14Month Old Won't Sleep Through the Night

Updated on November 13, 2008
T.T. asks from Chicago, IL
11 answers

My sister has a 14month old son that won't sleep through the night (he has never slept all the way through the night). They live in a 2 bedroom apartment, and she has a 15year old daughter from a previous marriage. Since the daughter has her own room, the son sleeps in the bedroom with the parents practically within arms-length of the bed. I wondered if anyone else has been in or knows of someone in this situation and can help with any suggestions. He wakes up one to two times during the night. They have tried just letting him cry, but she says that most of the time he just keeps crying until he's having a major fit or it just makes him become wide awake. They have to pick him up and rock him back to sleep. She is also still nursing him at least once a day (sometimes at night to get him back to sleep). Thanks!

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A.H.

answers from Chicago on

Greetings T. T I think they should try moving the baby farther away from their sleeping area possibly share a room with his sister. He has become dependent to mom and now knows how to control them. He recognizes he has a routine and his parents (mom) will give in and give him what he wants.

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D.K.

answers from Chicago on

My daughter didn't sleep through the night until she was 18 months old. I feel your sister's pain. What we ended up having to do was get her to fall asleep on her own. I had always nursed and/or rocked her to sleep. It was very hard to get her to go to sleep on her own at that age and it took us a long time since I didn't believe in letting her cry by herself until she fell asleep. I would put her in her crib and tell her that it was time to lie down. She wouldn't do it at first so I told her that mommy had to leave if she didn't lie down and then I would leave for a minute and come back and if she wasn't lying down I would do it again and leave for 2 minutes. I never left her for more than 4 minutes. She eventually learned that if she lied down I would stay with her. Once we got to that point I started leaving while she was still awake. There was a little protest, but not nearly as bad as before. In the meantime, we also had to take her pacifier away. She got a skin infection and the doctor said no pacifier. I think that actually helped too, since she didn't lose her pacifier in the middle of the night. That separation was much easier than I expected it to be.

I hope this helps. Tell your sister to hang in there. My daughter is 2 now and goes to sleep in a "big girl bed" all by herself and sleeps all night on her own. Every now and then she wakes up and needs mom or dad and we still go in but we calmly tell her that it is still night-night time and give her a hug and a kiss and maybe stay a couple minutes, then we leave and she goes back to sleep.

Good Luck,
D.

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N.S.

answers from Chicago on

My 2nd daughter was still waking up to be fed at 10 months. My doctor told me that she was waking up because she was used to getting those calories but she didn't need them. She should stop feeding him in the middle of the night. The fact that he is in their bedroom also might be a factor. We had to let our daughter cry herself to sleep and it was hard but did work after a while. Tell her good luck and I feel for her, it is hard, I know.

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C.T.

answers from Chicago on

From a medical point of view, sleep apnea is one thing you may want to ask the pediatrician about.

C. T.

R.S.

answers from Chicago on

It's not clear what your sister wants. Our goal for our children has been to create a positive, loving nighttime experience. I rock, snuggle and nurse as needed so that my children feel safe and know that if they wake up, I'm available. It is a lot of work. I appreciated my parents being available at night when I was a child (night was scary) and hope mine do too.

It has been common wisdom to let children cry themselves to sleep. However, have you seen the stats on how many american adults have sleep issues? Perhaps there's a correlation.

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A.M.

answers from Chicago on

This is pretty common with children when they are in the same room. the only solution that reliably works is to let him cry until he falls asleep. Initially this can take quite a long time but after a few days, it normally resolves. I amn't a huge fan of cry it out in general but for a few days so as to develop good sleep, it is often the only solution and will in the long run be good for him too as he will have more healthy and restful sleep. Breast feeding is great. It is really the training to fall to sleep himself that without feeding or a parent that still needs a little learning.

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H.C.

answers from Chicago on

My son didn't start sleeping through the night until around 18 months, and at 14 months he still needed one bottle in the middle of the night. Maybe have her try a bottle instead just to make it easier for her or her husband. Mine would not go back to sleep unless we fed him, and then he'd go to sleep fine. In a few months he grew out of it.

They could also switch off, with one wearing earplugs while the other is "on call."

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D.P.

answers from Chicago on

how long is nap time during the day? i.ve found that when they nap only once during the day say around 11, 12 or 1 no later than 1pm for 1-2 hours only. their tired by the end of the day. and i'm not one to tell mommy to stop breast feeding but it sounds like to me he's now in the habbit of having something in his mouth at bedtime,and being rocked to sleep. try a bottle for now then you must ignore them because they do know that eventually your going to come get them. also try putting them to bed maybe 30 mins before eveyone else after a warm bath, that way the crying dosen't disturb anyone.they eventually stop when they see "no ones going to come a runnin". also because they share a room , all the baby needs to see is somebody move just alittle bit when theyre crying and then they really get loud (smart little buggers, smile)its really something when you have to play like youre sleep through the screaming. but it does work.

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C.S.

answers from Chicago on

My 2 year old doesn't sleep "through the night" either. My older daughter didn't until she was 2 1/2.

I don't believe in letting them cry. I don't think letting anyone cry is a gentle method or a way to create a loving relationship.

This too shall pass. I think rocking and nursing him to sleep while he is still needing this is the right way to go.

Gentle parenting doesn't end at bed time

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G.H.

answers from Chicago on

I have friends that had a very small cape code home and used the upstairs closet as the crib/dresser room for their 3rd child. the 2 girls shared the bedroom that closet was in. They survived the tiny home for about 6 years and did just fine. Sometimes we have to think a little out of the box I guess.

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E.B.

answers from Chicago on

Tell your sister to bring him into her bed and nurse him whenever he wants. This will help him feel cared for, loved and comforted. This is really what everyone wants isn't it?

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