after dinner/lastfood to avoid the not-quite-asleep mind-wander "oh wait my body feels funny, what's that ... I'm hungry!" cycle. Just like owies that went unnoticed during the day suddenly hurt worth wailing and sobbing as a kid is being tucked into bed, weird feelings from their tummies loom large as other physical distractions are shut down for the night. It will probably seem draconian to some, but unless I look back on the evening and see that legitimately I didn't feed them enough or late enough (or on rare occasions when I figure a kid really is growing *that* fast), I might decide to give them half a glass of water but I don't decide to give them food. Once their teeth are brushed, they are not allowed to expect me to feed them.

(And yes, sometimes we have a big argument when I call them to brush teeth ... but if they seem legitimately hungry and have remembered the deadline I set, I do at that time take time to feed them. But I often inform the child in question that that means they are taking up their book time with eating and they won't get to choose a book ... oftentimes they are hungry and choose to eat anyhow, but sometimes they admit they weren't really, and choose the book instead.)

I have read most of the posts below. The thing that sticks out the most to me is that you go through bedtime routine AGAIN after her 2nd snack. I say if she is honestly hungry give her a banana or something that she can eat in bed and not make a mess. AFter she cleans her tetth again I would say that is it time for bed (no 2nd story or prolonged goodnight). Give her a quick goodnight and head out of her room. I would say that she is probably i hungry and wants to stay up longer. She is getting another 30 min or so with doing this and going through the whole bedtime routine again. Another suggestion, give her a pediasure right before bed, this will hold her over. What I do when my little one doesnt eat much at dinner I put half a packet of Instant Breakfast in her milk that she has before bed. This works in filling up her little belly till the morning.
Best of luck, I know its tough trying to figure out if she is pulling your leg or not. :)

Your daughter just discovered a way to manipulate you into letting her stay up late!

Try giving her a before bedtime snack that is high in protein (like nuts or peanut butter) and stick to your guns about bedtime. I promise, she will make it to morning just fine... she will not starve.

I do not think that she is having a power play with you. She is obviously hungry, because she is eating what you give her. All of us, as individuals, know when we are hungry. But for some reason it is equated to a power play with small children:( It sounds like to me that she needs more protein in her dinner/snacks. I would give her toast with peanut butter or cheese instead of plain toast. Good luck!

It sounds like a good stalling technique to me...sorry...that isn't very encouraging. But, I would say that in the afternoon, that snacking should be clustered into a dinner, in order to make sure that she eats enough and gets in the habit not to snack after dinner...letting her know that is the end of foodtime. I do this with my 2 year old, also ease up on water consumption b/c of her diapers that can overflow by morning. Good luck!

Big delay tactic she is using. Mine uses water after she has just had a drink. If you are feeding her a snack just before bedtime, she doesn't need to continue eating. She can definitely wait until morning.