17 Month Old with a TEMPER !! Aaahh! HELPPP!!

Been there done that and you have my sympathy. All you can really do is let her know it is unacceptable. Place her in her room or somewhere safe and allow her to "go off". Eventually she'll realize that you are not reacting to the temper tantrum and hopefully will stop.

I think we've all been there, the "coming inside fit" is still a popular one in my house. I tell my little one that we won't be able to go out anymore if she's going to ruin it with a fit.
Ignoring it really is the best thing you can do, or try to find a way to get something fun in as soon as you come in, something she really likes, or a small treat even. It helps if I bring my girls in and send them right to the tub.

Hi K., I know how you feel. When my daughter was old enought to walk she started throughing fits if she didn't get her way also. She would screem for HOURS!! The best thing to do is let her screem. She just might make her self sick, I know my daughter has many times. When they are in a full blown tantrum trying to give them toys or anything can only prolong the fit. Part of the reason for the fit is to controll but if you walk away until she calms down then she will get the point that your not giving in. I know its hard to leave her like that but it does work. My daughter is now 7 an although still has these fits they don't last anywhere near as long as they use to.

Make sure she has structure. Set dinner times, bed times, etc. Make sure you discipline her when she is misbehaving, only reward good behavior with attention. When you run and get her stuff, that only gives her her way, therefor she will keep doing it. Time outs work good. It sounds like she needs more scheduled in her day to make her feel secure. Keep certain times for everything.

Hi, I just wanted to let you know that I know exactly what you are feeling. I have a 16 month girl who is usually extremely calm and easy going but about two weeks ago started freaking out all the time throwing temper tantrums. Any little thing would cause a tantrum, from not giving her juice to getting her dressed. She would scream not for just 10-15 minuntes but an hour or so or until she started vomitting. We couldn't find anything to calm her down not even candy. I took her to the doctor just to get checked out and she did have an ear infection but the doctor said for the most part it was an early case of the terrible twos. I just hope that by the time she actually is two she'll be done. Hope it gets better, I know how frustrating it is.

My 22-month daughter could stay outside for hours, and she also gets VERY upset when I just say, "Okay, time to go in now" and pick her up. You really have to give a toddler time to adjust to the idea of going in!

Now I say, "I'm getting hungry! How about you? In a few minutes we're going inside to eat. Are you going to help me? We'll put on your apron, and you can help me get the (plastic) plates and cups, and get the food ready. Doesn't that sound good?" (note: excited tone of voice is key!)

I try to make the plans sound like they're more fun than being outside...if you make it seem like a chore (ie., don't say "Sorry, we have to go in now for dinner" with a sad tone of voice) she won't want to do it. Plus, many little kids LOVE to be "big helpers," so take advantage of that!

My daughter might still be a little upset once it's actually time to go in, but when I remind her again what the plans were, she doesn't throw a tantrum.

But if she does get mad once we're inside, I remind her that we can go out again after we eat to "close up," which means "checking" that the garage, basement and car doors are locked, and taking out the garbage/recycling...it's just something we can do rather quickly, and since she knows that it's time to "close up" instead of play, she doesn't give us a hard time once the job is done and it's time to go back inside to read books and play with her dolls.

Good luck!

P.S.- This is what I do to head off tantrums. I agree that if she does end up throwing a full-blown fit, it's best to ignore it!!! You shouldn't purposely leave her alone (that just seems to make my daughter more upset...and she'll probably follow you to another room anyway) but just go about making dinner like usual.

I definately can relate! I would also ignore it if possible. I have a playpen set up in a room and just put my toddler in it and leave until he's quiet. Sounds harsh, but he has figured out that it does no good to throw a tantrum. Welcome to the terrible 2's....it will be over before you know it. :)

I too have a 17 month old and he can throw a temper tantrum as well. For a full blown out tantrum, I do my best to ignore him, be lucky your daughter didn't get sick, because he does really easily and will do it on purpose. At this age you just need to do the best you can at sticking to what you say and not give in. The minute you do, they will walk all over you. I have a 5 yr old that still tries to get her way and yes she still throws tantrums when she is told "NO". For the most part all of this is a stage most kids go through. Good luck, with your daughter.

ok this will sound harsh but let her scream. once she is done put her in time out for 1 minute and once shes done tell her why she is there. trying to give her toys will only encourage the bad behavior so if you want it to stop let her scream it out the time out.

my son is one and began biting so i started time out-I know that at his age he doesnt understand timeout but it has stopped him from biting. we just sit him on a pillow by the hallway tell him why hes there and walk away (but stay in the room) he'll get bored sitting there and start to play but the little that he is there helps.
after 5 time in timeout (grand total maybe 3 minutes) he doesnt bite your knees anymore.

lots of luck.
K.

My daughter also has a willful temper. And I know how agonizing and helpless it can make you feel. My daughter's temper went through stages, It would be really bad, then get better, then get worse, then disappear all together for a while, it was strange. The only advise I can give you is to walk away. The more attention she gets and the more you try to make her feel better just seems to feed the temper monster. I would say to my daughter, let me know when you are done, and walk away. Soon the fits got shorter, and toward the end of some, she would actually let me hold her a bit.

Well, welcome to the terrible twos. The scary thing is, I think it gets worse at 3 before it gets better. Kidss this age do not reason, and they only know what they want at the moment, even if that is not what is best for them. Honestly, I would do your best to completely ignore the tantrum. THe more you try to appease her, the more she will get used to displaying the behavior to get what she wants! Those little buggers are smarter than we give them credit for sometimes. Trust me, I went through this with both of mine, and my son just turned two. The best advice I can give for a tantrum is ignore it. If she does it in public, ignore it if possible but if it escalates, GET OUT! Just leave your cart or whatever and go out to the car. Believe me, the next time she's in a store she will know you mean business!! It may sound harsh , but if you nip it in the bud now, you will be MUCH happier when you see your average 5 year old throwing a fit in a store and your child knows to not even go there. ;)

Wow, you've been given great advice. The only thing I'd NOT do is put a child that young in time out. She's just too young to fully understand the concept. Age two is the accepted minimum for this technique.

Make sure to use your "authority voice" when what you want her to do is not open to negotiation. Instead of saying "honey, it's time to go in, okay?" say, "We're going inside in three minutes" then two, then one, then "We're going inside now" and start walking towards the door. If she doesn't follow, ask her if she can walk all by herself like a big girl, or does she need you to help her get inside.