6 Month Old - Sleeping Problem

I responded to the same question from someone else. Hope you don't mind if I cut and paste, lol.
My daughter used to fight the crib also. SHe now goes in before she's asleep at 9 months old. I found that having a specific stuffed animal for the crib that she associates with sleeping really helped. I also find a routine important. This only includes a bath and then bottle for us. I put her in the crib right after & she usually lays right down. We had many a sleepless night before this because she also had colic. But I think I kept it up for only 2 weeks before she got into the routine on her own. Good luck, I know this can be so tough.

I would have to agree with the first two comments. I did try the CIO when I was exhausted and just DONE. I tried it one night and it broke mine and my babies heart. She cried so hard that she was about to get sick. From that moment on I knew that she needed me to nurse her to sleep or at least rock her. That way she would know that I was there and she was loved. I am not saying anything against the people that did it. I guess it is whatever works for you right but some children just can't handle that. This time is so short and will go by so quickly (even though it doesn't fill like that now). My daughter is 2.5 and I miss being able to nurse her to sleep. It was such a wonderful bonding time for us. Now I go lay down with her to get her to sleep but it just isn't the same. Take a deep breathe and realize that you are doing something so wonderful and nurturing for your daughter. Relax and just enjoy the fact that your baby needs you so very much! I hope whatever you decide to do that you are confident in it and as long as you are comfortable with the decision don't worry about anyone else. I know I caught some looks or comments about nursing my daughter to sleep but it worked for us and I was confident that I was doing the right thing!

I nursed all of my babies to sleep until they learned to fall asleep on their own or with me patting them or rocking them. I never let my children cry even now without holding them. My kids are healthy happy and 4,6, and 8 this year!
The us is the only country in the world that treats babies as we do, getting them in their own rooms and pressuring moms to let them cry when that goes against our instincts!!!! Why do what society says and not listen to our own instinct! Listen to your heart! Also, do you want to be ignored if you are upset, crying, can't communicate anrd are distressed? Why would you ignore your baby? Childern are not animals to train, they need to be loved and nurtured to be great people.
Good author is Dr sears as he is a dad, a real Dr and believes in atta
chment parenting rather than textbook parenting. Bottom line...foll
ow your heart. Noone knows your baby more than you do, noone knows what's right for your baby better than you. Follow your gut, your instinct and enjoy your baby!
Sorry for typos, on a blackberry!

there is a great book called:

good night, sleep tight
the sleep lady's guide to a good night's rest
( i can't recall the author, but it's easy to find at borders or barnes and noble)

it is incredible and really helped me sleep train my daughter. it recommends putting the baby down sleepy but still awake. it also talks about what to do when the baby is fussy or crying and won't go to sleep right away. i really didn't pick up my daughter, if she would cry, i would give her a few minutes, then go in and just lay her down and pat her back for a little bit. then i would slowly make my way to the door. if she pops back up, same thing, but i really try to avoid picking her up because these kids are smart, they know how to get your attention and they can figure out, if i cry, mommy comes.

i really think the book is great, hope this helps!!
S.

What I have done with several of mine is a gradual process but has worked well. It only took until my 9th child to figure it out!

I played a specific CD (usually a lulaby istrumental or such)I would lay on my bed and nurse and then put them in the crib which was open next to the bed so I could pat if they stirred. After a while of that I would lay them in the crib and lay on the bed and pat them or rub the back until they went to sleep and then after a while of that I would lay them down and just walk out. It takes a few weeks but then I have them trained to go to bed with that music...burn extras...and even when we travel we have the music which eases the off routine of being some where different..most of the time. I hope this helps!

As far as the crying...its hard. That is how they comunicate fear and discomfort so I respond unless I think they have everything they need and just want what they want.

Blessings to you and remember that this is not a science but more like an educated guessing game. They are all so different. Not one of my 11 are the same!

K.

I agree with other posts that you have to follow your own heart and what feels best to you. However, that means whatever you decide it best for you and your children. I used two books that are wonderful. On Becoming Babywise, by Gary Ezzo and Robert Bucknam (here is a link to a review that I think is great http://www.keepkidshealthy.com/reviews/parenting_books/on... The Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg (which is the same principle only a little softer). I had trouble listening to my children crying and The Baby Whisperer gave me the ability to be a little more flexible in how I responded to them. Both my kids are great sleepers. My youngest slept through the night at 2 1/2 months and goes down for naps easily and will sometimes even tell us when she wants to take a nap or go to bed. Every mom needs to follow their own heart and do what they feel is best for their children and not every method will work for every child or family.

A.

This is a very common problem with infants and you can understand why, warm yummy mommy milk and snuggle time or cool sheets on a not so snuggly bed. There are many theories out there on how to get your baby to sleep through the night including the most widely know, Ferber method. I prefer a mix of all and then add some real mommy instinct. One of the first things you can do is help your baby to be comfortable on her own during the day. Make sure that she has lots of tummy time and some alone play time so that she can get used to calming herself. Don't run to her side if she starts to cry, instead allow her the time to try to comfort herself (just a few minutes at first so she starts to learn that you will always come back even if it takes a little while, this is part of the Ferber method). Does she fall asleep on her own for naps? At 6 months, a baby can really benefit from a security item like a blankie, stuffed animal, and a pacifier. Some babies NEED to suck it is natural for them and although a child should not carry a pacifier around with them when they are a toddler, it can really help in soothing them to sleep or through the difficult separation anxiety stage. I found it difficult to really do anything at bedtime because I wanted to feed my girls right before bed so that they would sleep as long as possible. However, feeding them 30 minutes to an hour earlier and then reading them a book didn't make a difference in their sleeping schedule. Having a routine that they feel comfortable with will help them for many years to come. Something else you can try would be to swaddle your baby if they like that. Other than that you just have to decide that it is important for you and your daughter and know that you are helping to give your daughter confidence by allowing her to work something out on her own. Give her a little time to cry then go in and soothe her, then give her a little more time and then go in a soothe her some more, give her some more time and then "shush" her from the door and let her know that you are there and everything is alright, maybe sing her favorite song. You must remember not to go to her and let her fall asleep in your arms after all of this or you are teaching her that if she puts up a big enough fight then finally you will do what she wants. Stay strong, I cried when my husband and I decided we needed to do this with our oldest but it was worth it. I wish you much luck with this and all your mommy endeavors.

hey B.,

i remember going through that with my first one. don't worry, i think you'll get through this quickly. the best advice a friend of mine gave me was to try what you can and if it doesn't work that time, try again the next. so, i would lay my little guy down and give him 10 minutes to cry. if he was still crying after 10 minutes i would either pat his back or pick him up to soothe him until he was content. then i would lay him down again, but this time for only like 7 mintues. and i would keep doing this until i got down to like 2 minutes. then i would just wait to try again until the next time they are supposed to sleep and just do what it took to get them to sleep that time. you can pick the amounts of time and make it whatever you can stand. i started laying him down to fall asleep on his own when he was like 6 weeks, so that is why i gave it only 10 minutes at first. if at any time during the 10 minutes he would stop crying and relax and then start crying again a few minutes later, my 10 minutes would start over. eventually she will catch on.

i have a 2 year old and a 6 month old. they are both great at laying down to go to sleep, but another thing i use is my older one has an ocean wonders aquarium and my younger one has the baby einstien turtle. these are both musical toys that hang in the crib. there is a new aquarium with a remote control and i think i would pick that if i were going to make a purchase. but both of these toys have lights and music or a variety of combinations that last for 10-12 minutes. it is enough to catch their attention and allow them to relax and fall asleep. sometimes during a loud storm i hear my 2 year old wake up and stir and he turns on his aquarium himself and falls right back to sleep. just last night my 6 month old woke up (thanks to my sweet husband who was out of town and got in late and wanted to see his boys). so i nursed him and laid him down and he started to fuss. i turned on his turtle and he calmed right down and fell back to sleep.

well, i hope that helps. just be consistent and you'll get there eventually. good luck!

J.

Hi! I have 4 kids that are teens now. When you have this problem, it causes stress for everyone in the house (it can be hard to listen to your child cry)! However, if there is no other reason for her to cry (she's not hungry, sick, or wet)you have 2 options. 1)Don't let her cry long. This way you have to repeat the cycle until one or both of you is exhausted. 2) Let her cry it out. Eventually she will cry herself to sleep. If she learns it now, she can break that cycle and learn to "soothe" herself.

Hope that helps!

Hi B.,

I have an 11 month old little boy. Sleep training is so hard but it is worth it for both the parents and the baby. We learned with our son that if we laid him down asleep, it was only a matter of time before he woke up...and cried. Since he did not get himself to sleep in the first place, then he could not get himself back to sleep when he woke up. Try putting your baby down awake, after she nurses and let her learn to fall asleep on her own. She will cry, of course, because she would rather have you in there. But if she has a full tummy and clean diaper, and has been burped, then you know she is ok. It will take a few nights to a week of crying before she gets it. It is so hard to just let them cry so it helps if your husband is supportive of the plan. You can start by letting her cry for 10 or 20 minutes then going and checking on her, patting her, telling her you love her but we found that picking up our son and even going into his room, just made the crying worse. I hope this helps!

Honey.....nurse that baby ntil she falls asleep and cherish every moment of it....she apparently feels so safe being nursed and comfortable and she enjoys falling asleep this way...and when shes crying.....pick her up...she obviously wants something...she will grow and decided she doesnt need to cry to get waht she wants....just enjoy her mom...cherish the moments...im the mother of 5 grandmother of 14....

I have a 7 month old baby girl and several months ago i started putting her down for naps while she was still awake. I keep another baby during the day, so it helps that they both go down for naps awake and fall asleep on their own. usually this works- i lay her down when i know she's sleepy, put in her pacifier, cover her with her blanket (even though you're not supposed to use blankets) and turn on her aquarium toy that has sound and lights and movement. she'll watch the toy and usually drift off to sleep, sometimes with no fuss at all, sometimes with a little fuss. sometimes i have to go back in and put her paci back in but that's usually all it takes. if she cries a while lot, i get her back up because either she's not really tired or sometimes i do have to rock her. but that system usually works for us. we didn't really start it until she was over 4 months old because that's when we moved her our of our room into her own room. hope this helps!

Hi B.,
I am a mother of girls, now 24 and almost 21 and not to forget 3 boys. When my youngest daughter was first born I was very fearful, as I remember the agony of getting the first one to go to sleep. My mom was very helpful with this after watching a program on this very subject. We all have a tendancy to put our children to sleep and not to bed. Now take a minute to digest that. We teach our children everything and we just assume that going to bed is natural. After all we ALL NEED SLEEP. This is how it goes.
When a child is put to sleep versus put to bed, when they awake they are not even sure where they are. Think about the times you have done this very thing. Haven't you ever falling asleep and woke up and not know where you were? Our kids can do the same thing.
What I did was this......
When its bedtime, make sure all the obvious things are taken care of.....dry diaper, belly full, pacifier, comfortable pj's and temp in the bedroom is not to warm.
I would put my daughter in her bed (in those days on her tummy) and rub her back for a minute and let her know, Mommy was there. Then I'd leave the room for 5 minutes. Of course the first night she cried almost immediatly. Then I'd go back in and do only one thing...reassure her that I had not left her! I would do this by touching/rubbing her back and talking softly to her. If her pacifier needed replacing then I would do that as well.....but I WOULD NOT PICK HER UP. Once she was calmer, I would then leave the room again, this time I would add two minutes to the original 5 minutes that we started with. Now I have to tell you, that first night I went in like 4 times. I stood at the door, but never said a word until I had to go in. The next night I had to go in only twice and the third night, once.
I am happy to report that to this day, my youngest daughter is my sleep hound. She has always been able to sleep no matter where she is.
I will share with you a story from when she was about 3 that to this day tickles me when I think of it. We had a normal routine that after lunch was nap time and this day was no different, other than the fact that it was about 45 minutes later than normal and Katie was very tired. After we finished eating I wanted to get some dishes cleanded up and thought that I could do this fairly quickly. Katie was and still is very verbal, so that day she told me how tired she was and that she was ready to go take her nap. I told her "OK sweetie, just as soon as mommy finishes up these dishes I will put you to bed". I did tell her to go and get in the bed and I would be in there in a minute. Well I kept my end of the deal and while I was on my way to the bedroom, I almost tripped over her! She couldn't make it to the bedroom....she was asleep in the floor, in the hallway!
Teach them to go to bed. Dont teach yourself to put them to sleep and the rest will take care of itself!
Hope this helps and my apologies for being so long winded!
D. Whitaker :)

Hi I am a 45 year old mom of two girls 20 and 16 . They learn real quick how to get what they want I hate to say this but your gonna have to let her cry and learn to go to sleep wtihout being nursed. congratulations on your new baby girl, they are so precious. It's not easy letting them cry but you have to. I wish I could say something esle. Being a new mother is a challenge, Good luck. J. Osteen

i have a 7 month old and we put her to bed awake. I normally feed her oatmeal right before we put her down. sometimes she goes right to sleep and others she plays. but we never pick her up if she fusses. Just remember never but a baby to bed asleep, i would try to feed her good dinner and 1 hour after it is digested put her in her bed. see what happends. when she takes naps during the day make sure she takes them in her crib. and i would get her use to it. put her in her crib just to show her it is ok. she may not like to be left alone. i would try this during the day (i am a new mother and i know when its time to sleep you will try anything to please her) try to get her use to taking naps (put her down awake) during the day and gradually try the night time. every baby is different. i hope this helps and good luck and congradulation on the baby.

I agree with Tammy , CIO , or cry it out goes against mom insticts, and only creates stress in you and your baby. Try picking up the book , The no cry sleep solution by elizabeth pantley. Crying is your baby's only way of letting you know they need something is wrong or that she needs something. Check out that book, its by a mom and gives you several ways to get them to sleep without having to let them cry themselves to sleep.

Hi B.

First let me say that I am not sure there is a one fit solution for all. Every baby is different. My baby who is 10 months now does the same thing. Now that she is 10 months old I have been putting her in her crib at roughly the same time every night. She cried the first week for 30 minutes or so before she fell asleep, but now she falls asleep within five minutes. It was very hard for me to hear her cry, I lean towards the attachment style of parenting. However my sanity was diminishing and I needed to get some time alone. Anyway my adivce is to do what feels right for you. Your child will still love you if he/she cries for 20 minutes before falling asleep. It will get easier over time. I kept thinking my baby would eventually grow out of her need to nurse to fall asleep but so far it hasn't happened, but she does know how to self soothe herself to sleep now.
Good Luck
G.

Hey, B.. You may want to pick up the book: The Happiest Baby on the Block. I think there is a whole chapter about getting your baby to sleep. I didn't have the book for my two boys (now 6 and 3) and I ended up spoiling them by rocking them to sleep and then sneaking out of their rooms...not at a all a good idea!

The good news is that both of them outgrew it by about 13 months...but it was a LOOOOONG 13 months and when I finally had to break them of my silly routine, I was exhausted and they would scream for 10-15 minutes straight until they fell asleep. It was super stressful for all of us and while I enjoyed that extra "snuggle" time, I know I could have handled it much better....hindsight is 20-20!

It's great that you are trying to break the habit now. Try the book. I have heard some rave reviews.

B.-I feel your pain. My daughter was the same way. It was very hard. I tired tolet her cry it out and sat ouside her room for 2 hours! Even the dr. admitted that it obviously wasn't going to work for her. I tried to follow a book by a dr named Ferber-who developed what is called the Ferber-technique. It didn't work for my daughter, but several people had lots of success with it. There are so many better books out on the subject today than there were 10 years ago. Go to the bookstore, grab yourself a cup of coffee and peruse thru them to find which one fits both of our personalities. (go when its her nap time so she will maybe sleep in the stroller or find someone to watch her. You could use the break. Remember that stage is a phase and just cuz she isn't going to sleep now by herself doesn't mean she won't be a model sleeper in 3 months. And remember-your friends with stellar sleepers now, may see a change soon! Its frustrating, but my daughter is 10 now and its all a distant memory. Now, I did have to "Ferberize" her off the breast, but that's another story and that actually worked! God Bless.

B.,
I nursed all three of my children two until ag 7 1/2 months and one until 11 months. Keep doing what you are doing. Eventually your baby will not fall asleep when she nurses but enjoy the fact that she does now. At night to help her sleep through the night, you can try offering the pacifier before nusing and don't go to her if her if she wakes and is not crying. Babies need to develop trust and security in the relationship with their parents. Responding to her cry and providing comfort and food will create that secure attachment all children need. Also I always felt it help to have my babies sleep in thier own bed, in their own room so for nighttime and naptime. That way if they woke up they did not see or hear us and would often soothe themselves back to sleep.
Best of luck and enjoy this sweet time with your baby. It goes by too fast,mine are now 9, 8 and almost 3.
Viki

Hi B.,

My daughter is 6 mths also and does the same thing, I look at it as a comfort thing. I nurse and rock her every night before bed. They say you should establish a bedtime ritual and this is hers. Personally I can't let my daughter cry herself to sleep, but she doesn't give me any problems as long as I nurse her before bed. If you think about it, it's really not any different than bathing her before bed and it is bonding time for the both of you.

Babies all have different ideas of when they are ready to sleep through the night and by themselves. I am reading a book called "The No-Cry Sleep Solution". This is great for me because I really do not want to let my baby "cry it out". He sleeps with me most of the time, and I do nurse before he goes to sleep, and this book is helping me figure out how to change this behavior in a way that is comfortable for both of us. I would never stop picking him up when he is crying. To me, there is no reason to let them cry. They cry because they can't communicate any other way. So if they are crying, they must need something, even if it is just love and attention.

Don't worry. They all sleep through the night eventually. Good luck!

I recommend reading the book Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg. With my first child I always nursed to sleep and didn't know what problems I was causing until I wanted to wean and then had no way of getting my baby to sleep. I checked her book out of the library and it explained everything and gave me a step by step plan on how to fix the situation. Good Luck.

I never let mine cry it out--all that teaches them is that you are not coming when they need you. There's no reason a 6-month-old needs to put herself to bed! :) Nurse her down, and if your husband or SO is able to, have him put her into her bed. It helps later (after she's one) when you can send him in to walk or pat her back down when she wakes.

Check out Dr. Sears. Babywise and Ferber have both been discounted recently as being damaging (especially Ferber, who has admitted that CIO is bad), and letting babies cry unchecked can cause apnea and brain damage. She needs you now, so just try to relax and get her into bed however you can.

Letting kids CIO doesn't really teach them independence; Sears and several other sources have found that responding to a baby's needs is more likely to teach them independence because they know if they need you, you'll come, so they're more willing to step away from you.

http://www.babycenter.com/0_the-ferber-method-demystified...

Well, I am one of the mom's who had great success letting my kids "cry it out"... which is not a perfect description of the Ferber method. The above link can give you more info. Around the time both of my kids are 6 mos. old we used this with great success. As a flip side to the previous posts, I don't think you should feel guilty about taking a few days to teach your child to sleep better on their own... Personally it stressed me out greatly to have to dread every bedtime and the hoops I'd have to jump through to get my child to sleep, only to be awakened several times a night. It was well worth a few (and I mean a FEW) nights maybe a little stressful for us both to have a child who could fall asleep and rarely awaken at night. It lead to a more well rested child and a more well rested ME which was no small thing!

Enjoy the cuddle time you have now. My baby girl is now 10 months old and well, I don't get as much cuddle time/nursing time as I used too. I ALWAYS attend to her when she wakes crying. She's the only one who knows what she needs. Last night it was because her diaper was soaked. If I ignored the crying, how would I know? Other times, it's because her stomach is growling and as I nurse her at 3 am, I can feel the rumble. If I ignored her, how would I know? For me, since she can't attend to her own needs as I would attend to mine, I am therefore charged with the duty to help her. ITA with the previous posters who said not to let her CIO.

Take the time to see what will work. 6-months old! Sounds like a long time but when you think it took 12-months to get her the other 6-months will fly by. Have you tried feeding her something like a little cereal? Usually when babies are dry, full and clean they will drift off to sleep they may not sleep the night away until after they are used to not being fed during the night! Love her and enjoy her. She will soon be grown. I had a baby once and thought she was the prettiest thing in the world. She lived 30 hours! I would have been willing to do anything just to be able to hold her.
We have adjusted! I still think of her an all even thos she would have been the baby of 3 others. All are grown now! Such a short time ago!!!

interestingly, this was on the bottom of my email with the Mamasource requests. You may have seen it already:

http://www.3daysleep.com/?gad=CP2PlLgGEgiXNEUeLeFszhjfz8P...

There are a lot of people who have this problem. Babycenter.com, Dr. Sears, etc. all have advice.

Good luck!

I learned the hard way with this and took a long time before I found out what worked. My pediatrician told me to make sure my son was fed and changed put him in bed if he crys ignore, as long as he is not hungry or has a dirty diaper it won't hurt him. It is very hard to do, but thay told me after 3-4 nights they will realize that you are not coming and stop waking up. It really did work, I wish I had asked earlier, because then I would've had a years extra sleep. I neglected to mention one part , you can go in and check on them 1 time, tell them you love them and go back out, it kinda made it harder because then he was more heartbroken that I left again.
Good luck, it will probably be harder on you than your daughter.