This was my son's first week at day care. He is going to a group day care facility everyday. After being on maternity leave for almost 5 months it was time for me to return to work :(
So far this week, my son has had issues eating every day and with every bottle. Normally at home he will drink around 7 to 8 ounces with no problems - the only thing is he is a slow eater. I've always taken my time feeding him - allowing him to burp and take breaks. At day care there have been bottles when he has ate only 1 or 2 ounces. The day care is aware of his "slowness" to eat and they've assured me that they are taking their time with him. (I'm not 100% sure this is happening - I'd like to think it is, I really like the day care - I do know that they can't sit there all day and just focus on my child and his eating issues. Also, if my son was hungry he would eventually eat.)
They've told me that many babies have issues eating at first at day care - they're not with their mothers who have mostly fed them from birth and there is so much going on in the room, sometimes they are over stimulated. I have heard others say that it sometimes could take several weeks for them to start eating better and sometimes they never come around. Wondering if anyone has experienced this with their children when they first went to day care? And what if anything, besides time did you do?
(I am asking that you please do not criticize me for going back to work full time. If I could stay home, trust me I would. Also, please do not criticize me for putting him in a group day care - I do not have family options and this is what works the best for my husband and me currently. I have enough stress right now going on in my life - Thanks!!! Also, my son has severe allergies to cow milk, rice, oatmeal, so we are not feeding him anything except a special formula for severe allergies - it is extremely thin and broken down. This is why at certain feedings he can eat 8 ounces.)
I worked at day care for over 5 years and what you said is true. It really just takes time and sometimes they get better and sometimes they don't. With the ratio being 1 to 4 it is hard to give the children more one on one attention. We did try to as much as we could, especially with the new ones. He just has to get use to the new people and they need to get use to him.
My little man would not take a bottle from ANYONE when I went back to work, and it got better after a couple of weeks. The issue for us was a little different as I had to go back to work sooner than you (I had two weeks off, god love graduate school) and my mother in law would come and watch him when I had to go to work/school. My son would eat some for her during the day but when my husband came home he would eat nothing. He would just wait until I got home (breast feed baby). So, it will get better. And, like you said, if he was really very hungry he will eat!
Hi J. -
First of all, I just to say that you should not feel bad about being a full-time Mom and full-time worker! There are just as many if not more Moms like us than not. It is a rare thing to be able to afford to stay home full time and the majority of the mothers that I know who do it are miserable. I have experienced a little of all 3. Stay at home, working part-time days and then part-time afternoons and then after a divorce forced quickly to change everything: my house, school for my son and going back to work full-time which meant finding daycare quickly for a 1 1/2 (she is 4 now). I am sorry I can't specifically address your question but I would recommend you speak to his peditrician about any of your concerns. They may offer to have him come in for weight checks every few weeks if you are truly concerned about him not getting enough to eat especially at his age. He is not able to tell you or the daycare providers that he is hungry.
My kids are 8 and 4 and I know that they would love it if I was home with them but at the same time I have pride in the fact that as a single parent I am showing them that hard work pays off and I work at Beaumont (in the Pediatric department) so I always have good and sometimes funny stories to share with them. So hang in there. It does get easier and easier and you will work it out!
Take care Happy Friday
I haven't experienced this but give it a little time. If he is used to only being fed by you it may take some time for him to adjust. If he doesn't improve within the next week or so then you might have more concern. Also, if your husband doesn't normally feed him, have him give your son the bottle (or even a friend) without you around and see if he has the same problem.
I had the same difficulty when I returned to work and my son when to daycare. It took several weeks for him to even accept a few ounces each feeding. During that time, I felt awful about (a) leaving him with day care providers and (b) going back to work. However, he eventually did start eating well @ day care. I was lucky in that we have providers who ran childcare out of their homes, so these providers had the time to sit with him when feedings take up to an hour.
I know it is difficult and I commend you for going back to work! I do hope it gets easier with time. Also know that he probably does make up for some of his missed eating time when you get home. I know my son did a lot of catching up in the early evenings and night time feedings.
J.,
First of all, congratulations on your new arrival! Second, don't feel bad for returning to work. Now, I'm a stay at home mom but I worked full time until my children were 4 and 2 years old. Don't beat yourself up over returning to work. You are a good mommy!
My children didn't have any eating problems when they started daycare at 11 & 13 weeks. But, since your little boy is older and has experienced some tummy troubles it could be alot different for him.
My suggestion...if you're concerned about how things are going at the daycare center drop in on them when they are least expecting you. This allows you to check on his wellbeing and get the real scoop. If you don't like what you see don't hesitate to say something immediately. If they don't take your concerns seriously then consider moving him to another facility.
Good luck and remember if you are happy your little man will be too!
Hi J.,
My son had a similar problem when he started at daycare. It is a major adjustment period for them, and I think you will see improvement with time.
As for the working thing, and everything else you are feeling stress over....try to just tell yourself you are doing what is best for YOUR FAMILY! If there is one thing I have learned about motherhood it is that I will drive myself CRAZY if I listen to every other mothers opinion on everything...especially when I don't ask for it! This of course does not at all pertain to Mamasource (which I love and value dearly:) There are always people who will criticize, and you really have to try to not let it bother you because believe it or not, they are not they are not perfect either!!
Just try to be patient, give it another week or so and see what happens. If he is hungry, he will eat:)
H.
J.,
The first week of any new environment can be a challenge. I wouldn't worry unless there is no improvement in the next week. One suggestion I have is for you to feed him a bottle there with one of the caregivers sitting with you so he sees that it's okay. Good Luck!
T.
First of all, I don't see anything wrong with taking your child to a group day care. If you have to work, you have to work. I don't think any of us prefer it over staying home wiht our children. I take my almost 6 month old and she loves being around other babies. I think it is great for them socially. My daughter took a long time drinking her bottles until I moved her up to the stage 2 nipples. I am wondering if that would help if you haven't already done that. At first she was kinda making a mess, but she adjusted. It makes it easier for everyone including the baby.
No christism from me... I'm a full time working mom too.
As a former day care teacher in an infant room. The workers may be overwhelmed with kids and can't take that extra time. Or he's taking so long that the bottle "expires" before they can let him finish it. .... Or he just needs time and patience to get used to the new environment. I'd watch next week and see how things go. Do you work nearby where you can drop in? Maybe you could see what's going on.. or have some mommy time to feed him yourself as well. I had mom's do that at times.
It may very well be that he is adjusting to his new enviornment. I too work and went back to work after 6 months with both of my children. I share all of your concerns. My best advice is to follow your gut instinct. If you feel that something is not quite right do not hesitate to call your pediatrician or if need be consider another daycare facility. It may be that there is someone licensed with the State who watches kids in their home in your neighborhood. Enjoy your little guy-he is at such a fun age!
I was home with my daughter for 4 months before putting her in the care of someone else. She also was a slow eater with the cow's milk allergy, and it took a while for her to adjust. I just kept a very close eye on things, and made sure that when I got home I immediately offered her a bottle (we adjusted her schedule so that could happen). I know it's difficult when you really like the daycare, but it might be good to continue researching day cares to try to find a smaller day care where they are more likely to give more one on one attention to our son (eventually we had to do this too).
My daughter is 5 months also, and one day she just flat out stopped taking a bottle. She wouldn't take it from me, my husband or anyone else. Then all of the sudden (about 8 days later) she started taking it again. It was the weirdest thing, but perhaps the same thing is happening with your child. I was nursing her, but basically she had been taking a bottle 1-2 times per days since she was 6 weeks old. Anyway, I hope sharing this story helps. Good luck!
