C.H.
A friend of mine also went through the ame problem with her daughter. She was very strict with the co-sleeping and when her daughter hit about 1 year old, she was sleeping less and less. It took a lot, but I convinced her to put her daughter in the crib one night and to her surprise her daughter slept 11 hours. I am not a co-sleeper, but on occasion one of my kids ends up in bed sith us. I find that they sleep horrible when they are in our bed. I have learned that as infants a baby can sleep in almost any position anywhere, which is why it s so hard to keep an infant awake. Once they hit about 10 months and tey gain their freedom through mobility, they can sleep in whatever position they want and sometimes it acutally takes them a minute to get their groove in bed. Maybe the movement of yourself and you husband during the night is disrupting his sleep. when he was youngerit didn't bother him, but now as he gets older he has his position and spot he is most comfortable in and any other movements in bed might disrupt that.
I understand that you are strong with having your son bond with your husband and I know that you have to charish those times, but maybe you should try a bedime routine that allows bonding. Try sitting and reading a few books, maybe singing a few songs, have him fall asleep with you guys and then put him in his crib. I know it will be tough at first, but he might end up getting a better night sleep, shich will allow you and your husband a better night sleep. My two older children didn't fall asleep in their beds alone until they were about 3. We would read and hav quiet time and they would fall asleep with me or my husband and we would put them in their bed. My youngest is 13 months old and she falls asleep with me every night and the we put her in her crib. right now she is sleeping anywhere from 10-11 hours at night and she is taking a 2-3 hour nap during the day.
Please don't take this as my being against co-sleeping, but maybe it is time for him to sleep alone. I do understand that while brastfeeding co-sleeping in optimal. Unfortunately I was unable to breastfeed my children, but would have loved to. I did notice though that the nights my baby did sleep with me it was a very uneasy night for all. If you do not want to put him in his room, try leeping him in your room, but in a crib or pack n play. See how that works for a few nights. It might surprise you. Then you can judge for yourself if it is worth stopping the co-sleeping. if your son sleeps better alone, let him make the decision for you. I know that they are only little once, but i also know it is very hard to let them grow up. there are many times I still want to take my 7 nad 5 year old and just rock them to sleep. I really miss those times. I even miss the baby times with my 13 month old. She is very independant and wants to do her own thing. if he sleeps better alone, maybe have one night a week that mght be a co-sleeping night. Make it a night that there is not need to get up early in the morning and you can cherish those nights and mornings together. I grew up with just my mom, brother and myself and we used to have every friday night as the night in mommy's bed. We would wtch tv until we fell asleep and it was a real special treat. There were also the nights of the thunderstorms that we ran to my mom's bed to feel safe. Talking to my mom now, she really looked forward to those nights and when there was a thunderstorm she would lay in bed waiting and hoping we would come running into her bed, because it was a special time.
Maybe start a tradition of him sleeping in your bed one night a week and see how that goes. He is young to understand it now, but as he gets older he will look forward to that night and it will be a treat for him. Good Luck!!!