4 1/2 Year Old Still Having Potty Accidents

My 4yr old does the same thing - he's been potty trained since about 2 1/2yr old or so. Drives us crazy. We tell him to go throughout the day. Somedays he has no accidents, sometimes 2 or 3. Same as your son, just enough to soak through the his shorts. And he often fights us when we tell him to go - "but I don't HAVE to go potty!", then he goes like he's been holding it in forever! We tried being calm about it and having him change, just hasn't worked for us. We actually have started with if he tells us, it's ok, he just has to change, but he hasnt' done that yet. So usually what we do if we notice he's wet is ask him if he had an accident or pee-peed in his underwear - we give him 2 chances to tell the truth, then take something away (we start with the TV, then move onto a favorite toy if he does it again). We take the thing away for the rest of the day and he gets it back the next day. It's a mix of discipline and getting him to tell the truth. It's obvious he's had an accident, but he needs to learn to tell us when he does it and tell us the truth when we ask him (cause he doesn't tell us). And we keep reminding him that if he tells us he had an accident, nothing gets taken away and all he has to do is change his pants then go about the day. It is definitely the age. Like I said, somedays he does great with no accidents, others he can have up to 3. Good luck and just remind yourself that "this too shall pass" ;)

My son did that a lot at that age. If there is a lot going on around they don't even think about it. I had to make my 7 year old go to the rest room at Disney when I needed to go just so he wouldn't hold it. At that age they are afraid if they go they will miss something. My son did it a lot when when played outside. He didn't want to go in since he might have to stay in. If it continues you can take him to a dr. Boys have a harder time with this than girls. My son still wets the bed some because he does not wake up. He sleeps too heavey.

Good luck and God Bless!

Good Luck and God Bless

I wouldn't discipline him. My daughter does this too on occasion and I just remind her to tell me when she has to go. I notice it the most when she doesn’t want to stop doing something. We were at the Halloween party too on Friday night and she wouldn’t use the potty at all. I think the auto flush there scares them and I know my daughter didn’t want to miss anything. As long as he isn’t empting all of his bladder I wouldn’t worry. I think this is normal for most kids, even older ones. Just be patient with him.

I am sure that he is on a schedule at school and that is why he doesn't have accidents. I would try to take him every hour or so don't even ask just tell him to try. My son is 5 and he has a very long ride to and from school and he on occasion will have an accident. Boys don't care about feeling wet as much as girls it seems (IMO). Boys get so involved in what ever play, tv, game or outdoor activity that they don't want to stop. He will get it in time. It is annoying but, I don't think he is abnormal or has any health issue per say. I would see if he continues to have accidents after trying to get him to go each hour and if he does take him to the doc. Just a FYI, may sound crazy but Petco has their own brand of pet odor/ stain remover for carpet and it takes urine smell out of anything. It was safe to use on shoes, jeans etc. if my son had accidents. Good luck.

First thing I'd do is stop asking him 'if' he has to go. Take him if you know he hasn't gone in awhile. It could be something medical - maybe have him get a urinalysis from the docs just to rule out a urinary tract infection. Have you changed soaps or detergents? I would just tell him it's time to go (especially when you are out and about). But I would not make any deal out of it either way - don't discipline him or act super happy when he doesn't have an accident. When he does, tell him to take off his pants and underwear and put them in the laundry and get new clothes. Tell him your sorry that he didn't make it to the toliet and maybe next time he will. Try that for a week and see what happens. But I would call your doc just in case they want to see him, too.

Good luck mama!

Lol I def think it's a boy thing especially around this age. My almost 5 son does this on occasion when he's playing or too busy doing something that he doesn't want to take the time to stop. I could always tell, like when he starts holding his crotch. Even when he says he doesn't have to go, I'd insist & he would go to the bathroom & sure enough he'd pee. I always tell him, in a firm voice (when he says he doesn't have to go) that I'm not going to argue w/ him, could he please just go to the bathroom now & try, If he does, that's great, if he doesn't that's great too. & he doesn't do this at school! At school, he goes when he has to!
On the times that he did wet his underwear a little, he knows to change his underwear but he would also tell me that he did that. I have stopped getting upset, instead I thank him for getting a new underwear. & he is a happier boy & tries to go when he has to. IMO discipline is not the way to go.. I used to give my son rewards instead (everytime he goes to the bathroom to go pee).
Some of my friends have boys around this age & we all talk about it..lol! Good luck to all of us w/ little boys! This too shall pass..:)