11 Month Old Waking in the Night

Unfortunatly, my advise, from my experience, is that she will probably sleep better in her bed! I have exclusivly breastfeed my son, 12 months, he regularly falls asleep when I feed him. When he was younger we also tried co-sleeping and I found that he woke up 2 to 3 times as much! In the last couple months I have found that he really isn't hungry, he just hasn't yet learned how to fall asleep on his own. As adults we wake (generally not enough to remember) we roll over, adjust the pillow and blanket and snore some more! These little ones can't do all that! Just rolling over is still a feat for them. I have found with mine (I don't cry it out either!) if I go in, roll him over if needed - he's a tummy sleeper, and pat his behind, he is usually a sleep within a few pats. I give him a few wimpers/crys just because I found that he IS learning to fall asleep on his own. When I first started this, it took a little longer and a little firmer pat. I don't have a book or website to recommend... I just try differnt things and see what works.

Hi T.,

Do you bleach your sheets or wash them in regular detergent? Babies lungs are smaller and they not only inhale the synthetic chemicals from the detergents but they also absorb them through the skin. Out-gassing from mattresses can be a problem also. When she is breastfeeding, she is next to your skin which does not hold the toxins like a sheet or blanket. That may be why she is relaxed and goes back to sleep, (other than the obvious that breastfeeding is a comfort!) Some synthetic chemicals are better than others, however all are irritants.

You have relaxed her with a bath and read to her and that soothes (it is not a stimulant like the TV) and she is well fed before bed. It sounds like you are doing everything right to me. If you want more information about toxins in the home you can go to my website www.go2harmony.healthyhometour.com and get a crash course or feel free to email me and we can talk.

God bless,
M.
www.squidoo.com/ifyourbabycouldtalk

What she would learn if you let her cry is that when she needs you, you won't come. Even Ferber and the other advocates of CIO have had to backtrack after findings that it causes brain damage to let a child scream like that, in addition to it just being cruel to punish her for wanting to be with you.

At eleven months it is perfectly normal to still be waking and wanting to nurse at night. When she's a year, try this method: http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp

Your husband will have to help. Since you can nurse her, he'll probably have more success being the one who walks her or cuddles her back to sleep because she knows nursing is an option with you. But remind him that she's not a puppy that needs training; she's a child who wants to be with her mother. Sometimes if we change our way of thinking, things are easier to manage. She's not nursing because she is hungry; she's nursing because she loves you.

You should start with him being the one to put her to bed, so she'll associate him with caretaking too. You nurse her, then he carries her to bed. Then she won't be shocked when he's walking her at night.

Don't worry about your daughter's habits right now. She is so young still, and she's getting wonderful parenting from you during the day AND night! My first nursed at night until she was 12 months, and my second until she was nearly 2. I encourage you to go check out a book called, "The Breastfeeding Book" by Dr. William Sears. It'll help your husband see how parenting the way you are is healthy, not harmful. Also, for information on night and day weaning, try www.kellymom.com and/or www.askdrsears.com

T.,

I first want to tell you that I do have a different view than you regarding sleeping arrangements. I do not believe in children sleeping in their parents' bed at any age, because I feel it is really the only sacred place a couple has after having a child. However, everyone has their own style. I do think that trying to transition your daughter to sleeping in her own crib would help. She will begin to realize that she does not need someone right there to immediately sooth her. It will begin to teach her to self-sooth, which is truly something that helps children gain a sense of independence as they develop.

My son has always slept in his own bed, besides a few exceptions when he was first born. He is 7 months old and sleeps through the night consistently. When he does wake up, he will fall asleep just by holding and rocking him. However, he's been used to this. A lot of children's behavior is learned, which, luckily, can be unlearned or relearned the way we want it. With another baby on the horizon, it's probably time to transition her anyway. It's hard to make a baby without the alone time in the bedroom!

Good luck, and I hope my thoughts provide you with some kind of useful advice.

K.:)

Put her in her crib and deal with it a couple nights if she is screaming. Maybe she is waking up because she is with you. My son would wake up have a couple sounds like cries and go right back to sleep. You may be actually waking her up more by interacting with her. She will be fine in her crib!

I have an almost 11 month old as well. He is my 4th child. I have breastfed all my children exclusively, never used formula. I also co-slept with them for the first 3 months. However, that was always my line. After that it was time to suck it up and get up in the middle of the night for me. And I have to say, most of the time they slept longer intheir own bed than with me at that point. That being said my little one still gets up 1-2 times per night for a feeding. That's quite normal. He's had to sleep with me a few times when we were away from home, and I can tell you he was definitely awake more with me than on his own. And, when he was teeething last month he would have times when we were back to every 2-3 hours like a newborn! ahhh... I don't like the cry it out method either, but I have let them cry a bit to go to sleep, usually not longer than 10-15 minutes. Longer and I would give in. I guess by best advice is to say that he is very normal but that I would suggest transitioning him to his own room. I've always done it at 3 months to avoid them getting emotionally attached to sleeping in my room. My very good friend has a 5 year old girl that is still crawling in bed with them almost every night and my parents have a 4 year old that does the same. IMO this is mainly because they kept her there longer than necessary and then allowed it anytime she woke int he night after she was supposed to be in her own room. I'd rather sleep ont he foor for an hour or two in my kids' room than have them crawl in with me for that reason.

All that being said we all have different beliefs and parent differently. You have to do what's best for your family, but if DH is getting annoyed with it then it's probably time for the move.

I'm just wondering if she falls asleep for the first time while on the bottle or breast, or after she's finished. Because if she falls asleep while drinking, that could be the problem.. the only way she knows how to get back to sleep. Or even if it's right before... I think maybe I'd try giving her the bottle a little earlier... try to seperate the bottle from the falling asleep process, or you can't expect her to be able to fall BACK to sleep without it either. That make sense? I was a Ferber mom... with great success, but if you are against trying that, I'm sure you will get a lot of other advice here.

Kellymom is a great website that has a lot of good advice
about helping infants to sleep gently. They have some excepts from a book by Elizabeth Pantley called "The no-Cry Sleep Solution" - that's a good one that offers TONS of suggestions, none of which involve leaving your baby to cry alone in the dark.
http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/sleep.html

And here's some reassuring information on "normal sleep patterns" of infants. (Basically, there *is* no normal).
http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/sleepstudies.html

"Probably one of the main reasons that babies who don't sleep through the night are such a big issue is that parents don't have realistic expectations of the sleep patterns of babies. "

I went through some similar discussions with my husband; he
also had some issues about "training", not necessarily sleep training, but sometimes I responded quickly to my baby and he said I was "training" my child to be too dependent. He even got a "training manual" (geared toward people training dogs!) and he gave it to our part-time nanny and asked her to read it! When I got wind of that I "read him the riot act." I told him to get a dog if he wanted to train something!

Bless hi heart, he still occasionally gets some hair-brained idea about raising the kids, but as the mom, I feel like I have to be their last line of defense, even from their extrememly well-intentioned (but sometimes unwise, impatient, or just plain knuckle-headed) father. If I think he's off-base, I'll do some online research - I'll google for "attachment parenting" or the "long-term harmful effects of cry-it-out" techniques, so I have facts to back up my position.

The thing is, nobody *enjoys* arguing with their husband (or in-laws, relatives, daycare providers, etc), but when you stand up for you child, it's an amazingly rewarding feeling. I promise it won't be the first time you go to bat for her. Good luck!

I know that every child is different but my daughter was up every 2 hours for a bottle no matter how well she ate before going to bed. She gradually went up to 3 hours or 3 1/2 but still I had to give her a bottle. It is normal for a baby to wake up several times during the night for a bottle. Some babies will go all night...the parents to those are very lucky.
You have to remember that they are developing a lot right now and so, they want to eat all the time. It's tiring but, that's just the way it is.
I know you don't want to hear this but your child should not be sleeping with you because it is a very bad habit and is extremely hard to break! Been there and done that.

I have nothing to offer that I am sure you haven't heard or researched already. Only that I understand and in time things will improve.

I am a mommy of 4 and have coslept and breastfed them all. They all were very different and most of the time the things I tried were just busy work. They fell into better sleep patterns in their own time.

Keep up the good work T.!!

Honestly she is most likely hungry. remember her little someach is only as big as her fist. You could try feeding her again before you go to bed. you can also pick up elizabeth pantleys book, the no cry sleep solution.

T.

My twin daughters just turned 2 and are still not sleeping every night, all night. We are now on a schedule where they wake up once a night sometimes twice. I know a lot of it is their age. This is what we have done to get this far...during naps and bedtime, I started to play a cd that is very relaxing. Anytime they wake up, I restart the cd and lay them back down. This, now, works really well. While driving in the car we noticed which cd worked best and have taken it inside!! I use this as a little reminder that it is time to sleep. I started this when the girls were about 1 because like you, I was sooooooo tired of getting up constantly through the night. It was so bad that my husband and I took turns sleeping on a pile of blankets in their room for about three months. Everyone I have spoken to with young children this age seems to go through the same thing. Sleepless nights and cranky mornings. Best of luck with this!!!

My daughter woke up hungry until she was about a year and a half. Just remember that this time IS fleeting and one morning you will wake up and realize you only fed her once in the night or none at all and it will just go from there. I kinda miss those middle of the night feedings. Since you work full time maybe she is waking up to spend a little extra time with you. Get that extra Mommy fix!!!

Are you only giving her milk? No solids likke apple sauce, (deserts baby food) cereal on her last bottle before puting her to bed? She might been waking up cause she is hungry

Let me start by saying that you need to adjust your priorities: God first, husband second, children third, then everything else comes after that. I think you are making a mistake having your child sleep with you and your husband is in the guest room. If you think he is so great, then you should get him back into your bed where that beautiful baby was created, and get your child in her own bed. Your husband sounds like a wise man, maybe you should listen to him and consider another way of training your child. The longer she sleeps with you, the harder it will be to change her habits and get her into her own bed.

You say you don't believe in the cry it out theory, so I don't know how to help you get her into her own bed. She is old enough to make it through the night without eating. Have you checked to see if she has some teeth coming in?? There are some great homeopathic pills (you can get them at WalMart) called Hylands Teething Pills. They dissolve in your mouth instantly (just try one yourself...I did to make sure) and they seemed to help my children during teething periods. This could be why she is waking up. Otherwise, you will just have to withstand a few sleepless nights to show her who is boss. You or her???

I am a stay at home mother of 3 children.