My 4 month old has a very very rough time going to sleep. Naps or nighttime. She is on a pretty decent schedule, and clearly very tired, but goes down screaming no matter what we do. (And we are not letting her get over tired). We don't use pacifier, and would prefer not to, but it is horrible to watch her suffer like this each night (and nap). Any suggestions? She has pretty much always been like this, although does have sporadic times when she goes right down. What should we do?
I just wanted to add that I nurse her right before bed, and the screaming happens even when we try to rock her, etc. to bed. When she does fall asleep, she will generally stay asleep until 4 or 5am!
my son had to do some crying before sleep -- even with rocking and nursing...but he grew out of this as he got older...
Hi S.,
My DS also had a very hard time going down. What I realized was when I nursed him, he would fall asleep pretty well, but then I hold him up to burp him and he would wake up and get angry that I "woke" him. I basically stopped burping him. I know this sounds horrible, but he actually went down ok. He never had any gas issues due to this, but I think some babies do. Sometimes he would wake up and hour later needing to burp, but then I would pick him up, burp him and put him back down because he was so tired.
Not the best solution, but it worked for me.
Have you tried taking her to a chiropractor? I have had very good results improving childrens sleep habits by simply adjusting them. Chiropractic adjustments calm nervous system irritation so the child is more relaxed and so sleep improves. If you have not been to a chiropractor before, treatments for little ones are very gentle. You will want to see a chiropractor in your area who is comfortable with treating children, a family or pediatric chiropractor specializes in families and children. The best way to find one is to ask your friends who they take their children to. Barring that, you can go on-line to www.masschiro.org to find a list of chiropractors in your area with links to their web sites so you can learn more about them.
Dr. E.
Before I had my daughter I never used to sing... now I sing all day every day. Softly singing a lullaby while nursing/rocking and continuing the song (get softer and slower has the eyes start to get heavy) might help. We found a few lullaby cd's to play at bedtime as well. In fact we still use them nightly and for naps (she is now 15mo.)When she hears the first song she immediatly knows what time it is, she associates it will sleep I think.
also, I know they say not to put anything in the crib, but at some point I know we started giving her a small soft blanket to hold. We have a video monitor and it was so nice to see her rubbing her blanket as a soothing mechanism. Again, this is something she still does every time she goes down. I have mom-brain so I can't remember exactly when we starting putting things in her co-sleeper/crib, so you might want to ask around first, it might be too early.
If you're able to nurse her to sleep I say do it. If she wakes up and cries as you set her down after nursing just try shushing (say "shhh shhh" over and over while you rub her head or belly). it's a soothing sound and the repitition of the sound can be hypnotic. Even if her cries are stressing you out take some deep breaths and do all you can to maintain a sense of calm because your emotions can be contagious, especially to a sensitive little one.
You say she is on a decent schedule so I wonder if her naptimes are somewhat predictable at this point? You can try putting her down 20 minutes prior to when she normally goes down. Even if she's not showing signs yet of being ready for a nap you might find that she goes down easier for you because she is not overtired. Same goes for bedtime. Sometimes they cry hard for 2-3 minutes then fall asleep, so while I wouldnt' suggest letting her cry it out, I would suggest leaving her alone for a couple of minutes because sometimes they just need to be alone in order to fall asleep (my daughter sure needed it).
If she doesn't fall asleep at the breast you can try passing her off to your spouse/partner after nursing, then you leave the room and allow them to finish the nighttime ritual without you. Again, sometimes mom needs to be out of sight for them to permit themselves to fall asleep; your presence might make her want to stay up to spend more time with you (and your breasts- ha ha). As she develops a routine of falling asleep peacefully you will find that you don't need to jump through such hoops. Things will fall into place eventually!
These are things that worked for us, soon you will find what works for you! Sorry so long, but I kept thinking of more things to try. good luck.
She is still very young and probably needs to be nursed to sleep and if this just recently started she could be teething too.
Try these things to see if it will help make her more comfortable for sleep:
~ Use some room darkening shades to block out light
~ SWADDLE! It helps so much - you can even sleep with the swaddle so it smells like you before you use it on her.
~ Use white noise in her room like a fan, AC, humidifier, etc
These three things mimic the womb, so it will make your LO feel more comfortable!
Good luck. You are doing great!
I agree with Liz. She's still a little tiny baby. Nurse her, love her to sleep. It will make sleeping a peaceful thing and not something terrifying by association. You won't regret it :-)
I always said I would never let my daughter use a pacifier. I worked in day cares for years and always, always knew that my child never would. Well, she is 1 now and calls her soothie "Spot". She loves it! It can't hurt to try!
Just wanted to let you know that at 4 months babies are still really young and I don't know any or many that went down "easy." Most everyone that I know rocked their babies to sleep one way or another until they were a little older. So you are definitely not alone. Does she go to sleep after eating? My son always had to nurse before he went to sleep at this age. Swaddling helps too but most times we just rocked baby to sleep either in a glider or walking around.
Edited, Yes, I agree with the teething. My son started at 4 months old. You won't see any teeth, but his gums were a bit swollen.
this is completely normal, your baby needs to be nursed to sleep. Try putting her in a sling and walking with her, or sitting in a rocking chair. Babies have a very hard time getting themselves to sleep by themselves at this age, they need their mommies to help them! Remember that she is trying to communicate to you by crying, listen to her and be patient. you don't need anything else to soothe her, just nurse her to sleep. For more detailed, intelligent information about sleeping or anything baby related, get yourself The Baby Book by Dr. Sears, and check out thier webstite: http://askdrsears.com
Good luck!
