After Bad Experience with Nursing My First I Really Want It to Work for Baby #2!

Hi L.,

I just want to encourage you. My daughter was never a great nurser. She was losing weight at a month, so we ended up supplementing her with a bottle. My son, however, was a completely different story. He intuitively just grabbed on like a fish after a bug! He did fabulously, and it took me over a month to ween him when I tried at 12 months. Each child is different.

If it doesn't go well with the next one, keep trying and get as much help and input as you can, but don't beat yourself up. God bless you and your new little one!

Don't be so h*** o* yourself and I hope you are successful breastfeeding your second baby because you so badly want to do it, not because your baby won't be healthy on formula. I, too, gave up on breastfeeding with my first because he spent several hours in the NICU and was fed several bottles which he loved and screamed every time I tried to breastfeed him. So, after crying and getting anxious with every nursing session, I decided it wasn't worth getting that upset over and just gave him formula. My mom didn't breastfeed, so I really had no experience with it at all and even though the consultants at the hospital tried to help me, it just didn't work. With baby number 2, I thought I would certainly be successful and planned on breastfeeding as soon as I could. Well, things sometimes don't turn out the way we plan them. My baby weighed almost 10 lbs. and was suspected of having an infection shortly after he was born, so it was off to the NICU with my second baby, too. He ended up spending a week in the NICU and after all the stress, worry, crying, not eating or resting properly and only seeing my baby twice a day, breastfeeding didn't work for him either. I was able to pump for about a month, but just couldn't produce enough milk for him, so I had to mix each bottle with breast milk and formula. Since I hadn't breastfed my first, I knew nothing about building up a milk supply. After a month I gave up pumping, too. I just didn't have time with a newborn and a 3 year old. Both my boys are strong, smart and healthy, so I know I made the right choices for us. I guess what I'm trying to say is learn to be flexible. Things don't always turn out the way we want them to and that's ok. I used to be pretty inflexible when it came to things I wanted, but having children sure has taught me to ease up a little, for which I'm grateful. I so hope you are able to breastfeed just like you want to and congratulations on baby number 2.

I wanted to point you to a great resource - the discussion boards at Mothering.com have a great section devoted to breastfeeding http://www.mothering.com/discussions/ and you can get lots of help from other Moms who feel that breastfeeding is very important. I also am here if you need help. I have successfully breastfed my son for 2 years now. It is very important and he's hardly been sick despite a compromising birth.

My first I tried to nurse and he was starving. At his two week check-up he was down a full pound. I tried everything - herbs, the lactation consultant (loved her), and pumping. All I could every get was 2-4 oz. max. His bottles were half breast milk, half formula. It was alot of work for that little bit of milk!
With number 2 I tried to nurse again, but this time I knew my daughter was still hungry after nursing 45 minutes and wanting more within 15 minutes. The bottles were cleaned that night and we went to straight formula. It was such a relief not to put that pressure on myself.
If you make enough milk and there is just a latch problem, just pump and then bottle feed. It takes alot of time, but your baby is getting the good stuff. I felt it was not worth all the work to still give formula too.

I had the same problem when I was 27 yrs old with my first one. They put me in a ward with three other moms who were not first time moms and knew what they were doing. I believe that when they took my son to have him circumsized he was gone a long time and I waited and waited. One thing I gave them permission to give him a bottle so they seemed to not hurry him back to me. He would not latch on too. A nurse came to my home and we ended up putting a rubber bottle nipple over my breast and he sucked that. It did fill him and I did get the milk I needed. My children were small. But after about 5 weeks when I kept getting up to wash the rubber nipple I decided it was easier to just give him a bottle. I guess I had and still see one of my nipples are inverted. Not all the time. So they have to suck hard to get it outward. The next and last daughter was not a problem stronger baby. I was told to smush my boob and shove as much in her mouth as I can. I did and she was able to nurse. I nursed about 7-8 months and got tired of it. But the whole time with both children and with her the best part was I also could give her a bottle here and there she did both. I told my step daughter about that and her baby was allergic to the formula and got sick. But my daughter did great. I was able to give her a bottle when ( I had a beauty salon at home) customers and when I was out in public. But the rest of the time I nursed. Also I did not have any trouble weening her because of this. I had enough milk and not too much as the more you extract the more milk you get and it can get uncomfortable to have so much. All I did was we watched a movie and took a bath towel to ruff the nipples used A & D ointment and that was it. They still got some raw. Good Luck, I think just not knowing how and also being a first time nervous mom is harder. You will do fine. God Bless G. W

Congrats L.! First you can not be so h*** o* yourself. There is some good advice already given by other mom's so I will be brief. What worked for ME, not everyone is the same, I purchased a rubbery nipple that went over mine to help the baby latch. I did not leave it on very long so that they don't get used to it. I would take it off after a few minutes of eating this way they were not so anxious to eat. I needed it with the first one because I got so sore and then with the second I used it on and off to protect my nipple and to help them latch. Also, drink lot's of liquids. Oh, some may think this is a no no but with my first, laying down made it so much easier!
Good luck and God bless...

I am not sure where you live, but the breast feeding support center at Harris HEB is AWESOME! I wanted to nurse both my girls and with my first, it took 9 weeks of going to the support center once a week, for her to finally nurse without a nipple shield (which, unless you have to use one, I would not recommend....I am so full on one of my sides, that she wouldn't latch initially without it....with my second, I learned to hold my full side while she nursed and she was able to do so just fine)....needless to say, the staff there is so supportive and patient. After the birth of my second child, my nipple split down the center (of my full side, of course) and not one lactation consultant or nurse at Baylor downtown could help me figure out that was wrong. I went to the BFSC, sat down and started to nurse....Laura (the Director) said, oh, I know exactly what is wrong and within 5 minutes we were "fixed". My second also kept crying at night and we couldn't figure out why. One trip to the center told me that my 3 month old ate 11 ounces from my one side in 5 minutes....I had an oversupply issue they helped me work through. So, my recommendation is to stay positive and get in touch with the support center. There is also one downtown in fort worth at Harris. Pumping isn't the same as nursing....but I also nursed and pumped with my first. She took bottles and nursed fine for 15 months. So, if you do pump, talk with them on how to keep your supply up.

The best advice I can give is hang in there! If your baby isnt getting enough they will just nurse more frequently which will in turn build up your supply. I nursed my now 3 year old until she was 12 months old, 5 of those months I was pregnant with my now 22 month old. I am still nursing my 22 month old special needs son. The first 3 months of his life I had to pump and bottle feed him, I did that during the day and at night I let him nurse. He eventually got the hang of it! We have been through alot with my son, surgeries and outright refusing to eat because of GI issues. My milk volume always goes down but comes right back when he starts eating again.

No advice, I just want to say that it isn't silly to give your baby formula b/c you think he/she isn't getting enough nutrition from breastmilk. For MANY, MANY people, this is exactly the case! It isn't your fault, and you shouldn't feel guilty one second for that. Formula is perfectly great... what the "pro-breast" people sometimes don't understand is that it just doesn't work for everyone, and there are a lot of misconceptions about formula feeding vs. breast feeding. Try again since it is important to you-- but if it doesn't work, do not beat yourself up for going to formula. I raised 2 healthy, beautiful girls on formula (imagine that!)-- not a drop of breast milk!!
:)

I'm a first time Mom and nursing didn't go perfect but it's 4 months in and I'm probably feeding him 50% BM 50% formula (pumping mostly vs. nursing now that I am working and he is in daycare). Anyway, I only have 2 things to offer up: the tip about pointing the nipple toward the roof of the mouth was how I finally got a better latch. Also, if you do end up feeding through a bottle I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE these bottles called Breastflow bottles made by The First Years. http://www.learningcurve.com/breastflow. If you click on the 'see what Mom's think area' then within there is information on how they work. Anyway, we were worried too about how much he was eating so when he was only a few weeks old I pumped and fed him with this bottle for almost 2 weeks straight. I would nurse every so often as well. I'm not suggesting to do this in any way but with this bottle he went back and forth b/t bottle and breast with no problem and he still does at 4 months. In fact, I think the bottle actually "taught" him how to nurse better b/c after those 2 weeks of using it, he nursed much better and it was much less painful. These were recommended by my lactation consultant and are AWESOME! I see on their website they have BPA free versions now but not sure if those are available in store or not. I got mine at Babies r Us. Good luck!!

i would say first of all relax. your baby won't starve, my daughter took a couple of weeks before she nursed really well, but we only nursed and she did not starve. she maybe was hungry more often but that just gave us more times to practice. i just always made sure she opened her mouth really wide to get a good latch, and point your nipple towards the roof of their mouth. but you have to be comfortable with it and relaxed bc they can sense it when your anxious and it makes them anxious too

Every baby is different.
I had 2 completly different experiences with my boys. The youngest I nursed a lot longer and he did better with it then my first. They taught me a new latch so my nipples didn't get sore. Well not near as bad. I can't remember exactly but you hold the baby in one arm and you make your breast into an oval with your other hand and have them latch on put more than your nipple in and you can actually massage some milk out in the begining while they are nursing it helps keep them on at first because it takes a little bit of sucking to let it down.
Just remember that it is important to you and don't listen to anyone else,nursing is a personal thing, not everyone has a perfect time with it. You will be suprised that with the 1st one you were worried you were or weren't doing the right thing and with your 2nd you just enjoy them!

Did you attend the classes at the Nesting Place with Kay? She was fantastic and I learned so much from her class. I am currently nursing my daughter who will be 10 months tomorrow. When she was first born I worried about the latch and was she getting enough, and went back to see Kay for only a few minutes, and she made some simple adjustments that made alot of difference. I can tell you this, the six week growth spurt about did me in but I kept telling myself that my nipples could not fall off! Once I got past that it has been alot easier and we are beginning to wean now. I plan to have her only nursing at night by the time she is a year.
Best of luck to you.