Hi Everyone!
I have read many requests with similar problems and have tried so many things already will no response.
My son will be 2 December 1st. He is a breastfed baby, and very attached to me. He has only slept through the night a handful of times in 2 years. He was sleeping in his crib until June when he found he could climb out. When he was in a crib I could make him cry it out and go back to sleep. I had to switch him to a toddler bed. He slept ok for a few nights then started walking to my room in the middle of the night. We tried to put him back in, but of course he would keep coming back. We tried TV, nightlights, reading books, snuggly animals and blankets, me sleeping in his room, moving him into his brothers room, music, closing the door and trying to wait him out... Nothing is working. He knows how to open the door so he just comes out. I have just purchased him a twin bed because it seemed he was uncomfortable in such a little bed. He loves his bed and will go to bed fine. Actually people think its so great that he says he is ready for bed and just goes and gets in alone. I can also say its time for bed and he automatically says night and goes to his room. I just can't keep him there all night. I have noticed that he wakes up screaming sometimes. It seems like night terrors. I have asked the pediatrician what he suggests and he gave me a title of a book to read.. the book told us to do the same things we have already tried. He still loves to breastfeed at night. I tried stopping that as well. That lasted a few weeks, but now I have relented and started feeding at night so I can sleep.
I just want one night alone with my husband without a cute little blond hair blue eyed boy in the middle!
Any Advice!!!!
I think that I should have mentioned that we moved to a new house in a different state in with family temporarily. Crying it out was an option until he began waking up other members of the household. I was "warned" to keep him quiet so others could sleep. My husband and I feel trapped because of this. Next weekend the addition will be finished so my son will have his own room again, and the other memebers of the household will be on a different floor. At this time we were planning on gating his room.
Thank you to everyone that has responded thus far! I appreciate any and all advice on the subject.
I have a 3 year old daugther and she gave me hard time to sleep at her toddler bed too. The rule for us is the consistency and the rule for the child is the sunrise rule. She can't come out from the bed until the sunrise after that she can come and snuggle with us in the bed. Reminding her the sunrise rule everytime she goes to bed is the key and consistency is the only way for us to teach them anything.
When my son was this age he tried the same thing and after a few sleepless nights, I finally locked my bedroom door. Sure he cried and howled but that only lasted a few min. then he wandered back to his own room, climbed into bed and went to sleep.
Your first respondant gave good advice. Also, they have doorknob covers that might prevent him from getting out of the room in the first place. We had to duct tape ours together because our 3-year-old could break it apart to open the door. But now, if the boys (our 3-year-old shares a room with his younger brother, who is almost 2) aren't cooperating at bed time (getting out of bed, making repeated requests for water or Kleenex, etc.), we tell them we will shut the door, which they don't like because then it's dark (although they have a night light) and they can't get out of the room. So the doorknob cover would not prevent your son from getting out of bed or crying at the door, but it would prevent him from leaving the room. Perhaps if you were consistent about either not letting him out (just talk to him through the door and say it's time to go back to bed) or about opening the door only to put him back in bed -- no snuggling or nursing -- he would quickly learn that trying to leave the room is futile.
My advice is to come up with a plan that you know you can stick to and then by all means, stick to it!!
If you've decided to be done nursing, be done. If you don't want him sleeping in your bed, don't let him. After a few nights or most likely a few weeks, of the exact same routine, he'll figure it out.
Every time he gets out of bed, you gently (but firmly) put him back. Every time, no matter what. If he gets rewarded even 1 night out of 10 with nursing, snugging, or co-sleeping, he will keep getting up hoping to repeat that result.
I've been there to and consistency was the only answer. Good luck!
Have you tried either putting a childproof doorknob cover on the inside of his door or a gate to keep him in there? After a few days he may realize that he can't get out and climb in bed and go to sleep. At nap time my son knows he can't get out so he plays with some toys and eventually climbs back into bed but at first he cried and cried but finally realized he wasn't getting out, you just have to go to his room every so often and reassure him you are still there but it's night night time.
Sorry, i have no magic answer here, especially b/c it seems you have tried about everything!
I would try having dad be in charge of putting him back to bed, b/c mom and nursing is so much more alluring to our tots ;-0
Hyland brand remedies (homeopathic) make a "calm forte" for children. It has helped in this home to take the edge out of sleeping. Also, I would consider making sure any and all stimulates were removed by , like 3:30. No sugar, juice, etc... quiet play by 5:00 for sure. No tv, etc...
And talk to him. Prepare him for sleeping all night in bed like a big boy. "He has a big boy bed - he has to sleep in it like a big boy!" "we get up with the sun, but not when it's dark out". My kids say goodnight to the sun and hello to the night sky and they know it's bedtime. (yes, this is trickier in the summer! lol!)
but it's been good in my home.
Best of luck to you!
SOunds like you're doing a great job.
I have a two year old who used to do the same thing!! He would just come out of the room and say no sleep-now I have those door handles that he cant open sohe has to go to bed 75% of the time he doesnt even get out of bed and the other 25% of the time once he realizes he cant get out he climbs back into bed. At first it took a lot of backrubbing, singing, and such. I work early early AMs and my husband works second so we are exhausted and we found when we let him climb in bed he would just sleep until like 7 if that but if we put him in his own bed he is sleeping until 8 sometimes 9! It did take a period of crying it out but in the long run it was worth it!! We also left the crib up because of the baby and sometimes he wants to sleep in it-I think they are soothed being all snuggled up in a crib so sometimes he sleeps in the pack n play or crib. We also use an aquarium because he liked that he can turn it on and off...I hope you get some rest soon!!
Hi there,
A trick my neighbor taught us was to turn the handle around on his door so it locks from the outside. Our doorknobs are not round, therefore the locks do not fit, not to mention the craftiness of 2 year old boys when it comes to dismantling just about anything. He is still in a crib, so we haven't crossed that bridge yet, but we have started compiling our bag of tricks. As far as weaning goes, we had a weekend of what my husband called "baby bootcamp". I went away for the weekend and left the nights to him. Your son gets some good one on one with dad, and you get some well-deserved time away. I thought for sure my son would be looking to nurse when I returned, but do my surprise he didn't. He slept through the night from then on. Good luck.
What concerns me, aside from your privacy and rest, is that HE is not getting enough sleep! A child this age needs uninterrupted sleep.
It sounds like you have tried many things, but I wonder if you have stuck to any routine long enough to make it a habit? You sleeping in his room is not a good plan - it gets him to sleep but it encourages him to seek you out when he wakes up. He needs to learn to self-soothe and to calm himself without the breast.
You can put one of those childproof doorknob covers on the inside of his room so that he cannot open the door. You need to explain to him about why you are doing it, of course. I think you need to choose a method that you believe in and then stick with it no matter what. For example, if you do "cry it out", then DO IT. If you choose another one, then stick with that one. Don't keep trying so many options. Most involve some sort of reassurance to the child - for example, with cry it out, you go back in first at 5 minutes, then at 15, then at 25, and so on. You pat his back but you don't pick him up or nurse him or read a book. Eventually they fall asleep and know that you will be there in the morning. It doesn't build a habit or any security for your son if you keep trying methods. As long as you relent when he screams long enough, he will scream. I understand that you wanted to try a couple of approaches to see what worked, but now that you know what they are, pick one and absolutely stick with it. With infants, it usually takes around 4-5 days at the most. It might take longer with an older child already set in his ways, but you can do this. You must do this for him and for yourselves!
Good luck and hang in there. Remember that it is ultimately for his benefit.
No advice, just a btdt :) To be fair, we voluntarily co-sleep here, but my son just moved into his own ____@____.com I also have a 4 yo & a 1 yo still in our bed. And the 4yo nursed at night until she was 3.5.
I truly understand that our choices are not the best for everyone. Just wanted you to know that it's not uncommon for kids to want to be w/their parents for longer :)
I have had really good success with getting children to sleep through the night by providing them with chiropractic care. I had one mother come in with twins and for 6 months had not had more than 2 hours sleep a night because when one went down, the other woke up. Within 2 to 3 visits, they were sleeping through the night. Another mother of a 2 year old like yourself found me through her le leche league. She had not had more than 2 to 4 hours sleep a night for 2 years! after the first visit her little girl was sleeping more than 4 hours and within 3 or 4 visits was sleeping through the night. Chiropractic for babies is very gentle, just finger pressures. The chiropractic care removes irritation to the children's nervous system and they tend to sleep much better. The children I mentioned did not have to come all the time. Just the few visits seemed to do the trick. If you are near the Peabody area, you can get my contact information on my web site at www.blomerthchiro.com. If you are too far away, you can go to www.masschiro.org to find a chiropractor near you. You want to look for one who is comfortable treating children. Their site will normally say something like family chiropractic or pediatric chiropractor. I hope this information helps.
Dr. E.
Hi M.,
We've had a baby gate across our daughter's doorway since we moved her into the big girl bed and it works great for us. We have a pressure-mounted Summer gate that has a swinging door. It took a bit of fiddling and experimenting to get the regular door to close with the gate there, but it's worked for us for over a year. Good luck!
I feel your pain......my 8 year old still wakes during the night!! My girls are also breastfed kids-they were weaned at 15 months each.You need to set aside at least a weekend to be consistant with no more breast and when he wakes calmly walk him back to his bed (no talking)and no matter how many times he gets up keep on bringing him back. I speak from experience especially the night terror aspect-if he is visually in distress from a night terror sit with him until he is calm-he may still be sleeping and not respond but he knows he is safe. It is heartbreaking more for you to brake this cycle but it does work!!! Keep the faith-you will sleep again (with your hubby):0)
My son is 3 and sleeps through the night ONLY because he sleeps with me...and he has since birth.
I don't mind it...in fact I enjoy it. Considering that everyone in your house needs their sleep, I'd say don't fight it...however all of you can get a full nights sleep...do it...even if it means having your child sleep with you...within a year...your son will do fine in his own bed.
As far as time with hubby is concerned...perhaps you two have your "time" as soon as your child goes to sleep in his own bed before he comes back into yours? If that's the only time you can get...take it.
Keep us updated and good luck :)
I remember watching Supernanny a while back and in these situations she would have the parents just keep putting the kids back to bed without any interaction. No eye contact or or words. Just pick them up, place them in bed and leave. Eventually the kids would give up and go to bed. Maybe you can try this technique on friday and just expect a few sleepless nights. It always seemed to work on the show! (Because we all know we can trust TV ;) )
My son would come out of his room during nap time so I put a child safety knob on the door and that worked for us. Fortunately my son didn't get upset about about it-once he figured out he couldn't get out he'd amuse himself with toys and or take a nap. I'm guessing your son would probably be really unhappy about it but at least it will break the cycle. Maybe if you go in when he first wakes up to give a hug and say "It's still night time" and then leave. He'll know you're still there but that coming out of the room is not an option.
Good luck!
