7 Week Old Son Starts Randomly Crying and Wont Fall Asleep Without Me

Updated on February 26, 2008
K.B. asks from Upland, CA
60 answers

Hey all, my 7 week old son willrandomly start crying around 10 or 11 every night this past week. Usually he's a great baby we've never had any problems with crying but lately he has been crying for no apparant reason every night around the same time. I'll have to hold himfor about 15 mins thenhe calms down and falls asleep in my arms but as soon as i lay him down in the crib he wakes up and is cring again. My husband wants to just let him cry himself to sleep but i think he's to youg to do that and it breaks my heart to see him cry and know i cant do anything about it. Any ideas on what is happening or what to do?

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C.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

Try putting him to bed earlier. It sounds like he is overtired. A great book about the biological sleep needs of babies is Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth.

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M.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

K.,

First off congratulations on your new baby! Second, we all know how you feel, we've been there. You will get many different responses on this subject as we all tend to do what works best for our family. My kids are 5 and almost 3, neither would sleep without the help from me and neither one ever had to cry it out. It just didn't feel right to me. Your baby is so young. He just spent 9 mos in your warm, comfortable womb and now he is expected to just know what to do on his own. Babies need the warmth and touch of their Mom and Dad. At this age, they need help getting to sleep. Yes, some folks out there will train there baby to sleep by leaving them to cry it out but that does nothing more than teach the baby that eventually, no one will repsond so why bother crying anymore. There are great resources out there to help you out during this time. One website that I found very useful was www.askdrsears.com, click on the sleep link or just click on the following: http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070200.asp
If that doesn't work, just go to the site and you can read what they say about babies sleep habits, etc..Some good books are, The Sleep Book and The Baby Book both by Dr. Sears, also the No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley.

Could your son still be hungry? You didn't say how often he is getting up and what time he ate last before getting up at 10 or 11. Both of mine were breastfed and woke up at least every hour or hour and a half to eat at this age. This is why I just kept them in bed with me.

Hopefully you'll get a lot of good responses out there from the other parents on this board. Read them all and take what you want from each. Every baby is so different and when they are little they change so much so fast.

Again, congratulations and enjoy your new little guy!
M.

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S.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi K.,
I hear your pain. Keep in mind that the first two-three months of life are super tough for you and your little one. I have a 5 month old and just went through this. I agree that your son is too young to be cried out. Right now, he needs the security of his family around him as he adjusts to his new surroundings. He will become more secure if he knows that you are there to comfort him and eventually you will be able to put him down with no trouble at all. In hind sight, 15 minutes of holding and soothing your baby is not a long time at all. And little babies need holding and comfort. Afterall, your baby just left a warm secure place inside you to another strange world. My advise would be wait 20 mintues AFTER he falls asleep to put him down to assure that he is in a deep sleep. Take time in these moments. They are fast and fleating and soon he will be off and crawling and won't need you to hold him anymore. I hope this helps.

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D.T.

answers from San Francisco on

K.,
My advice is to HOLD HIM and let him sleep in your arms or with you. He is so young and what may seem like no reason to you, could be that he wants to be held by his mother. He doesn't know that he is a separate being from you and wants to be with you. I think 7 weeks is too young to be in a big crib all alone. Why not try a co-sleeper that attaches to your bed. Then you'll all get some sleep.

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C.A.

answers from San Diego on

Dear new mom,

Follow your instincts as a mom. having raised 3 children who are all now in their 30's I feel qualified to tell you that your children's infancy goes in a flash ( even though it seems eternal now ) and you REALLY can't spoil them by holding them. Maybe he needs an additional feeding. If you nurse, leave him in bed with you for a while. That won't hurt him either , I kept my kids close for the first 3 months and they are all very well adjusted people. Anyway good luck - try to relax and enjoy this time. P.s. the housework will wait and your really don't have anything BETTER to be doing.

Grandmother of 5

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S.C.

answers from San Diego on

K.
I wouldnt get too worried, hes only 7 wks and maybe not used to life outside the womb. My son did this for short periods of time when he was first born as well. Personally I would NEVER leave my 7wk old baby to cry himslf to sleep, he does not understand day/night patterns yet and will certainly just feel abandoned. He may be hungry, cold, uncomfortable, lonely, you just cant tell. I think you are doing the best thing for everyone by holding and comforting him. Others may vehemently disagree but it may be easier on both of you to sleep with him. Regardless, it is most likely just a phase that will pass in a relatively short time. Hope that helps.

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R.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

After six months of being awakened during the night every 2-4 hours by our infant daughter, my husband and I tried a version of the “cry it out” (CIO) method but quickly abandoned it as unnatural. It is extremely normal and common for a baby as young as yours to cry and want to sleep with you. Perhaps the following message from Dr. Jay Gordon, a renowned pediatrician who supports co-sleeping, breastfeeding, etc. -- will resonate with you as it did with us...

“We have been sold an illogical unloving point of view about infant and
 toddler sleep by people wanting to sell books and services... authors willing to offer parents an easier way at the expense of well-loved babies. Moms get sick and families sometimes need to engage in the gentlest "cry it out" plans possible (especially with more than one child dependent on mom and dad's alertness.) I tell new parents to use patterns and routines and rituals to lead to gradual changes in sleep.

Do babies cry? Yes. Do authors lie? Yes.

If emergency or urgent health and family problems necessitate sleep 
changes, no one should judge you. Obviously. I certainly have seen parents' health and marriages suffer because of babies' sleep patterns. I work as hard as I can to minimize this and to help both parents understand the developmental issues involved and reasonable physiological and psychological expectations.

Yes, babies can sleep twelve straight hours without food or contact. Is
this the best thing for a baby? Almost never. The reason that books and videos sell so well and the reason that some pediatric visits are so long and hard is that there are no easy answers and no easy way to uninterrupted sleep.

Uninterrupted sleep is unsafe for babies...

Please consider buying Dr. James McKenna's new book and also have a 
look at his website.
http://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab
also his article:
http://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/articles/McKenna_why%20ba...
("Why babies should never sleep alone: A review of the co-sleeping
controversy in relation to SIDS, bedsharing and breast feeding"
Journal of PAEDIATRIC RESPIRATORY REVIEWS (2005) 6, 134 152)

This paper is worth your time.”
Dr. Jay Gordon
http://www.drjaygordon.com

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L.A.

answers from San Diego on

It is absolutely normal. Babies were not meant to fall asleep in a crib away from their mom. I am a mom of four and a grandma, too. Don't let that baby cry. Your husband is way off on this one. Your baby needs you. You said you "have" to hold him for 15 minutes for him to go to sleep. WRONG! You get to hold him. Think of holding him as a joy, not a chore.. Don't try to change your baby's natural instinct to want to be close to you, his mother. Change your attitude and everything will be great. You will spend long hours in the future longing for the days you are living right now. Enjoy your sweet little angel. He will be a sullen teenager before you know what hit you.

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R.Z.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi K.:
Congrats on your son! I am also a first-time Mom to an almost 3-month old, dreading having to go back to work! My daughter did something similar, just before she turned 8 weeks. Just after she turned 7 weeks, she slept through the night for the first time on her own little mattress that we have in our bed for her, from 10PM to 5AM. Now, she goes to sleep anywhere between 9-11PM and most nights, will sleep until 5-7AM. She may wake up about 2 nights out of a week, between 2-4AM for a change and feed, then will wake up around 6-8AM. So, try to stick it out - it does get better and I hope that he starts sleeping better. My husband and I tried the "cry it out" method and neither of us was okay with it.
GOOD LUCK!

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A.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

K.,
Crying is the only way babies that young know how to communicate so it's up to you as his mom to figure out what the crying means. DO NOT let him cry it out at this age. You will only teach him that the world is not a safe place and his needs will not be met. I would highly recommend The Baby Book by William Sears and The Happiest Baby On The Block by Harvey Karp (rent the DVD it's faster to get through). Dr. Karp refers to the first 3 months of life as the "fourth trimester" - it is our job as parents to meet our babies needs as much as humanly possible for those three months (and after as well). You CANNOT spoil a baby at this age. Repeat, CANNOT. Imagine coming from a place where all his needs were met without his asking for 9 months and then being expected to meet his own needs (self-soothe) - it's impossible and cruel to expect it. (I know you're not). He may or may not be hungry, he may need to "comfort nurse", he might need a diaper change, have gas bubbles, be scared who knows...be there for him. He might need to sleep close to you - in bed with you (which can be done safely) or in a co-sleeper or bassinette.
Good luck, congratulations and ENJOY every moment - it goes so fast.
A.
PS. I have a MA in Psychology and a 6 month old daughter so I speak from both places.

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K.H.

answers from San Diego on

This is normal. A newborn can NOT be spoiled. He is crying because he needs something and most likely it is you. Remember all he knows is what was happening in the womb-he was cuddled and fed constantly. Try swaddling him and reading(there is a DVD as well) The Happiest Baby on the Block. Also try a mommy-bear, it imitates the sounds of the womb.
He is way too young to cry it out! His sleep patterns will change throughout the first year so what works now may not work at 5 months. :)
When our daughter was that little we found that the procedure in the Book was exactly what she needed. She is 17 months now sleeps like a champ.
Good luck and hope this helped.

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C.W.

answers from San Diego on

he is too young to let him "cry it out." but dont wait for him to fall asleep before putting him in the crib. put him in while he is still drowsy. in regards to the cying, it oculd be a number of things. however, if he is fed, you know he isnt hungry. feel his diaper and change him if he is wet (keep the lights low and no talking at night time...it is not playtime). if he is not nhungry or wet, then he might have a little burp. try burping him for about 5 minutes. and dont be afraid to give him a nice wollup. pat him like you'd pat your dog. they are strong little ones and they need that burp out. also, use mylicon anti-gas drops at the end of each feeding. especially those at night. it will help any bubbles in his stomach. hope this helps. if it doesnt, just remember he is only 7 weeks old and is used to being held, rocked, and fed 24/7 by your womb. he just misses that comfort.

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L.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi K. my name is La Tonya I understand what your going through I have 22 year old twins I have a girl and boy they were born febuary 15, 1985 my daughter had the same crying spell they were both premie babies and she cried all the time and I didn't know what too do I thought something was wrong with her I didn't know what too do so I took her too the doctor and he told me too wrap her tight in a blanket as if she was still in the womb so what he did was fold her arms on top of her chest took one side of the blanketand covered her arms and then covered her feet and then took the rest of the blanket and wraped it around her and she quickly stopped crying and he told me too do this until she stopped crying completly and it worked for me very well so K. I hope this works for you also but you have too do this all day and night and every day please keep in touch

La Tonya

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B.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

Whatever you do, PLEASE do not let your baby cry himself to sleep. I'm not an advocate of babies crying themselves to sleep at any age, but this is waaaaaaaaaay too young. You want your brand new baby to know that his loving parents will respond to his needs and not leave him to cry his eyes out, right? Well, then do just that - respond to his needs - and remember, to babies (especially this young) everything is a need. They are not manipulative like some insensitive people would have you believe.

And, it is totally normal for babies this age to get a little cranky before going to sleep. The fact that you can hold him and in 15 minutes he falls asleep says it all - that's what he needs. And, it is totally normal for babies this age (and of all ages, actually) to wake up and cry when put down in a crib. Think about it - if you were a new, helpless baby and you were in the warm, loving hands of your mama, you probably wouldn't want to be put down in an empty crib to sleep alone either. How do you feel about letting the baby sleep in your arms (or a sling, or on Dad's chest...) until you are ready to go to bed and then letting the baby sleep next to you in bed? We have slept with our son (who is now 13-months-old) since the day he was born and I would never do it differently. It has been such a wonderful bonding for us and out little guy is so grounded and calm and has a wonderful relationship with sleep. It might be worth just trying it a few nights and see if things get better. Maybe if your baby knows that he will get to be in bed next to his sweet mama, he won't cry when it's bedtime. Anything's worth a try!

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B.F.

answers from San Diego on

Hi, This is about the time to let little ones start putting themselves to sleep. There are several methods for doing this, all similar. Ferber is probably the most well known. It only takes a night or two and is soooo worth it. And here's a tip. When you are letting him cry for a few minutes, it helps to think of something else...put your energy elsewhere. I always sing to myself. Keeps my spirits up, my energy calm, and my mind occupied! Good luck! Grams

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K.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hello K.,

It seems to be normal, babies usually change their sleeping patterns around this stage. Maybe he's cold, blanket's don't compare to mommy's body heat. My daughter started waking up more often at night with the cold weather, I finally laid her between my husband and I and she's been sleeping really good.

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D.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

A couple things, yes, he is too young to fall asleep crying. That, according to Dr. Ferber, author of "Solving your childrens sleep problems" even says not to attmept ferberization, the act of helping your child self soothe, should not begin until a few months of age, because they need all the milk they can get. So is he hungry, have you tried feeding him? I know that at two months they go through a growth spurt and need the calories. Good book by the way, it helped me tremoundously.I highly suggest getting the book, I too am a first time mommy of a wonderful little month old little angel, and get to stay at home too. This book has made my life so much easier..its the best 30.00dollars you'll ever spend.

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B.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

It's probably colic- unless he's spitting up a lot or crying all the time I wouldn't worry about reflux. Try reading the Happiest Baby on the Block- I totally agree with Dr. Karp that colic is NOT a digestive issue, that it has more to do with overstimulation and the baby not being mentally or emotionally ready to be outside of the womb. I also liked the Baby Whisperer.

And one thing that might help that I could NOT have survived without- Swaddleme baby wraps! They hold baby all tight and cozy so they can't startle themselves awake- explains it more in The Happiest Baby. Good luck! I had the world's most colicy baby (she screamed from 4p to about 10p every day for weeks) so I feel your pain!

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K.N.

answers from Los Angeles on

First, check to be sure your son doesn't have something medically wrong. Take him in for a check-up. If everything checks out OK, try feeding him. Babies do go through their first growth spurt between 6-7 weeks. You can also try swaddling. My 15 month old daughter wouldn't sleep well at night without being swaddled. Try the SwaddleMe or Miracle Blanket if you find swaddling helps. They're both great products.

Good luck, and try to remember "this too shall pass."

-K.

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S.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hello K., My daughter just had a son 5 months ago, she went through the same thing. What we did was exactly the same thing... pick him up and cuddle him until he went back to sleep and then put him in his swing to continue to sleep. We finally tried patting him on the bottom while he was still laying in the crib, sometimes he would go back to sleep. But usually, he wanted food and to be held... There is nothing wrong with that.. all the things i have read state when the baby needs loving give it to them... One other thing, we put a heater in his room that made noise and that seemed to sooth him so he would sleep all night... Most babies wake up every 2 hours for feeding so it is pretty normal.... GOOD LUCK - New Grandma... :)

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D.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

7 weeks is absolutely too young to ignore crying; husband is not-the-mom for a reason. Baby is growing really fast now and may require feeding every 3 to 4 hours or so. My kids didn't sleep through the night until almost 6 months. You will get really really tired out by then. Try to catch a nap when he does (not do chores or housework) Check out this article http://kidshealth.org/parent/growth/sleep/sleepnewborn.html

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S.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I have the same problem with my 5 1/2 week old son. The solution I found is I just let him sleep in bed next to us. That way I still get some sleep. My husband complains about it, but not too much because I just point out that he is not the one waking up with him in the middle of the night. Oh, and DO NOT let him cry it out. He is way too young for that. I used to be a pre-school teacher before I had my baby and studied child development in college. Anyway if you let him cry like that for too long at this early of an age it can do more harm than good. my husband said the same thing, but I told him I wouldn't do it because it wasn't good for our baby.

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T.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

"Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child", by Dr. Weissbluth
That is totally normal and that book will help you navigate through it cause its going to last for a few weeks and get worse before it gets better. This book is my baby bible.

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C.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Have you considered reflux? Try elevating one side of the mattress a couple of inches and have your baby sleep on the incline.

The idea I've always had since Rachel was born is that all she needs is her mama. If she was happy with me and not happy without me, then she would be with me. We co-slept.

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K.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi K.,
Your husband is right. The second you gave birth to your son, he starts working you. It will be hard, but just let him cry. You can go into his room every 10 minutes, and tell him everything is okay, but do not pick him up, or touch him. You also can lay down on his floor, and do not give eye contact, or touch him. It's will only be a few days you will have to do this. He knows your going to hold him, this is why he cry's. They learn very young! Nobody has died from crying.
Kim
Mother of 2 boys

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E.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi,I think what you need to do is use a Therapy like playing some soft music above his head, most infant like that. Try to find his comfortable position, maybe you may need to use a cradle......good luck

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H.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

Up until now you've been experiencing what I like to call the honeymoon period! They pretty much sleep great and all of the time! Infact, I think they sleep more hours than they are awake! Anyway, your child is just starting to come into his own and is probably developing his own schedule. Try to make sure you don't let him sleep too much during the day and that should ease up on the 11pm wake ups. Also, I always did baths at night, seemed to help establish a pattern for them-eat, bath, and bed. Also, I let my daughter cry it out fairly early after hours of sleeping in my bed and nursing whenever she wanted! I finally couldn't take it anymore and started letting her cry it out at about 2 months. I went in to sooth her (pat her back) and eventually she went back to sleep. It was the BEST thing I could've EVER done. We've many many years of happy sleeping since! When all is said and done just remember this-just when you think you have a figured out IT'LL CHANGE! Don't be frustrated, just roll with it and it'll all be fine!

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C.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

My first daughter was like that when she was a baby. She cried a lot for no obvious reason. Seemed like she always wanted to be held. My parents, growing up in the 50's, were told that you should let the babies learn to fall asleep by themselves. My husband and I tried that on a few occasions to no avail. My daughter would scream for what felt like hours and at the end of it I would be crying too. I decided that if it felt so bad to do this, why do it? Infants need the security of their parents.
If you're not already, try using a baby sling. There are several types out on the market. Try on different ones to see which is suitable for you. You'll be able to use both your hands and baby will be snuggled up next to you feeling safe and secure.

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A.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi K.,

I'm sure you love your son and I'm sure he loves you just as well but he is already getting his way. Babies are very smart. He knows your scent, heart rate, voice an even your breathing pattern. That is what he is used to having since he was in your womb. You do need to let him cry. It's healthy and in a way and he is already experiencing separation anxiety. Keep his room dark, try swaddleing, and maybe a little music in the background when you are going to put him down. If you and your loved ones that are around him, have also always been holding him, you kind of spoiled him. :) We all love to hold babies but if you are going to want to be able to sleep later on and have him sleep in his own crib,room, or bed, you need to start working on it now. It might take a few days or upto two weeks for him to get used to it. I know it's heart breaking but you have to start tough love soon for your own peace of mind and your marriage. Sometimes, men are not the best to get advice from, but your husband is right.:) Please do have your baby checked for possible ear infection or digestive issues too.

Hope this helps ; )

A.

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A.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

K.,
Our 10 month old did that too. Their sleep patterns seem to change just when you think they're set. I just put her in bed with us until this stage passed. Every time she got up it was after a longer period of time on her own. Seven weeks is still pretty tiny he just wants you. If you're worried about him getting used to sleeping with you don't at this stage you can't hold him enough. Sophie still wants a little comfort every once in awhile but she'd really rather be in her crib for sleeping. Relax and Cheers!

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J.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

Sounds like he is just lonely and wants his mama! My little girl does the same thing, she is also 7 weeks old. My hubby says she is spoiled on being held, but they should be!! : ) I think it is too young to let them cry as well. Alot of people have different opinions on this, but I believe it creates a more secure baby when you hold them alot, not a spoiled one. Here is what I do now instead of picking her up. I just go to her bassinet and I cup her face in one hand and I rub her head with my other one until she falls asleep. That way she can see, hear and smell me while she falls asleep and I don't have to pick her up. It helped me because she would also wake up when I would set her down and start crying. This way she falls asleep and she stays where she is and so there is no risk of her waking. Just gently slip away when he falls asleep. I gently stroke her forehead and over her eyes sometimes if she is fighting sleep. Hope this helps, good luck.

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D.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi K.!! This is what worked for me with one of my kids when they were babies, I have 3, put a radio in the nursery on soft music or classical. Sometimes babies wake up and like to hear that they are not alone and the music is soothing and it is a familiar noise that they love to hear. I had clock radios in all my kids rooms until they didn't need it anymore. another thing that I did is if you are nursing, try putting one of your night shirts in the babys bed, babies are all about smells and sounds and if your baby can smell you, sometimes that can be a comfort to them. If you are like me, your sleep is very important. Just know that you are a great mom and you are doing the best that you can and this day shall pass. Good Luck and many blessings!! Deb

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R.O.

answers from Santa Barbara on

I agree with you on not letting such a little one cry. It will bet better. It is hard to be a baby. I recieved good advice, to be sure your baby is sound asleep, check the arm. lift it up, and see if it drops. If baby is not sound asleep, he will not be totally floppy. If he uses his muscles, he is not ready to be put down. Also, go slowly. place his hips first.....then shoulders.....then once placing head, keep skin contact on him as much as possible before letting go.

Best of luck, you know what to do inside.

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L.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi K.,

First of all, congratulations on your new baby! I think it's wonderful that you are able to stay home with him. Enjoy every second of your time with him. My biggest heartbreak is that I am unable to have babies of my own because I adore them so.

Re your little guy's crying....while I'm very sure that he loves for you to be near him as he drifts off to dreamland, he may need a little something in his tummy to help him stay asleep. Here's what my mom did for my brother and I so we would sleep through the night when we were very young. She was a single mom with 2 babies (13 mo's apart) and she could ill afford two babies waking up crying all hours of the night - she needed her rest for the 9 - 5 job she had to protect. Her secret weapon? We were literally just a few weeks old when she came up with the idea of putting a little bit of formula in a saucer (not a bowl) and she sprinkled a little bit of pablum into it, mixed it up, and gave us each a tiny spoonful or two followed with a little bottle of milk. Just a little something in our tummies so that we slept through the night without waking up. And it worked like a charm. This certainly is not a typical solution to a dilema like yours, but it definitely worked for us without any ill effects. And, as said, we were both under a month old when mom used this method. As you may know already, 3 times usually turns into a habit with little ones - in this case, the habit would be your little guy sleeping through the night and not the impromptu feedings. ....just a suggestion for you. Good luck and have lots of fun with him, K.!

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N.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Wrap him snugly in a blanket hold him until he falls asleep and then place him in his crib with another blanket rolled up behind and in front of him and see if that works. Try to warm up the sheet in the crib before you lay him down, just rub your hands on the sheet until it is warm and that also helps.

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A.J.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hey K.,
It's such a hard thing!! I went through the same thing!! The first thing that we did was put my bobby under her mattress where her head was. Her ped. suggested the incline. My 11 week old's crib is in our room (long story but no where else to put it) When she wakes up I have stood and patted her in time to whatever lullabye I was singing at the time. Also I put a mobile up right over her head. She loves her little friends. So I would do that until she was asleep. Lately though she's still been waking up when I get away. So I sing to her in my bed while she's in her bed. That seems to work. I think that she just gets bored and wants to play. That's my theory at least!! I hope this helps!!

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

I totally sympathize with you. Take heart though... nothing is wrong with your baby,and please explain this to Hubby. Sleep patterns are NOT "static" and they are NOT set in stone. Remember that babies are constantly changing and developing.. physically and cognitively.... thus, they will go through times of difficultly sleeping. Think about it.. as an adult.... have you or your husband had the SAME sleep patterns now as you did as a baby? Even adults get bouts of insomnia or difficulty sleeping for any reason, and sometimes no reason at all. Same with babies. My personal opinion is 7-weeks is too young to just let him "cry it out." You want to provide your baby with the realization that they are "safe" and will be "comforted" by their Parent.. and that they can rely on you. They need security. Just think, you son is just out of the womb.... and in our world now.... it's a lot to adjust to. Their bodies, internally, are changing as well and still forming. Even their digestive system is NOT completely formed yet etc. Go with your gut... each Mom is different and has different approaches. You sound like you are doing a great job... don't be too hard on yourself... or your son's. You are simply learning "together" and learning about each other... it's only been 7 weeks. They will only be babies for a short time.... cherish that and enjoy it, and share that with Hubby. They grow up all too quickly.
Good luck and take care,
~Susan
www.cafepress.com/littlegoogoo

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D.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

My first reaction is that he hungry. My daughter ate every night at that time. She would also cry if i laid her down and she was hungry. It was her sign of "feed me".

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B.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Could be his Teeth or and ear infection. Take him to the Doctor to be sure. (he is not too young to "let cry" but make sure its not something else fist) Good Luck.

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K.I.

answers from San Diego on

At this age, you definitely should go to him and not let him cry it out...even the toughest of doctors will tell you that you shouldn't try and do any sleep training until 4-6 months of age. He may be going through a growth spurt, or just may want to be cuddled. After you go to him and he falls asleep again, wait about 15-20 minutes before laying him down again...you have to get them through that first sleep cycle where they aren't so easily startled awake. You can tell when their breathing gets slower and more shallow and they don't feel as tense. Also, another trick that worked for us is putting a heating pad down on the sheet and warming it up until just right before you lay him back down again. That way the cold sheet doesn't startle him after being in your warm arms. A really tight swaddle works really well at this age too...I swear by the Miracle Blanket which can be ordered online. If you continue to have problems, try reading The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley.
Good luck!

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G.O.

answers from Los Angeles on

My daughter from the beginning always woke up at that time and she would nurse a little bit and then go back to sleep. It was not until 3 months that we started putting her in the bassinette and eventually the crib. I think he's pretty young still to be letting him cry himself to sleep.

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H.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi K.,
I have an 8 week old so I completely feel your concern. My suggestion is buy the book "Baby Wise" and "Best Baby on the Block DVD". They have really helped my husband and I. There is a chapter in the book about baby cries. It does suggest to let your baby cry if you're lying them down for a nap or bedtime. Monitor the cry for 10 to 35 min. (I know it breaks your heart but this is to help teach them & help them have a good sleep pattern) as long as you know he is alright; diaper dry, he's not wet from spit up, he's warm, etc. then they say to let them cry to sooth themselves to sleep. The book is great. I got mine on www.half.com
Good luck!

A little about me:
Stay at home 1st time mom of 8 week old girl.

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M.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi, from what I've read, babies can go through a fussy period at 6 weeks. My suggestion is that you swaddle your baby (if you aren't or if you've stopped. Even if you never have, start swaddling NOW. When your baby starts crying or fussing, swaddle your baby and rock them, standing up, and loudly shhhh in their ear. give them a pacifier at the same time. this should sooth them to sleep.

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K.R.

answers from San Diego on

If he is bottle fed it could be gass. Try adding Mylacon drops to the formula before you give him the bottle. If on the breast put some on your nipple before he latches it will help with any air swallowed. Hope it helps. Krissy

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V.G.

answers from San Diego on

Hi,
I went through the same exact problem 18 years ago with my daughter. My husband and I took her to the doctor and guess what the advice was... Make sure the baby have a good dinner,clean diaper, comfortable clothing.Say your goodnight,kisses and hugs or read one book.When all this is over tell him that you are going to bed too. He will then start screaming that will last for over an hour for the first 3 days if you are consistent the 4th day he will just lay on his bed quitely and go to sleep. Believe me he will get so tired from crying and will eventually go to sleep. His crying will make you cry but that's normal. The doctor also said that no baby will continously cry for an hour. Goodluck.
about me: i have a 18 and 16 yrs. old kids girl and boy

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L.E.

answers from Los Angeles on

I wouldn't let him cry it out, hes too young. Maybe he just wants his mommy or daddy at that time. Life is so new and scary to him. Are his feedings right before or a little before he cries? Is he on formula maybe the formula needs to be changed? Or if your breast feeding are you eating something for dinner that gets past on and can be bothering him? Do you have a tea or caffeine or hot chocolate right before his feeding around that time? your dinner may cause a tummy ache or amp him up? If you are on a schedule Maybe his body is starting a schedule, and that is the time he needs to poop. Does he poop around that time? There are so many things it could be. Maybe he can feel anxiety from you because its bed time and you are afraid you wont get sleep. Or you are trying to hurry and put him to sleep because you want sleep yourself and he can sense that anxiety. Its hard, don't worry. Just hold him a little extra at night if he needs it because before you know it he'll be 19 and moving out of the house like my oldest. Hes 7 weeks old, hold him a little extra for right now.

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L.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

I agree that he's too little to let him cry it out. The Baby Whisperer book helped us a lot to deal with crying and help our son fall asleep in his crib on his own. Worth reading for sure.

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B.E.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi K. - It must be so hard for you to see your son crying like that! You have a lot of advice already but I thought I'd throw in my two cents anyway. I'm sure you know that babies cry for a reason. There is always something that they need. Crying is their only way of informing you that they aren't feeling ok. Hunger, gas, wet or poopy diaper... your baby is too young to be spoiled and his needs are very basic.

Colic would be the only thing that is difficult to resolve but the doctor can tell you if that is what is troubling your son.

The best soothers for my son have been mylicon (gas drops - his pediatrician said they are harmless he takes .4 on the dropper), warm bath or me singing to him. The singing thing happens when I can't hold him because we're in the car. Breastfeeding was my simple go-to solution but my husband found out early on that the bath works wonders. Good luck to you - I hope this helps!

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C.T.

answers from Los Angeles on

Well K., are you breastfeeding? All your son may want is to be close to you.

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L.C.

answers from San Diego on

Hello! Hang in there! It gets better!

I know you've already received a lot of responses, but I noticed that no one seems to be talking about colic. "Colic" is a term that the medical profession has given a mysterious and common set of symptoms that many babies get. It often begins at about 7 weeks of age and continues until approximately 3 months of age. It's very common. My daughter was about 7 weeks old when she want from a mellow, easy baby to one who would begin crying at about 9pm and just be inconsolable for about 2 hours, when she would finally fall asleep.

A VERY helpful book/DVD for this is The Happiest Baby on the Block. The author has his own theories about what causes colic, and many very helpful solutions. Elizabeth Pantley's No-Cry Sleep Solution is also great.

What helped my daughter was this routine:
at about 8 or 8:30, just before "the witching hour" when she would start to cry, we would bundle her up and put her into the sling or the Baby Bjorn. Then we would put an extra blanket over her (as it was quite cold) and go for a long walk. Being held, being in motion and being outdoors was the magic combination for her. It seemed to pre-empt the crying very consistently. Other people find that swaddling or swinging or music helps their little one. The two books I mentioned will both walk you through steps to figure out what works best for your son.

PLEASE follow your instinct to comfort your baby when he cries. As several people have already pointed out, at 7 weeks old he is just communicating with you in the only way he knows how- crying. He is not manipulating you. You will not spoil him by showing that you care if he's miserable! Just imagine how you, an adult with a good understanding of life, would feel if you were sobbing and crying and the people you loved didn't try to comfort you. A tiny baby has no way of understanding "tough love". It just teaches him that he cannot trust his family or the world to care when he's in distress. Does a 7-week old really need to learn that?

Good luck, and just remember, it won't be like this forever!

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J.S.

answers from San Diego on

Have you tried elevating the crib mattress where his head is? My son had acid reflux and would cry and grunt starting at 4am for 1 month. Another trick (from doctor) was to give a small amount (1/2 tsp with syringe) of Malox to calm the stomach - or try Gripe water (herbal remedy for gas, acid reflux, etc).

J.

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T.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

He is definitely too young to fall asleep by crying. Many babies have a time in the day, where they just hit a peak in their ability to tolerate the stimulus of their day. His only way of communicating is by crying. I'm sure he is not saying, "please put me in my bed so I can feel alone".

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A.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi K.;

Are you breastfeeding your son? He still young to understand about the separation, maybe you needed to have his crib in your bedroom until he is old enough to separate from your room. I done breastfeeding my 4 children and after a year old, I moved their crib to their designated room. Maybe your son wanted to be cuddle and rock before putting to bed. Also does he eat regularly on time. Sometime they're hungry or else check his diaper, if his diaper is okay, then maybe he is cold and wanted your warm body to feel safe and secure. If this problem happen again almost everyday, please call your pedetrician doctor and see her/him to check why he cries so much. Also it is not good to have your baby son cries at night because he will have stomach pain because of gas or air, but in the morning, the doctor said it is okay to let the baby cried every morning because it is an exercise with their lung. Good luck.

A.

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L.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

At 7 weeks, he's just starting to 'wake up' and figure out that he's out of the womb! So in a way - it means that everything is well with him. We mothers are so finely tuned into our kids that every little peep tends to freak us out - you're probably tired from little sleep and wired from caring for this new little joy. Husbands can be wise - sometimes they aren't wrong. I know that I made a big mistake with my first child by picking her up with every sound, and never letting her actually go to sleep! I'm no fan of 'cry-it-out' but you also have to remember that they stay small for a short time - and you want your child to have healthy sleep habits and get some sleep yourself! The good thing is that you are thinking of it early on, so you can read around both sides of the issue, talk it over with your husband and figure it out! Good Luck - one thing that helped me was to remember that there are as many ways to raise a child as there are parents, and as long as you are motivated by love, all will be well.

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R.P.

answers from San Luis Obispo on

please do what your instict/gut/intuition tells you to do. Don't listen to anyone or anything else.

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C.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

At the risk of offending both camps....

We started out with our baby in a bassinet nearby. By around 7 weeks, I found that I was falling asleep feeding her and it was just giving me a crick in my neck anyway, so I just started keeping her in the bed with me. It made life so much easier - I could breastfeed her without either of us fully waking up.

Of course, if you're going to try that, make sure you do it safely - don't let her get overheated or fall out of the bed, both parents need to know she's there and be sober.

I would generally put her down in bassinet or cot for the first few hours every night, then go to bed myself whenever she woke for her first nighttime feed.

A year later, unsurprisingly, we had a kid who still wouldn't sleep through without a feed, and wouldn't sleep in her own bed. After trying everything Sears recommends... I went with Ferber and let her cry. 30 minutes (of sheer hell) later, it was over, and she's now delightfully easy to put down every night.

If you're going to try the Ferber route (a few months from now at the soonest, I hope) I would recommend actually reading his book. He is really about minimizing crying over the long term, and he has a lot of specific advice for making sure that the whole process is as easy as possible for everyone.

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V.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

I totally know what you're going through. At one point my son cried for so long and so hard that I took him to the doctor who told me that I had a perfectly healthy baby. My son really liked sleeping in his car seat and swing so I tried proping his matress up so that his head was higher then his body. This worked for us. My mom said it probably helped with digestion. If I were you I would try every crazy idea you hear, (I did) something will work! He's only 7 weeks, he's not trying to manipulate you, yet!

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M.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Could be any of 100's of reasons. Because it just started, and happens about the same time each night, you might want to look carefully at any changes in your house and/or household routine. For instance, have you been adjusting the heater or opening or closing windows, or have you been adding or subtracting blankets, or dressing him differently, or using a different soap befre his nighttime routine. If so it could be a sensitivity and/or allergy. You could change that factor. If he has other sensitivities or allergies then you may consider looking into allergy elimination.

For more information, visit NAET.com. You can also order the book "Say Good-Bye to Children's Allergies." I go to Dr. David Karaba in Fullerton and absolutely love him. His phone number is ###-###-####. One of the wonderful things about NAET is that for children or the infirm, they can be treated through a surrogate, i.e., you. Here is the description paragraph from the book information.
"Say Good-bye to Children’s Allergies
By - Devi S. Nambudripad, D.C., L.Ac., R.N., Ph.D.
Paperback-1st Edition 2000
350 pages, 8.5’ X 5.5’ X .75’
ISBN: ISBN: 0-###-###-####-8-4
In Say Good-bye to Children’s Allergies, Dr. Devi S. Nambudripad, the developer of NAET®, will help you understand your child’s illness and will assist you in finding the right help to achieve better health for your child. This book will show you how certain commonly used products in your foods and environment can cause health problems in your child; how you can test your child in your privacy of your own home using the Nambudripad’s Testing Techniques described in the book. This book will educate you how your child’s health problems can relate to allergy, a traditionally under-diagnosed or misdiagnosed condition; and, how allergies can manifest into myriad symptoms that might seem unrelated. The author also provides remedies for mild conditions of common childhood ailments arising from allergies and how to find help in assisting your child find the right help for serious problems such as, asthma, hay-fever, common colds, sinus problems, milk allergy, peanut allergy, sugar allergy, hives, gastritis, vomiting, colic for newborns, ear infections, irritable bowel syndrome, colitis, bronchitis, drug reactions, and many other conditions. Dr. Nambudripad explains how allergies are often the underlying causes to pediatric problems and how NAET® testing procedures and NAET® treatments can offer relief from these allergies. The book is supported by NAET® practitioners’ testimonials and patients’ success stories."

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K.O.

answers from San Diego on

Your son is too young to cry it out, I didn't start that with any of my three kids until they were about 6 months old. He is probably hungry, and that is why he is waking. That is the usual reason for waking at 7 weeks. Depending on whether you are using formula or breastfeeding, your baby at this age needs to eat every 1.5 to 3 hours, so depending on when he fell asleep, he is probably waking up to eat. There is no such thing as overfeeding an infant, they are experts at eating until they are full and then stopping. Overeating is a learned behavior that we acquire later on. I always err on the side of feeding a 7 week old every time they cry, because at that age that is the main reason they would be crying. Good luck.

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B.B.

answers from Santa Barbara on

Hi. I think that it's safe to say every baby is different in what they respond to. Just TRY and let him cry it out. If it works then u have your answer(and your sanity). My youngest son is now 7 1/2months and won't sleep through the night. He has actually regressed back to that because by 8 weeks he too was sleeping through the night and a complete dream baby. Around his 4th month he broke a fever for a day, no other symptoms, just fever. His ailment woke him up during the night, no big deal right? Wrong. He never went back to sleeping all night.I created a habit for him to be in our bed. He honestly spends most of the night in our bed simply because I have gotten too tired to keep getting up and down (five or six times) and nursing him back to sleep. I don't think I can get him to sleep any more unless he is nursing or in the car seat. NOW, he is older and very aware of me and his surroundings. He is absoloutely mortified if I leave him to cry. I think it would have been MUCH better to let him cry at 7 weeks rather than trying to reprogram him at seven months. I think he would just cry till he was tired and then sleep. For me, at this point of development, he KNOWS I can pick him up and won't and is really upset( so I can't do it). My advice... Do it now before it's too late! Sincerely, sleep deprived

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