6 Year Old Daughter and Boys

Updated on June 18, 2010
K.H. asks from Dayton, OH
10 answers

My 6 1/2 year old daughter has a liking to boys. She looks older for her age, (tall and her big teeth came in earlier than average) and she went to VBS with a friend and after the second day her and a 10 year old boy kissed each other on the cheek. The boy came up and asked me if she could come over and play at his house sometime and told me his address, Should i be worried or am i over reacting? I am sure it is innocent, but it bothers me that the boy is 10. She then proceeded to tell me that they kissed each other a lot on the cheek.??!
At school a boy has kissed her on the cheek before, but her age. She is only in Kindergarten! We told her next time a boy asks to kiss her, to tell him he can kiss her hand. Please any other advice would be helpful. She is my oldest of 3 girls.

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So What Happened?

Thank you for all your comments, this will help me a lot. She will be in 1st grade was in Kindergarten. Also I was not even considerting letting her go to his house. No worries there. Thanks again for the advice.

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B.K.

answers from Chicago on

In my opinion, it's very, very weird for a 5th-grade boy to be kissing a 1st-grade girl and showing such interest. I don't care how old she looks. Yes, you need to talk to her openly about all of this and how the kissing isn't right for kids her age. But I would be very wary about this boy. Don't let her go to his house. You should be worried and you are not over-reacting.

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C.P.

answers from Provo on

I would recommend that you talk to your daughter. See what the whole story is and start opening up the communication between you two because this is only the beginning. The maturity level between a 10 year old and a 6 year old is quite large. I can remember that when I was in kindergarten a boy from the first grade asked me to go behind the bushes with him. He told me that he would give me a sucker if I did and I went behind the bushes got the sucker and then climbed out. Ha Ha Ha!! I am sure he wanted to play doctor or put his hands on me but that was never gonna happen.

Talk to her and tell her that her body is special. Tell her that she is beautiful and very special. You can not be with your daughter all the time but you can empower her so she can make the best decisions. Don't ever think that if you two never discuss it then it won't happen!

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N.B.

answers from Washington DC on

Although it may be innocent, you do have to wonder why a 10 year old boy is interested in playing with a 6 1/2 year old girl. I don't think I would encourage that playdate. Most 10 year old boys can't stand girls!

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K.S.

answers from Denver on

Hi- I love this topic because I am so protective of my daughter, I tend to worry about this a lot!

I think your daughter is the perfect age to set boundaries and expectations. Avoid having a long, drawn out conversation with your daughter about this, but in lots of little conversations, let her know your expectations/values. For example (add your own expectations here), there is no kissing of any kind. If a boy likes you (and you like him), he can smile at you, draw you a picture, play a game at recess, etc.

It's important to talk a lot about what's not ok with you, and why. It's equally important to let her know what she CAN do. If she's a little boy crazy, you can't really stop that. If the boys like her, ditto. Your job is to give her the parameters to operate in so she doesn't flounder.

I hate to judge the little boy, because I don't know the whole story. Maybe a little weird for him to be interested, but if they were at VBS together and not really grouped by age, and she looks older, it's probably innocent. I do always say if you have a weird feeling, trust your gut. If you do decide it's innocent, great. I would not send her on a play date at his house, though. If they really want to play, I would do something like meet at the park. At the very least, she should be supervised at all times.

FYI, luckily schools can back up some of the affection rules. I know at my daughter's school they don't allow the kids to hug or kiss at all, made it easier to have some back up!

Good luck!

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L.N.

answers from New York on

one of my girls is a kissing monster. she got her first kiss age 3 by a 3 year old boy. at that time i thought she was cute. fast forward 3 years, she likes boys, not all boys, but kind of 'bad' boys, the fast ones, the cute ones, the talkative ones, sometimes the nice ones.
so i have had a conversation with her about liking someone but keeping it a secret between her and me, and not telling the boy. i have also told her kissing is special and she should save her kisses for when she grows up. to me, it seems she understands because she has not played with any of the boys anymore. i didn't want to go to the extremes but i wanted to nip it in the bud. a 10 year old boy kissing a 6 and a half is innocent still but she should learn boundaries so this doesn't continue. but i have no iudea how you would go about it.

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L.L.

answers from Orlando on

Tell her she is too young to be kissing boys! lol - I wish I had some better advise.

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K.H.

answers from Richmond on

be thankful that your daughter is being open with you and teling you that this ten year old boy kissed her on the cheek. i would not specially worry about the boy, but , i would definetly not allow the child to go over to the boys house, by herself.instead, go with her,because his intentions might be innocent, but, he may have a father, older brother, grandfather or uncle whos intentions with your child are anything but innocent.pedophiles can always use the excuse that the child kissed them and that is why they attacked them.and there will be a judge that agrees with the pedophile.it aint being paranoid, if you have seen it happen. always err on the side of caution, especially when it comes to your child.
K. h.

A.W.

answers from Kalamazoo on

" I am sure it is innocent" - ya right!!! My daughter will be 6 in July (going on 15) and she is tall for her age. She just finished up K. I have come to the realization that it is NOT too young to be watching out for this kind of stuff, especially from older boys. My girl is a little flirt too...She was kissed a couple of times in K - once on the cheek and once on the mouth! The teacher called me about the one on the mouth because my daughter got pretty upset. She was caught off guard during "free time" by a little boy. She was embarrased. Keep her away from this boy. He should be playing with other little boys his age, not 6 yr old girls!!!

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

what a sweet boy! and pooh to all the mothers glaring and judging him. he is behaving like a perfect little gentleman. and yes, i do agree that it needs to be carefully supervised and probably not encouraged, but just so that your daughter learns appropriate boundaries and how to say 'no' loudly and clearly, not because this boy is dangerous. some kids never go through the phase where they think the opposite sex is icky. my younger has loved girls from the moment he could focus his eyes on 'em.
khairete
S.

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C.W.

answers from Washington DC on

6 yo has "boyfriends" and told me that she kissed one before and some of her friends too. At least yours was on the cheek. I was surprised and thought they sure matured faster than we did. But now at the end of kindergarten the girls and boys are starting to separate and some are putting the pressure on others not to associate with the opposite sex. Talk to her about appropriate and inappropriate behavior with boys, but I think in a few month you will find that boys are yucky to her.

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