1 Month Old Sleeping Problems

Updated on March 29, 2008
B.G. asks from Ontario, OR
15 answers

I need some advice, I have a healthy 1 month old son who won't sleep in his crib. He won't take naps or sleep in his crib at night, he will only sleep in my arms or in my bed with me. I have tried lots of things putting him in his crib when he's already fast asleep, which he wakes up within 10 to 15 minutes crying, I've tried swaddling (which he doesn't like), I've tried music in his room, I've tried putting a small pillow in his crib with him that smells like me, nothing seems to work. I've had a couple relatives that said to just let him cry it out, but I can't bring myself to do it because he is only a month old. Then I have a couple other relatives that tell me to just do whatever I have to do so that he sleeps. I'm not sure what it is about his crib that he doesn't like but I would like some time to myself, or time to just devote to my 5 year old, or to actually sleep with my husband just the 2 of us, but it's kind of hard when I also have him on my arm or in bed with me. I'm looking for any suggestions.

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M.E.

answers from Pocatello on

Any child will sleep when he's sleepy enough. He's trained you so that he gets his way, where HE WANTS to sleep.

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M.W.

answers from Boise on

It is no accident that your son sleeps better in your bed with you. Most babies sleep better that way. In most of the world, this is how babies and parents sleep. Co-sleeping has worked for us with all four of our babies. I love it, and it makes nursing during the night so much easier. When our first baby was about five months and we knew that we would continue co-sleeping, we invested in a king-size bed, and it was worth it! We transition them into a toddler bed right around 2 years old and have never had any problems.

If you decide that co-sleeping is not for you, please do NOT consider the "Babywise" method, especially if you are breastfeeding. There are much better books out there to help you get your baby to sleep. (Right now your baby is too young for any sleep-training method, so continue to do what is necessary to get him to sleep without letting him CIO.) After a few months, I would recommend you try the book "The No Cry Sleep Solution." If you want more info on co-sleeping and other baby topics, I recommend books by Dr. William Sears, starting with The Baby Book. It was what helped us with so many things with our first little one.

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M.O.

answers from Denver on

My best guess. Sensory deprovtion. He is used to constant motion and noise and being held 24/7. Happiest baby on the block should be your best friend. Just becasue he fusses and moves, does not mean he doesn't like swaddling. You have to give him time to "feel". Also try warming the sheets before you put him down.

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D.K.

answers from Denver on

You are so right NOT to let him cry it out, he needs you. Maybe figure out if his tummy is feeling badly or it is gas and you holding him relieves that and maybe just relaxes him. Try Mylicon drops after feeding him. You will form a hard to break habit if he continues to depend on you to sleep but he is so young now. Try swaddling, those positioners for his back so he cannot roll. Babies like to feel very secure so making sure he is swaddled can give him that feeling. Even swaddling him in one of your shirts so he has your smell. There is nothing wrong with rocking a newborn to sleep but he should be staying asleep after that. Good luck, he hopefully will adjust to the new world he is in and take to his crib. Keep trying to put him there for naps and make sure his room is warm, he is swaddled and he doesn't have gas. Good luck!

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W.L.

answers from Boise on

I bought a mini co-sleeper that sets beside my bed and can be anchored to the bed to ensure it doesn't move...which it doesn't. This way the baby was very close and the side was lowered to right above bed level so I could cuddle the baby at night when she was cranky, but she was in HER bed. I think that it was a life saver. It was designed for mothers who nurse and want their own space. I also agree that your baby may have gas problems or a reflux problem. In this case there are several methods that work. Having the baby sleep on their stomach helps greatly with reflux problems. Having a slight incline for the baby to sleep on, such as a folded up blanket that makes an incline. During the day I would look into having them sleep in a car carrier or a swing. If you like sleeping with out the baby, which I do, the mini co-sleeper is a life saver. I moved my daughter into a crib in my room when she started sleeping through the night most nights without much trouble at all. It took about four days for her to get used to it. I believe if you keep your child in your bed you will find that you will have a terrible time getting them out.My oldest and I had this problem. He felt like I no longer loved him when I finally made him sleep in his own bed. The next three never had to go through this because sleeping is just that....sleeping. Getting up in the middle of the night is hard for a little while but you will find that it is much less as time goes on and you sleep much better not worrying about smashing the baby. GOOD LUCK!!! P.S. I found my mini co-sleeper at ababy.com for much less than dept. stores and there was free shipping on it.

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P.W.

answers from Provo on

Same story here exactly, I've tried the crib, and relatives said to let him cry... My son is now 8 weeks. For the last month what I did was to put a thick comfy blanket in his car seat with a soft cloth head support and he sleeps great for naps and nighttime. He slept all night the first night I tried it, and it's worked like a charm since then, because the walls and head support keep him close and help him feel secure. Just yesterday I started trying out the crib again, and he slept fairly well but not quite as long. I'm sure it will get better. In another month or two I will start training him to sleep all night, and I will let him cry it out so he learns to sleep on his own, but not until at least 3-4 months. I have the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, by Weissbluth, and I've also heard that the Happiest Child on the Block is great and similar. Good luck!

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I.V.

answers from Denver on

I had the worst sleeper in the world- and one of the things I found were to make sure she was full, to burp her (he may be more comfie in your arms than lying straight down because he has gas- we used the infant gas drops, and they worked like a charm) and to make sure she was warm. If none of that works, try a binkie. If it really is that he just wants mommie, put something in the crib that smells like mom, like a shirt. It is hard at that age, but one thing I would say, is that they will sleep when they need to, and if it is not a physical discomfort thing, let him cry it out (at least for a bit) and see how it goes...otherwise, you are going to have a really tough time. Maybe even try to put the crib next to your bed (or I used a portable play pen so I didn't have to take our crib apart)so you are close, but not too close...Good luck! No matter what, remember it will pass in time :o)

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C.E.

answers from Lawton on

I was given the fantastic advice to put my baby to bed before she fell asleep. You are supposed to let your baby cry for 10 minutes and if they are still crying then go ahead and calm your baby down and then repeat this process until they fall asleep. The theory behind it is that if they go to sleep in your arms and wake up in a different place they get very scared. I did this and it works...although I must admit I didn't start at 10 minutes, it seems like forever, I think we started at 5 minutes. I hope this advice helps you like it did me. Good luck!

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J.L.

answers from Colorado Springs on

My thoughts...I have had 2...so not as experienced as some others may be with 5 :) Ha Ha...but, if you have taken care of your baby fed/changed etc. it doesn't hurt them to cry for a period of time. I would lay him down in the crib and leave for just a little while. Vacuum or do something to keep yourself busy while he cries. If it he has cried longer than 15 to 20 minutes, go and check on him. Cuddle him and let him know that you love him and then lay him down again. I followed the eat, wake, sleep cycle with both of mine. I did not let them stay asleep nursing or after the bottle, except for in the middle of the night. This helps them to not have you/eating as a crutch to fall asleep. During the day, I tried to keep them awake, playing/looking around for about 20-45 min after eating. THEN, I found that they were tired enough to fall fast asleep. When at the younger stages, if they hadn't woken up when it was time..about 2 1/2 to 3 hours between feedings...I would wake them and begin again. Also, you might try a swing if you haven't already! Both of mine slept their first night through the night at 8 weeks in the swing, not every night of course but, at 8 weeks I was desperate, tried it and it worked for rest that night!! Ha Ha! Both of mine slept through the nights completely at 10 wks. Some moms I know do feeding on demand...that just didn't work for me. When a mom of 4 suggested these ideas to me, I tried them and they worked! I am so thankful to her for helping me out! Hope this helped!! Your rest is important, as well as your time with your other family members!

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A.G.

answers from Norfolk on

My son did the same thing for a while. I realized that he wouldn't sleep for more than ten minutes in his crib unless he was on his stomach, I had him sleeping on his stomach when he slept on my chest at night fr the first month. My Dr. was adamant that I not let him sleep on his stomach but I did A LOT of research and found that they really have no idea what actually causes SIDS and even used to think that it was sleeping on their backs that did it. So eventually I just made sure that his crib was free of anything too soft or that could get in hos way at all and let him sleep on his stomach. He immediately started sleeping as well in his crib as he did in my arms and even started sleeping 4 hours at a time at night.
I know that I was, and still am, a side sleeper so you could try that too.

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E.W.

answers from Provo on

I also have a one month old son. :) We've had some trouble getting him to sleep in his crib because when he is flat on his back he can't get the gas out of his system, and usually ends up spitting up and getting frustrated. We've tried sleeping him in his carseat, which he does better with. I don't know if maybe your son is having gas pains (which they usually grow out of) but you can try putting a pillow under his crib mattress so he isn't lying flat.

Other than that, we follow the program in a book called Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child, by a Dr. Weissman. He stresses routine, putting them down at the same time each night, earlier instead of later (between 7 and 9), and soothing to sleep after no more than two hours of wakefulness, as they will get overtired if they are awake longer, making it harder for them to settle down. We've recently been bathing our son every night before bedtime (we just use soap twice a week as it can cause skin irritation to use it more often than that) and then he nurses, and we rock/sing to him until he is drowsy. It is a little soon to begin sleep training, but if you don't go into his room immediately when he begins crying, just let him moan or fuss a little bit, maybe for a minute, then he may start figuring out how to settle himself down. If he knows you will come to him the moment he cries, then he will cry if he is bored or lonely, even when he is very tired and needs his sleep. Once he gets into a routine and knows the drill, he will know what is going on and it should get easier for you. Around two months you can start letting him cry for longer periods of time. We did this with my daughter and she was sleeping through the night by 12 weeks, for 7-8 hours per night. I hope this helps! Good luck with your little guy!

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K.D.

answers from Denver on

We loved the Happiest Baby on the Block video. He teaches you how to swaddle so they like it, a big help for us, as well as many other things to try to induce the calming reflex. It was a life saver for us. Kudos on going a month like this before giving up. We only made it 5 days before reaching the end of our rope. It was a true lifesaver. We plan to do it with our next baby, too.

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J.A.

answers from Denver on

My first baby had this same issue. There are many causes for this. One can be that he has an immature intestinal system which causes the baby to be gassy. Back sleeping is tough for this and side sleeping with a wedge may help. Propping up the mattress may also help. If you notice gassiness, one of the first suspects to check would be dairy in your system. My first son was so sensitive to it that he had a terrible time sleeping at night or naps. The doctors thought it was reflux but it was actually a dairy intolerance. The other thing that seems to help is putting one of those inserts in the crib that makes the baby feel more like they are in the womb. They take some of the open space away and it sort of swaddles them. Hang in there, it will get better. Watch for signs of restless sleep or lots of gas.

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D.W.

answers from Pocatello on

Cassidy E.'s advice was right on. Plus if you don't get your son to sleep in his crib now, you will be sleeping with him until he is in grade school! A relative of mine did that with her daughter and she was miserable, didn't have any romance in her marriage, and didn't ever get good sleep herself. Her daughter would fall asleep in her bed, then crawl into mommy & daddy's bed after about one hour! They suffered through this until she was 7 years-old! So, try Cassidy E.'s advice and put your baby to bed after he has been fed, changed, burped and cuddled for a few minutes. When you know that he is sleepy put him in his crib, maybe on top of one of your sweaters or shirts, but I wouldn't put a pillow in with him as he could start rolling over and end up suffocating. Don't mean to sound scary, but it happens. Try putting him to bed slightly tipped on his side. That worked for my youngest. Good luck to you! Your family sounds precious, my daughter was a non-stop talker at a young age and still is!!!! It's wonderful though!

I am a working mom of 5 children, ages 28 to 12 years-old. The 12 year-old is my only child at home now. I also have 5 beautiful grandchildren.

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A.R.

answers from Boise on

Some parents have different beliefs when it comes to crying it out. I was like you, when my little girl was a month old I know I felt the same way. I couldn't bare listen to her cry. But fron day ONE I always put her in her crib for the night. My suggestion is a book I SWEAR by call Babywise. I didn't even finish the book till my daughter was about a month old (she's almost 18 mo now) but every since she was 7 wks old she's slept through the night. The book has good suggestions and I've passed it on to several friends already. Good luck!

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