38 Year Old Preparing to Have a Family

It sounds like you are doing all the right things, eating healthy and exercising. Keep up the good work. I had two children at the age of 39 and 40. They are both very healthy, now 16 and 17. Just keep doing what you are doing, exercising and eating healthy and you will do just fine. Keep a good frame of mind and don't gain too much weight. Good luck!

I was 37 when I had my son. My husband and I were married in June of 2002 and by Oct/Nov of 2003 I still wasn't pregnant.I went to visit my sister for a week (ended up being 3 weeks with her and 3 weeks with my brother). My brother in-law kept telling me to take vitamin e and I laughed at him. That week on the news there was a lady on that had taken vitimin e and got pregnant so she did it again for a second child and it worked. Of course my brother in-law ran out and bought me some vitamin e. So I tried. When I got back from visiting my family, I was pregnant within a month. I hope this helps, good luck!!!!!

P.

i got pregnant at 40, and aside from prenatal vitamins and other things my doc had me take once the ball was rolling (fish oil etc), I think you're on the right track. Mostly I would just make sure you eat healthy and stay in shape. The only advice I have is to make sure you're good on squats as well as kegel exercises. If you're not doing kegels, you'll be wishing you had. Pre-natal yoga was VERY helpful, I didn't start it till 7 months or so, which was perfect for me.

Dear K.,
First of all, congratulations! How exciting! I, too, am a 'late bloomer' and got married recently and just had my first baby 3 months ago. I turn 40 next month. The only thing I can say is 1) every body is different. I had no problem getting pregnant and labor and delivery were rather easy. 2) It sounds like you're doing everything you need to to ensure a safe and healthy environment for baby. You are conscious and taking of your body, you're in a loving relationship, you want a baby and are ready for one. Nature will take its course from there. So relax! Have fun. Also, (this may be too much info, but here goes), we had sex every day from the end of one period/cycle to the next to ensure we had the right timing. It worked like a charm for us...Good luck and best wishes! Let us know how things go. I have heaps of advice for the top things I wish I knew BEFORE baby was born...

If you know you are getting married, why wait? I am still sad we waited so long to get married and then only had one child. I got pregnant at 39, then it went to a high risk pregnancy and my son was premature..all due to age and blood pressure issues.

Things will not really change in 2 years, but your body will, your energy level will and the chance to have a baby could be harder.

From experience getting pregnant when you are older ain't as easy as they make you think all of those younger years ago! If you are going to wait another 2 years, You really should do a Full fertility check up..my tubes were blocked but we did not know that for TWO years of trying to get pregnant and then I was right away, but it could of been two years earlier and a lot less worry. Maybe even try and harvest some eggs and just.

If you are getting married, look into it sooner..really..it is forever what is the wait?..you will have regreats and worries that you should not have, his body will not change.

And it is harder in ways being an 'oler' mom, the other moms are 10-15 years younger there are issues you will nto expect.Unless you are in L.A. , N/Y. or Ausitn..you will be the older mom.

I just wanted to tell you how is can be. I love my son, but I could of had a 2nd child if we had started earlier with no preemie worries. Good Luck!

You've gotten a lot of good advice here, so I'll just echo it and give my encouragement. I got pregnant at 43 after not trying particularly hard and had a very smooth pregnancy and textbook average delivery, with no drugs. You're doing the right things by keeping in shape and eating right; make sure you get plenty of folic acid. Like a previous poster, I recommend Taking Charge of Your Fertility--it's a great book.And while I understand where the other mothers are coming from who say you should start trying right away, I would just add the obvious--having children will change your life forever and have a huge impact on your relationship. If you're both sure you want kids right away, that is wonderful, but if you want to have some time to settle in as a married couple before having kids, there's nothing wrong with that either. Best of luck!

I was worried about age, too, at 36. As well as all the info telling me that after being on the pill for so many years it would take several months for my body to get back on a regular ovulation schedule. Ummm, not so much. I got pregnant the first month we tried! We now have a beautiful 22 month old daughter. She's perfect in every way and I had an easy pregnancy. We are trying for baby number two now. I hope to be able to have our second right before my 38th birthday!
Your body knows just what to do and your stomach will help to tell you what you should or shouldn't eat before you realize it is happening. Enjoy your pregnancy, have your husband do everything he can for you ... it's the last chance you have to be the center of his universe! Good luck.

K.,

The first time I got pregnant I was 37. Unfortunately we lost that pregnancy. I ended up asking my OB to start testing us because of my age after 6 more months of trying without success. I don't remember the test they did but you go to the hospital and they 'clean you out' with iodine and then take pictures. This is really to see if there are any obstruction with your uterus or philopian tubes. Everything was fine with me. The reason I'm telling you this is because it is very easy to get pregnant after this test. Sure enough we got pregnant that month. I had just turned 39 when she was born.
We did have the early risk assessment test done. They recommend this for anyone over 35. Mine came back as though I was a 20 year old which was great news. However at the 18 week ultrasound my daughter had echogenic bowels. This means the intestents showed up as brightly as bones do on the ultrasound. This is an indicator of Downs Syndrome or Spinabifida. We had an amnio done and it came back that everything was fine. However it was a scary few weeks.
I don't know if there really is anyway to be sure of an easy pregnancy but because you are leading a healthy life style you are already a step ahead of most people and definitely doing what is best for you and your hopefully soon to be baby.
Good luck, relax, enjoy and have fun with the pregnancy. However it will be a walk in the park for you.

L. M

What an exciting time for you! I'm 35 and had my son in July. I would recommend having your thyroid levels checked if you can before getting pregnant or when you become pregnant. I had no idea I had a thyroid issue (none in my family, and I am very active and eat healthy) until I became pregant and I actually had a miscarriage very early on with my first pregnancy. I don't know if thyroid issues are age related or fertility related but I have learned many women have them in their 30's. I began taking medication right away and had a heathly pregnancy the 2nd time while keeping my thyroid levels in check. Its a simple blood test your OBGYN can order. Good luck and be well!

Well I was 34 when i got pregnant and 35 when she was born. They will have you take test to make sure the little one is fine for down syndrom and other things. We had a great preg. She is a healthy 30 month ld and keeping me busy all day long. You execise and eat well so i bet you will be fine

Tick tock. Just do it. If you are healthy and want this: you're already "prepared". Go for it!!!!

Hi K.,
It sounds like you are doing all the right things. I would plan on continuing what you are doing and then start trying sooner rather than later. It may take no time or it may take time. I had my first child at age 30 1/2, but we had been trying for several years. I also took Clomid, then finally got pregnant. I had no problem getting pregnant with my second. But, I didn't have my third until I was 38. It is definitely harder to have a baby and deal with the sleepless nights when you are older (it was hard but manageable when I was 30)plus I had more obligations then. So, things didn't go exactly as I had planned, but I am still happy with my family the way it is. I would also suggest reading some parenting books and taking some classes when you are pregnant to help you prepare for parenting. Good Luck to you and your boyfriend!

Folic Acid-- a definate!! Best of luck!! L. C.

I agree with the previous poster -- if you take care of yourself and want this, you're prepared. I got pregnant for the first time at age 42 and gave birth to a healthy boy at age 43. This is easy to say and sometimes hard to do, but I think if you don't put too much pressure on yourself, you're in the best possible place.

I would recommend the book, "Fertility, Cycles, and Nutrition" - she has great pre-conception nutrition advice. There are several good books out there on this...another amazing one is "Healing our Children" by Ramiel Nigel - addresses preconception, pregnancy, and postpartum health!

Hi K.,

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding. My advice on pregnancy. Stay healthy and increase folic acid (helps prevent neural tube defects; spinal bifida etc.) Also get a dental checkup pregnancy can be difficult on the teeth.

Most important, don't wait. At this point fertility does begin to drop off and the chance for certain birth defects increases. Of course, there are options out there for fertility issues but none are better than not delaying!

A little about me: 48 year old mother of 4; ages 29, 23, 9 and 7. (you do the math!)

Best Wishes and God Bless!

Why wait? If you start trying now, you may get pregnant right away or you may be trying for awhile. Think about your family size, it may be harder to get pregnant with your 2nd, 3rd child and you of course will be older. I am 36 and concerned about getting pregnant at my age with my 2nd. We have started trying recently because we don't want a large age gap between the two and because of my age. I wish you and your fiance the best of luck in your marriage and family planning!

I agree with other posts - I got married at age 36 and got pregnant at age 39. I was the same as you - VERY fitness oriented, in great shape with a healthy diet and lifestyle. A word of caution, I actually bought those ovulation kits and according to them I never ovulated, so I thought I would have trouble getting pregnant. We never actually "started trying", I didn't worry about it and got pregnant by accident (we failed ot use a condom once and that was it). When I didn't get my period my first thought was that I had early menopause, but my breasts hurt so much after a few days it occurred to me to do a pregnancy test. I was shocked to see it positive! ANyway, I had a healthy baby girl at age 40 and she's 18 months old now, the best thing ever. Just relax about it - stressing will absolutely impact on the situation. My doctor said it's easier to take care of a healthy 40 year old pregnancy than a much younger pregnant woman that isn't thrilled about having a baby.

Best of luck!!

K.,

At 38, I met my husband and married him two months after I turned 40. Until that very minute, my thoughts ahd always focused on "wait until you're married to get pregnant", so we spent a lot of time trying to prevent pregnancy.

I had always been keenly aware of my ovulation because I was extremely regular. We went on our honeymoon and my husband joked that he wanted to get me pregnant. I knew that the timing was off, so much so that I looked at him on the plane ride home from Hawaii and said "I'm ovulating."

We laughed it off, but when we got home, he again joked that we should try. Well, try we did, and I think I was more prepared mentally for six months of disappointment than for what happened 10 days later, when I tested positive.

We now have a gorgeous 19-month-old daughter who was born three weeks before my 41st birthday. Each person is different, and I really wasn't as prepared as you sound, mentally or physically.

I think the biggest determining factor is to not get too uptight - stress monkeys with your system and can cause you to not be as prepared as you think. This is the best thing I've ever done in my life... and I am at the point where, if it happens again, great, if it doesn't, it wasn't meant to be!

Enjoy...and congratulations!

Call your doctor, sooner rather than later, and have him/her do a blood test to check your reserve. This will tell you if you have a good egg reserve or not in which case you may want to start asap and/or make fertility treatments part of the process.

Hi,

I just had my first baby 2 days before my 38th birthday. It took us three years and a lot of heartache, but we have a healthy beautiful daughter.

My opinion is to decide how much of a priority this is for you. If it is number one, then who needs a marriage certificate to start trying? (if you and your boyfriend are both really ready) Three of my friends who are my age or older did the pregnant while engaged thing because you never know how long it will take and planning a wedding can be stressful so they dealt with one thing at a time.

Also, I understand that you want to avoid fertility treatments, but there is a wide range of tests and treatments. Even if I didn't want to do fertility treatments (we did end up having to use IVF to have a viable pregnancy) I would recommend going to a specialist after 6 months of trying just to get a few tests done. There are some conditions that are treatable (and some that aren't) that can effect your fertility. If you should happen to find out that you can't get pregnant without assistance then you can make some informed choices (treatment, adoption etc). Personally I feel like it would be devastating to try on your own for a long time, then decide to get tests only to find out that you weren't able to get pregnant on your own - especially at this age. Although most infertility unexplained.

If you decide that having children is something you would like, but only if it happens totally on your own then just make sure your prenatal has lots of folic acid and limit your caffeine and alcohol. Have your partner avoid hot baths, hot tubs, heated seats, and limit alcohol etc for a few months before you start trying.

You will also need to discuss this with your boyfriend. Are you going to just casually try for a few months (meaning not tracking your ovulation, temp, blah blah blah) or are you going to get serious about it right away. You will hear of people who get pregnant on their first try (or without trying) and they are super fortunate, but I think there are a lot more people out there (especially those of us who are AMA Advanced Maternal Age -yuck!) who had trouble. My husband and I had different opinions on this. He was looking forward to the "Trying" and I was just feeling the clock ticking and wanted to get serious about timing and tracking.

So anyway, at some point have an open discussion about expectations etc with your boyfriend.

I wish you the best of luck, try to avoid stress, and I hope you have a healthy baby soon.

D.

K.,
Congrats on your decision to start a family. Here are a few things that our fertility docs. had me do to help me get pregnant. Obviously, stop drinking alcohol, make sure to take 400mcg daily of folic acid (http://www.marchofdimes.com/pnhec/173_769.asp describes why you should) and it was suggested to stop using caffeine, which I never did on my previous treatments but finally stopped and had my first successful treatment. Probably a coincidence but worth a shot. They test the thyroid right away as well so that's probably worth having your general practitioner do on your next check up. The other things they suggested you are already doing! I'm sure you'll get pregnant right away.

Congratulations on your marriage and pregnancy plans - very exciting! I had my first at 35 and my second at 40. A few things I would recommend to be aware of:
(1) thyroid/hormonal issues - have your dr. run a blood test and make sure your levels are normal (e.g. low thyroid can contribute to infertility; it prevented my mom from getting pregnant with her second for years; turns out I had low thyroid too and got it adjusted prior to trying to become pregnant);
(2) I read a study that said women who eat lots of high-fat dairy (ice cream, cheese) - NOT low fat - have a much easier time getting pregnant. Maybe coincidence - but my weakness is high fat dairy and I had no problem conceiving two kids after the age of 35;
(3) Have lots of sex throughout the month! My first dr. convinced me that I wouldn't ovulate until about 2 weeks after my period. So when my husband and I were trying for our first but both traveling a lot for work, we would schedule "baby making time" on the dr.'s schedule. It didn't work - I ovulate a whole week earlier (and never could figure out those darn temperature readings). The first time we coincidentally happened to be in town at the right time for my cycle, boom - pregnant. So don't assume your dr./the advice books are accurate.
(4) bulk up on the folic acid - I gather it's key for pregnancy success too (I was also taking prenatals prior to getting pregnant)
Sounds like you are in great shape otherwise! Good luck!