16Th Birthday of Our Daughter.

I honestly don't remember my 16th birthday. After 13, I don't think I had another birthday party. I just didn't have an interest in it. Offer her a couple of options of what you would be willing to do. Let her choose. If she doesn't want to do anything big, enjoy a quiet family dinner. I think those are the best celebrations.

My mom and are are big baseball fans, but we root for rival teams. We also share a birthday. When my mom saw that our favorite teams were playing each other on our birthday, she bought two tickets for us. I got to miss school!!! (My parents NEVER let me miss school.). It was an amazing day, and one of the best memories.

Think about something that she would love. It doesn't have to be a Sweet Sixteen party or a car. Not everyone wants the traditional gifts. What would mean something to your daughter?

My daughter went to Europe on a school related trip a couple of months before her 16th birthday. When she presented me with the paper work, including the $4200 price tag, I said, okay, I want you to go, but you have to know this is a lot of money for us, so it will likely be your 16th birthday present and next year's Christmas present, and so on.

And she was cool with that. She'd be cool with anything, since she never asks for anything, and I have to either guess, or pry it out of her.

Of course, I couldn't get her NOTHING on that day, so I wrote out a card and told her how impressed I was with all her life's choices and how honored I am to be her mother. I stuck a $100 Amazon gift card in the card which I said I wouldn't do, but geez, the kid is awesome.

Before the trip came about, she wanted to spend 2 nights in a gorgeous historic hotel we have here in Saratoga (again, my suggestion she was good with, not that she would ever ask for that). Her and a gf. Get dressed up in her room, go down for dinner, dancing afterwards. We adults would stay too, in an adjoining room, that was fine with her.

I really just wanted her to know how pleased I am with her at the 16 year point, you know? And there's only one way to achieve that.

:)

My daughter recently turned 21, she's a senior in college. I miss 16, we didn't have volatile teen tears. I bought her a brand new California limited edition VW Jetta before she turned 16. With both parents driving company cars we had to buy one and I wasn't going to buy a clunker so she could get stranded somewhere. She is a great driver and took such great care of it.

For her actual birthday she went to the beach with about 20 friends. They stayed into the evening and had a bonfire and a blast. I was not invited, it was a friend day. We went to our favorite restaurant the next night

I love that kid...I mean young lady.

Sounds like she's not much into parties. My oldest daughter is like this, but of course I wanted to do something special. So I suggested a dinner out with her closest friends at a fun restaurant. She picked Benihana and invited 7 or 8 girls. I let the girls have dinner on their own and showed up at the end to pay the bill and hand out cupcakes. It was a hit!

Dinner (on you) with the extended family at a restaurant of her choosing and a charm bracelet.

ETA: As I look back on how my parents raised us, I wish that family and sibling closeness was instilled more as a priority. Friends come and go.

For my daughter's 16th, she officially got her driver license and car. She had waited and been anxious for years to get a car and driving. She loves her independence and always has.

SO, we reserved a private room on one of her favorite restaurants for her and 5 of her friends. We stayed back... All of the girls dressed up in nice dresses. They had a nice dinner at the restaurant (our treat) and then they went to place close by that has a dessert that they all loved and had dessert (our treat) then they all ended up sleeping over for the night.

Pretty low key and they all had a nice time.

Before anyone says anything... per the driver license rule in TX, she could not drive her friends to the restaurant. You can only have teen in the car with you for a year before the rules ease up. I am glad for that rule. She drove 1 friend and the other girls took 1 friend or single car per girl.

Our daughter wanted to go out to eat and invite some friends.. So easy to do. We then had an impromptu sleep over. It was only 3 girls so not a big deal.

When I and my friends were turning 16 we seemed to be doing lots of surprise parties. My best friends mom called me and asked if I would organize it. She gave me a generous budget to work with. Their family went out to dinner that evening and when they returned, we were all there waiting for him to open the front door. Scared him so bad he jumped back and gave a yell, none of us has let him forget! Awesome good times.

Ask her but also give her some choices. A party with dancing, a sleep over with girl friends, maybe an all weekend family trip. Camping with friends. Tickets to an event, concert, play, dinner out with a certain number of friends.

My daughter told me she didn'T want a party. Perhaps your daughter doesn'T want to celebrate. I think her Dad and I took her and a friend out to dinner at a restaurant of her choice.

Perhaps she can'T think of a way. It's a good idea to get ideas that she can choose from.

When my daughter turned 16, she had planned to go to homecoming with a group of girlfriends. We treated all of the friends to dinner at a nice restaurant, and then a limo ride to the dance.

She has been blessed to have a very wonderful group of young women friends since we moved here when she was in middle school.

This is her senior year in HS, and these friends will be heading off in literally ALL directions after graduation. We will have several BIG celebrations after graduation and over the summer.

There will no doubt be LOTS of tears, but I think the foundation has been laid for these young women to be friends for life.

That is rare. They are lucky!

best to your daughter on HER sweet 16!

I think sometimes teens don't answer because they don't really know - this is a time of questioning and change for them. They sometimes are comforted by the types of parties they had as kids (cake, ice cream, parents) but also are feeling a little more independent and wonder if they should not be doing something that is "uncool". If they are in some ups & downs with their friends, they are afraid to invite peers to something that doesn't "measure up" or that their friends might decline to attend. Fear of rejection can be a factor.

Without knowing your daughter's likes and dislikes, it's hard to give ideas. If she'd like a family dinner and is a little bit adventurous, you could do something a little out of the realm of the typical pizza & soda routine. I live in the same town you do, so I'd suggest the Melting Pot (fondue restaurant) in Framingham, or Bocado (tapas restaurant) in Worcester. Both have a variety of menu items and the chance to taste a little of a lot of things. These are places she isn't going to go with her friends. If she likes something a little tamer, there are plenty of neat places on Shrewsbury Street in Worcester. Sometimes just getting out of her own town and not going to the mall is a good thing.

You could try gifts in a "16" theme with a few gift certificates in $16 or $32 - you can do most gift cards from stores in any amount, vs. the purchased cards from the supermarket that are only in the $20 or $25 denominations. If you like the Lottery, you could buy her 16 $1 cards since she's not old enough to buy her own. I'm not a big Lottery fan, but one of my stepdaughters thought this was the greatest gift in the universe.

You could also take one or two of her friends to one of the great museums in Boston and let them take off by themselves for a while - the Museum of Science has some great movies that are suitable for a lot of ages. A lot of teens like the IMAX theater there as well as the exhibits, and there's an IMAX theater at Jordan's Furniture in Framingham too. Not the usual theater fare if she and her friends like movies. If she likes art, the Boston and Worcester Art Museums are great, with a wide variety of exhibits.

Our son's youth group used to take the kids on occasion to the Improv Asylum in the North End - it's an improve comedy club similar to the TV show "Whose Line Is It Anyway". It's not so great for younger kids so if you have plans to take younger siblings, it's not appropriate due to the type of humor. But it's a hilarious performance based on audience suggestions (she doesn't have to participate if she's shy), and then you could go for a nice meal or some great hot chocolate and cannoli dessert nearby. Let her take a few friends and you can sit separately from her! We sat behind our son and 4 friends, and watched them roar.

Maybe if you give her a list of 4 or 5 suggested choices, she can pick one or at least start with one and "edit" it a little bit?

Good luck!

We actually kept it simple. A friend booked the clubhouse at her condo, we invited my daughter's friends, bought lots of pizza, soda, assorted junk food, and a boom box.
The kids brought their favorite cd's and they ate and danced for several hours.

For my daughter's 16th she didn't want a party. She did want to get together with my family so we went to Mall of America and met my parents and my brother's family for lunch. We did a little shopping and took her to see Hunget Games (her request) and then stopped at a restaurant for some wings on the way home.
She didn't want the drama teen girls can sometimes bring to a group thing. Last summer she came home for a mission trip (spends summers with her dad) and her friends came over for a surprise party. She absolutely loved it and was completely shocked. She has a good group of friends.

What does your daughter like to do? It doesn't have to be a huge elaborate thing, just centered around what she likes to do. For my 16th, I went out for dinner with girlfriends and a guy I was kinda seeing showed up at the dinner. It was fun and a nice surprise.

M.,

For my 16th? My parents took me and some girlfriends (it was 4 or 5) out to dinner at one of the expensive restaurants in town...we got to dress up nice - and before we went out my mom and the girls had manicures and pedicures done. We went shopping for dresses.

Since my birthday is near the beginning of the year, we couldn't go to the beach since it was too cold!!

The weekend following my birthday? We went to Glamis and rode our ATVs...I got to bring 2 friends with me for that.

It would help if you told us what your daughter likes to do. Does she have any hobbies? What does she like to do with her girlfriends?

Does she get along well with her 11 year old sister??

Look at your budget and what you can afford, then start popping ideas out. If your daughter knows money is tight? She probably won't make many suggestions for fear of breaking the bank.

Is your daughter shy? Maybe she doesn't want a big ta-do and doesn't want to be the center of attention...TALK WITH HER!!! Let her know that this is an important milestone to you - but this is really HER DAY...what does SHE want to do???

we didn't do 16th parties but did 18th parties.