Advice on Weaning - Council Bluffs,IA

Updated on August 14, 2008
A.J. asks from Council Bluffs, IA
16 answers

Hello everyone! I was hoping to get some experienced advice on the upcoming weaning of my daughter who is currently 10 1/2 months old. I have, due to her refusal of any type of bottle since she was 3 months old, exclusively breastfed her. Right now she just breastfeeds about 3-4 times daily, upon waking up, nap times, and bedtime, and eats 3 meals. I plan on breastfeeding about a year. I was hoping to get some advice from you all in hopes of making the transition as painless and stress-free for her as possible. She does ok with a sippy cup but only if it is water, and pretty good with water and breastmilk from an open cup. She will not drink juice or formula. Any advice would be much appreciated! Thanks so much in advance!

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So What Happened?

Thanks so much to all who responded. The past couple months have gone much better than I expected them to. I have weaned slowly, removing 1 feeding every couple of weeks. We are now down to one side in the morning and the other before bed and couldn't be happier! Thanks again!

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L.H.

answers from Milwaukee on

Try using whole milk in the cup. Also cut back one breast feeding a day. She will adjust eventually.

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J.M.

answers from St. Cloud on

Check out some other peoples posts on weaning. There is a lot of good advice in those as well. Good luck and congrats from a nursing mom as well.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.W.

answers from Iowa City on

For my daughter I weaned her at 2 1/2 yrs. It may seem abnormal for most to nurse that long, but I felt it was natural. My son was 6 mos at the time so it was stressful nursing both of them. The simplest things I found were to just avoid familiar nursing spots & replace it with something else pleasurable like back rubbing. She was also old enough I could explain it to her & she understood well & it went pretty smoothly. My son has just turned 2 1/2 and I am taking a more natural approach to it & it is pretty much happening on its own. He will nurse anywhere from 0-3 x a day (sometimes he will skip it for a day). I am very glad I have continued to nurse him & I plan to do it as long as we are both happy. I feel good knowing I am letting him have a say in something that means so much to him. The world health organization also recommends it for a minimum of 2 years. The health benefits increase the longer you do it as well. You can make it whatever you want it to as well. If all you picture is a 2 yr old pulling on your blouse in public it does not have to be like that. You can set limits so both of you are happy. You should research the benefits & there are some really good book out there on extending breastfeeding.
Brekka

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S.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

A.,

My story sounds a lot like yours. All four of my kids gave up the bottle at about 4 months. I started them on a sippy cup just for practice at about 6 months and weaned them from breastfeeding at 1 year (give or take a couple of weeks.)

I would keep giving her the sippy cup - no pressure - just to experiment with during meal times in the high chair. If your sippies don't leak, practicing in the car is also a great time. She is going to get better and better as the weeks go by. Just keep giving it to her every day and don't get discouraged or expect too much too soon. It could take at least a month of every day practice.

I wouldn't even try juice because kids quickly get a sweet tooth and refuse anything else after a while. Not to mention that even 100% juice is very sugary. Even my 7,5 and 3 year olds just get juice on special occasions, definately not every day.

Keep trying the breastmilk in the sippy cup. (I know it is a pain to have to throw it away.) You could also try formula if you have some samples, but I wouldn't try too hard on formula because she can switch to whole milk in a matter of weeks anyway. I gave my last 3 kids whole milk at about 11 months and they did fine. I know the doctor says "1 year old" but it isn't like your baby magically changes overnight into a child who can handle cow's milk on their first birthday. You just watch them and see how they handle new foods - especially dairy - and if you don't see any kind of allergic reaction, you try something else.

Good luck,
S.

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E.I.

answers from Duluth on

trust me, it doesnt last forever, and you are doing a fantastic job mom! :D it seems frustrating and confusing and hard all the time... but its worth it

first i recommend you get ahold of your local le leche league, or one near you. they can answer your questions, and offer you support from other moms like you! i finally got around to joining one when my son was like 17 months old and i am still kicking myself that i didnt get involved in it sooner!! my son weaned himself at 20 months. just never asked again.

www.askdrsears.com is another supportive website with good information.

as for specifically weaning your child, i really dont know... if there is a chair or spot you usually nurse, dont sit there. rearrange your house or furnature or something so you dont find yourself sitting there. i know if i sat in my special spot on the couch, my son would sometimes nurse just cuz i sat down there.

try giving sippys or cups when wanting to nurse. nutritionally, you shouldnt start this until after a year of age anyway, but you dont sound like you would.

around a year, you can start serving some milk. i HIGHLY recommend soy milk since cows milk is a HIGH allergen, and can cause many many issues. there are studies now that show that the proteins in animal meats and milks actually turns to an acid in the body, and that eats away at our bones (gradually) leading to osteoperosis! a good example of this is the inuit people eat the highest amounts of calcium in the world (mostly from animal products) and they yet have the HIGHEST rate of osteoperosis in the world! in places where they drink little to no milk and other animal products, the osteoperosis is almost nonexistent!
www.thechinastudy.com is a good place to learn more about these studies.

now, im not a vegetarian by any means, and i dont ever tell anyone that they should be, but just by being aware of the problems associated with meat and animal products, you can lower the amounts you eat, or even substitute animal products with other things. the morning star products are excellently tasty, and though it would take a while for you and your husband to get used to it, soy milk is actually better for women anyway - a recent study i just read about relates that soy milk actually reduces breast cancer risk! besides that its extremely healthy.

in my family we have gone down to skim milk, and someday i might start making the transition by mixing skim milk and soy milk, and switching over that way.

by the way, if you were to ever have a little boy, they should have almond milk ;)

anyway... its all a matter of choice, but people should be aware of what the research is showing. and besides, soy milk will taste a whole lot less like breastmilk, enough so that your daughter might just take it out of a sippy cup with no problems. you can even give soy milk before she turns one year old because it usually doesnt cause the allergies as much as cows milk does. after all, she wont know the difference!

anyway, that was a long unrelated mess of information for you.
i dont think you needed to know all of that... but anyway i rambled.
check out your le leche league.. www.llli.org.

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M.H.

answers from Rapid City on

She does not need cow's milk, formula or juice to thrive as a toddler. There isn't anything in cow's milk or formula that she can't get from other sources, and the whole fruit is much better than just the juice (especially if you don't want your daughter to have a mouthful of fillings). As long as she's getting enough fat from cheese, yogurt, nuts etc., and calcium from foods like broccoli, she'll be fine nutritionally. AFA actually weaning, "don't offer, don't refuse" worked really well for me, and I didn't have any engorgement that way.

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S.S.

answers from Sioux City on

With my oldest son, I was able to give up one feeding at a time over a period of a week or so and it went wonderfully. We started by skipping his least favorite session and ended with his favorite. It was amazing and I had no problems.

I tried to do the same with my youngest son but he loved to nurse and cuddle so much that weaning was taking weeks and weeks. I ended up having to quit all at once... Without going gradually at all! He did fine the first day... He HATED me the second day and by the third day, he had pretty much forgotten he was ever a nursing baby. On the downside... I was in alot of pain and had to pump from time to time to feel better and not get any infection.

Also, I have heard that to get a baby to drink milk or anything out of a cup, you really water down the liquid at first and gradually start adding more of the liquid until the baby will drink it... That may work for you also! I think a friend of mine did that. Best of luck!
S.

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S.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

Wow, I am in the EXACT same position as you! I look forward to reading your responses. My 11 month old is very attached to nursing, so I am already trying (not so successfully) to start the transition, even though I plan to nurse for a few more months. Good luck!!

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R.L.

answers from Fargo on

Hi A.! First of all, I had no idea how difficult it would be to wean! My daughter is 8 months old and I am in the process of weaning her before I go back to work at the end of the month. Initially, she refused any sort of bottle - other than at daycare. She would not take a bottle from me whatsoever. We tried every single nipple/bottle combination we could find and eventually I found that she takes different bottles from different people - at home she will take the NUK brand nipple, but only if it is upside down - sounds bizarre, but it works!!! She is now only nursing in the morning, before bed, and if she gets up in the middle of the night. I have heard that if your child gets hungry enough, he or she will take the bottle - I was glad to never get to that point, but I supposed that will work, too!

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S.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

Congrats for nursing her for the past 10+ months. Why wean at 12 mos? If both you and she are happy with the nursing relationship, why change it just because she turns 1? That nursing bond is so wonderful, why end it? MANY people bfed past a year old. Realistically, if she is down to 3-4 times a day, she may even wean herself before a year old, or shortly after. I would let her lead and let her decide when she is ready, as long as it is working for you, as well. Extended bfeeding is has many great benefits for both your dd and for you. Good luck and keep up the great work!
S.
mom of 3 and daycare provider

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A.J.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hi A.! I have twin girls that are 15 mos old now. They BOTH also refused the bottle & I exclusively breast fed until they were 11 months old. Here's what I did: I always nursed first, then put the girls in their high chairs for a meal. During mealtime, they always had a sippy of formula. They would sometimes drink it a little & sometimes not at all. No big deal, because they were still nursing. Then I stopped nursing before their evening meal first (I chose that meal because M. husband was home to help if needed). They just went straight to the high chair with a sippy cup & meal. They didn't drink much at first--and of course I worried about them getting enough calories, etc, (they've always been 5% or smaller on the charts), but they would make up for it in the meals. Next I cut out the lunchtime nursing session. Same thing. Then I stopped the morning, and last the before bed one. They gradually started drinking the formula & took that for the last month. If you have stored breastmilk, I'd obviously use that first (I didn't have any left). Don't worry about them getting enough milk, because they get a lot of nutrients from the food they are eating. Keep them hydrated with water between meals. When I went in for their one year check up, the ped. asked how many oz. they were drinking of formula a day & I was worried, because it wasn't very much--only 12-15 oz. BUT she said that was great, because they need to transition to getting their intake from food, not liquids! So, it worked out great. I hope that helps a little! Good luck!!

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C.D.

answers from La Crosse on

There is a product called, I think...'numz' or something, which you can paint on your nipple and the taste of it is very unappealing. I got it at Target, and it is usually used for people trying to stop thumbsucking. After 22 months of breastfeeding my daughter, I only had to use it a few times and she really weaned very easily. I credit the ease of our weaning to the fact that I let her indulge herself with breastfeeding and I was secure in knowing she had gotten all that she needed and then some, so I didn't feel guilty and she didn't suffer. She would absolutely never take a bottle or a pacifier...no matter what...and I tried everything. Once she weaned from the breast, she became an entirely excellent nighttime sleeper and to this day, 2 1/2 years later, still is. I think that allowing her to nurse for a good length of time really helped foster good and permanent sleep habits for her. I don't want to be a party pooper about it, but I think limiting yourself to only getting to nurse your daughter one year could turn out to be stressful because it may not work out as you expect it to work.

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L.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

Remove one feeding at a time. Start with the feeding she is the least attached to and give her a cup instead. When she has gotten used to this, get rid of the next easiest feeding. Most likly the bedtime feeding will be the last to go. Your husband may have to put her to bed while you are out for a walk or grocery shopping.

You may find that she won't accept cow's milk until she is completely weaned. Don't worry about that.

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L.Q.

answers from Des Moines on

I am also in the exact same position as you. Reading everyones responses has been very encouraging. My son is now 15 months old and I am returning to work after being laid off for the past 8 months. He was used to drinking from a bottle when I was away at work but when I got laid off he was BF exclusively. I have tried several times to wean him but he loves to nurse when he wakes up, nap time, and bedtime. I have decided to keep nursing at bedtime and in the morning and see how it goes. It doesn't help that my husband thinks he is too old to still be nursing. Oh well. Good luck!!

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M.A.

answers from Janesville-Beloit on

Hi A.!

I totally agree with Sharon D., that you don't have to wean unless you really want to. You already have your little one down to 3 or 4 nursings a day, and she is eating real food. Awesome job, mom! None of mine took to the bottle very well either, even with breastmilk in it. Each of our three girls had a different idea about when they were finished with nursing. My first, a preemie, gave up on nursing at about 16 months. My second, the wild child, started pulling off the breast, getting down from my lap and crawling away when she was only 10 1/2 months (she would nurse enough to let my milk down, so then I had to go express or I would leak everywhere). I thought the youngest was going to hang on forever, but she finally started to lose interest at about 19 months. I think when a baby really starts to get distracted a lot while nursing or you have to go find her to nurse instead of her finding you, she's ready to move on. It was really hard for me emotionally with each child, because I felt they were growing up too fast! If your baby is really still into it and you are too, then don't buy into any preconceived notions (or family pressure, even from a husband who means well) about when you should stop nursing. You will know when it's time. Good luck.

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C.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

Do it gradually. My youngest son was exclusively breast fed and wouldn't take a bottle at all. I weaned him at 14 months. I was on a tight schedule because we were going out of town and I weaned him too quickly by eliminating two feedings at once. He went beserk! It was a nightmare! Neither one of us slept for about 4 nights. Just elminate one feeding at a time and do it gradually over the course of days or even weeks. Good luck and congrats on breastfeeding for a year.

I just wanted to add that I would check with your pediatrician or do some research before you went the soy milk route as someone suggested. A majority of people who have a problem with dairy also have a problem with soy, my older son included. I was just reading in some medical materials yesterday that soy can cause just as many allergic reactions as dairy. All of the choices and decisions can be overwhelming at times!

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