Address Coach or Change School ?

I would look for another school. In each discipline, it's best to find the coach that works with your child best for their interest. Some kids just want an activity, but my kids wanted to compete at higher levels, so i looked for those programs. What I found was that the cost is the same and they get so much more out of it. I struggle with coaches that let kids "chat" and mess around when I'm paying good money for a 30 minute to hour session.

I have 4 out of 6 of my grandkids enrolled in various dance and gymnastic classes. With it being about $50 per month for each class I can understand your feelings. I work hard for the money to pay for this and sacrifice many things that I would love to have, like buying a used dryer instead of a new one. We are fortuanate that the gym the kids go to allows parents to sit in the mezzanine of the gym and watch if they choose. Of course the dance instructor doesn't allow parents to observe the class but I still can "Peek" from the stairs into her classroom.

I think you should do everything you can to observe a class and find out how much time they really spend just visiting. It may be his teaching style to teach to get the visiting and talking out of the way and then start class. But as for not sparring I don't know. When I am working in the clothing store at the kids gym I often have parents ask questions about what the kids are learning. They'll hear the "Hokey Pokey" song playing in the dance studio and are upset the kids are doing something so silly instead of learning to dance...I explain that the (3-5 yr. olds) are learning hands go left, hands go right, follow the teacher, follow directions, etc...they then see the benefit of what they are doing. Same thing if they're dressed up in imitation grass skirts and lei's, They're not learning to Hula, they're learning to control their bodies in a round about way that is more fun than a teacher standing in front of them and they enjoy the class more.

As for an action sport like TKD I would think it needs to be more direct but maybe it's the teachers style. I definantly suggest observing the class and then finding a teacher more in tune with what you are wanting.

I think it' so funny...the first time the kids noticed Taylor L. om TV in a trailer for the movie they both stopped in the middle of the floor and watched. They both said, almost in unison "It's Lava Boy!".

I would certainly address the Coach to find out what his plan is to get the children ready for sparing. If you do not see results them I would search for a TKD school that would satisfy what your looking for.

D.

Can you check out other classes/schools in your area and see if they are doing things differently? Maybe you could also find out what lies ahead if he contunues with the current teacher. Do the older kids get more focused training, etc? 7 is really young for a child to be training seriously for anything, in most cases. But you might as well give him the best class for your money, so I would look into the other options and see if they look better.

Hi Jodi - it sounds as if your son's teacher has all good intentions and wants to make TKD a happy time for the kids but is perhaps not as competitive as you would like. I can tell you from personal experience - not TKD though - that one size does not fit all for teachers. I think you should ask around all your friends, other moms at school, perhaps find another school even if it's further away to find a teacher who will take his training up a notch. My 15-year-old is a talented guitar player and he has a wonderful teacher. For years prior to that, though, I kept finding awful piano teachers and my son was just not progressing even though he is very musical (he's in band too and plays the trombone). Having a great teacher for 3 years has made all the difference. Keep searching - I'm sure you'll find someone good in the end - Alison

I'd talk to the coach. Tell him your son is REALLY interested in TKD and wants to compete, is there anything else he can do in class to push him, or maybe some extra attention. Keep it upbeat and light. If you don't find the teacher willing to do that, or not following through, then find a new one. I feel its important to address issues and give people a chance to change.

I was in Tai Kwon Do for many years and, regrettably, for personal reasons, had to leave the school at a time when I was preparing to test for my brown belt. My son was, at the same time readying to test for his black belt. I have, for many ... many years, missed the participation and the training of body and mind. For Christmas last year, I gave my son a two-year program at a school which teaches a mixed martial arts program - No, not MMA competition training (though they teach that, too) but a combination of disciplines from karate, tkd, jiu jitsu, and others you may or may not have heard of. As a treat, and because he gave me a 2-4-1 (and free uniform) deal I could not refuse, I enrolled as well.

The head master and owner of the school is a martial artist in multiple disciplines, has been teaching for 40 years, and is in the Karate-Martial Arts Hall of Fame. Can't beat that for a deep well of knowledge! He is a patient and understanding teacher and an incredible father figure to all of his younger students, and often talks to them about their school work. He has even been known to comment to a student that their school work is just as important as their martial arts studies. He encourages them and asks them about their grades and their relationships at school. He also constantly reminds them that martial arts is for self-defense and not for them to take to the playground and conquer the school bully by becoming the next school bully.

How familiar are you with Tai Kwon Do and martial arts in general? Many schools have different approaches and most especially for younger children? How long has your son been in this class/school? Is it possible your son's instructor is just trying to get a feel for his students' mobility and degree of maturity before he delves into more seriuos martial arts? Perhaps he is just trying to ensure all of his students are limber enough before he starts putting them into a more structured program. Some schools have a set schedule where, from this grade to the next is X months/weeks/etc. and they will essentially "sell" you a black belt in however long. Other schools, like my current one, have set schedules for testing - once a month - but YOU are the one who decides when you feel you are ready to test for the next grade.

Go to your son's sinsei/instructor, preferably after class some night when you can be reasonably sure he'll have the time to talk, and ask him if he's got a few minutes to talk to you about the class and your son's progress. Explain to him your (and your son's) concerns about the progress he is (or is not) making. Ask him if there is a more focused class to which he might be switched. Although it is something that probably should have been addressed before you enrolled your son in the classes, you might want to talk to parents of other, slightly higher ranking students about their feelings on the subject.

The important thing is to not go into this as a confrontation. You are only seeking to be educated and become better informed about what your son is learning and doing in class. Convey to the instructor your son's desires and expectations as com0pared to the instructor's expectations. What kind of timeframe might you expect for learning forms or stages of forms? What kind of time frame does he average for testing for the next belt. And be aware, too, in a "good" school, just because he is testing for advancement, does not mean he will achieve his target. He will be judged and, if he does not appear ready, he will not be promoted. Also, you need to understand that you have two roads you can follow. One road will target getting the black belt. The other will focus on the learning that belt signifies. Don't be over anxious to move him through the stages. Remember, it is not the color of the belt that is important but the degree and type of physical and mental learning he achieves.

I have seen an orange belt from one school who can outspar and out-perform a brown belt (3 grades higher (or 6 in some schools)) from a karate mill.

Discipline, respect for self, respect for others, coordination, mental as well as physical agility, self-confidence. These are the types of things you need to focus on. If, after conferring with his instructor, you do not believe your son can achieve these goals at his present school, it may be time to look into another school ... and research it more carefully But make sure you have a clear concept of just exactly what you want your son to take away from this school and his lessons.

Good luck. Keep me posted.

Privately discuss the matter with the instructor. The school may have additional classes better suited for your son. Simply explain what your son's (and your) expectations are and see what they can offer. If that doesn't work, make visits to other TKD facilities in your area. Most schools will provide 1 to 3 visits free of charge in hopes of earning your business. Our son is a 2nd degree black belt, is 15 years old and had been doing TKD since he was 11. His first school was very strict during instruction and competition times but also had fun times for the kids. We moved out of state and found a new school which was nice but not as driven as we preferred. He is now at a school which is fantastic, very competitive but balanced with fun for the younger kids.

Also, as your son moves up in rank he will do more sparring. They usually focus on form and technique in the beginning. Once he reaches a certain rank, he may be eligible to move into a more advanced class where the age group might be a little more mature and focused. All instructors I've observed have cautioned advance-ranked students to control punches and kicks when sparring lower-ranked or younger opponents. Be sure to verify this with the instructor and/or stay and watch to confirm.

My son was in TKD. There were several different classes. The regular 2 days a week classes were situps, jumping jacks, questions about right/wrong, being a good member of society, etc. They also had them buy the sparring gloves, pads, and nunchuks. They'd haul them to class and never use them. When we asked about it, the instructor said that it depended on which kids showed up, how many, etc. They did have a special 1 hour session every week that was speciifically marked as 'sparring' and there they did wear all the gear, sweat it out, etc. The class was designated as 6y+. So even though there were kids that were 5 and they were allowed to by the gloves and gear, they weren't allowed in the sparring class.
So my suggestion is to first see if there are different classes that are available but your son isn't aware of it. Then, if there are still questions, I would talk to the instructor about your concerns. They should be welcoming at answering any questions that you as the parent may have.
One quick note: my son was ALL about the sparring, couldn't wait to get to class, put the gear on, etc. but after the first class when he pulled the sweaty head gear off. Ugh!! I became of fan of NOT sparring. When he does start sparring, be sure to include a towel, DEODORANT, extra clothes, a dirty clothes bag, and some lysol wipes in his gear bag!!

M.

I would pull him and put him in a different program. Chances are you aren't going to get the coach to teach differently. I would try to find a coach who shares your beliefs about how the class should progress. Good luck. I hope you are able to find a program/coach that you and your son are both happy with. :-)

Change school. There are plenty of good TKD programs out there. Definitely through district rec centers and programs. Down this way in Highland is Renaissance karate, which is TKD, and all three of my sons are 2nd degree black belts. They've competed in AAU competitions, USTL competitions. Board breaking is the favorite of a couple of them, but sparring is definitely a part of the itinerary.
But the instructor is wasting precious time. Maybe he isn't all that great with younger kids. In our program with Renaissance, the head instructor uses his red through black belts to assist in classes. Break down the class, assign so and so whichever group to work with. And at some point, it's time to get geared up for sparring. At white with yellow stripes level, kids are being introduced to sparring gear and sparring. Half way through to black belt, the instructor expects to see students more than once per week training. He has classes in South Lyon, Northville, Avondale, and there's a tournament coming up March 27. In Lake Orion area. Good time to meet some of the other parents and the instructor in Renaissance, compete, win, have a good time. Let me know if you want further info. I help out Tuesdays and Wednesdays since my kids have been students (now in the air force, living out of state, or going to school) and it keeps me connected with some good people.
Kids that really enjoy the sport have more focus. Encourage him for that, ask him what HE thinks should happen, mention the up coming tournament, and take it from there.

Maybe go to the coach and instead of saying you don't like the way he's running the class, say that your son would like to compete more and how can you go about doing that? Talk about how your son wants to progress and go to more tournaments. That's really the concern, right? That way you aren't challenging the coach, you're just concerned for your son.