Sleep Advice

I certainly don't recommend letting your baby cry-it-out as some have suggested here, but it sounds like you already practice a healthy attachment for yourself and your baby and wouldnt take that route! :)

Instead, let me suggest a few books. My all time favorite sleep books. The one is Nighttime Parenting by Dr. William Sears and the other is The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. Both books focus on gentle parenting to solve sleep issues. How to help your baby fall asleep, stay asleep and not use your boob to do it. It addresses your child as an individual and helps you to focus on their individual needs. They are great and opened my eyes to how and why babies sleep the way they do and my role as their Mother to help them while still keeping harmony in our house and not inucing stress by letting them cry. Here are some links for those books. You can get them at your local library, or find them on ebay or amazon for cheap. Both books are endorded by La Laeche League and Attachment Parenting International, as well as William Sears endorsing Pantley's book.

http://www.amazon.com/Nighttime-Parenting-Child-League-In...

http://www.amazon.com/No-Cry-Sleep-Solution-Gentle-Throug...

Hope this helps Momma!

I practice co-sleeping and nursed until the kids weaned themselves. My advice is don't think too much and let the kids define the path. I heard many voices about how unwise this is, but frankly, my kids have lived in a lot of different enviorments and are now at 5 and 7 very healthy happy kids who are weaned from both the breast and the bed. And they each chose it themselves. They started by sleeping together in a room and have now just chosen to have their own rooms. There is no magic age or time to force transitions. Kids are all different with different needs and if given the support I believe they will choose independance and love it. They also are babies for a very short time and need to be dependant for a strong foundation. Just my opinion....it seems to have worked for me. Good luck and live every moment with that wonderful baby!

Hi L.,
I got excellent guidance from Tracy Hogg's book "The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems (By Teaching You How to Ask the Right Questions)". She taught us how to teach our son to sleep on his own and get back to sleep when he woke during the night. He is now a champion sleeper and I am a much more functional mom because of it! There's nothing wrong with cosleeping if it works for you (it didn't for us because of my need for sleep and longer stretches of time when my body and mind weren't constantly "on call"), but if you want to transition him to a crib, I highly recommend reading this book. She takes a middle of the road approach attachment-wise--never ever leave a child to cry it out alone (and therefore risk feeling abandonded and breaking the trust bond), but also give parents tools to use to help the baby learn to self-soothe and sleep on their own, building both their self-confidence/independence and trust in their parents. Right in the middle between the Ferber extremists and the attachment parenting extremists, and that's where I felt most comfortable (and actually where the most reputable attachment research comes down on the topic).

Good luck to you!
K.

I have a 10 month old that is still co-sleeping and he also wakes up every 2-4 hours. But for us it works, we both are able to sleep. My advice is to really look at the situation and as the saying goes if it's not broke why fix it! He is content sleeping with me and I don't have to wake up at night to a terrified baby screaming for me while he is alone in a crib. Also think about it, is it really bothering you to have your baby with you at night or is it the negative comments you probably here from everybody that has never co-sleep with there baby! Many very good mothers have made negative comments to me about co-sleeping, but most of them also did not breastfeed! Right now your baby is sleeping close to the person he loves the very most and is able to have a snack when ever he wants of the most delicious food he has ever dreamed of. This is heaven for him, so unless it truly deep down bothers you, I'd say continue co-sleeping! (also as a side note the longer you nurse throughout the night the less of a chance of a returning menstration and getting pregnant) For me it's a win win situation!

hi L. - i'm a first-time, breast-feeding mom, to a 7-month old daughter. when she was born i was determined to co-sleep and we did. by the time she was 5-6 months old i was "done!" i was ready to get back to my husband and back to my spacious bed! I go back and forth on this issue all the time, some days i'm re-committed as a "family bed_ mom, and others I'm feeling the crowding and want my psace. But i'm also breastfeeding, and i believe that my stress levels need to be addressed and not over-worked; and she wakes every 2-3 hours for a little sucking (she's not hungry and she weighs 20lbs! so i know it's just about being cuddled/nursed back to sleep)- and this is stressful all night long! And because she wakes so often, it's too brutal for me to put her in her own room and walk to get her - i'll be walking the hallway every 2-3 hours in my sleep. so when she hit 5 months of age and became a restless squirmy thing in bed, i decided to keep her in a co-sleeper in our room, at the foot of out bed. it's amazing how well this works for us. (It's a pack N play arm's reach co-sleeper). It was hard for me the first night, and then it was great! She has her own space (and really likes it! much to my disappointment!) and i have my bed back - and when she wakes, she's right next to me. sometimes we nurse in bed and we fall asleep together, but more often than not i return her to the co-sleeper and she falls back to sleep. she's turning over these days and about to be able to get out of the co-sleeper, co i'm not sure what's next; but for these past few months, it's been a perfect solution. ~A. SAHM to Alexandra

Get the book "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" by Dr. Richard Ferber. I used this for my second child and it was the best advice anyone could have given me. This book explains your situation exactly and will guide you how to correct it. It works!!

I had a similar problem. I was able to find a basinet at a height that was level with my bed and had her sleep in the basinet right next to me. This way as soon as I heard fussing I could rub my daughters back without making getting up and making much noise, I could easily give her the pacifier before she fully woke up out of her sleep. She eventually extended her sleeping time from about 2 hours to 4-6 hours. Once I was confident in her ability to sleep through 4-6 hours I would roll the basinet in her room after a few weeks of that, then I transitioned her into the crib. The basinet also had a vibrating mechanism that I could turn on and that helped also.

It is a huge task to undertake, I won't lie! Our son didn't co-sleep but he was in our bedroom. We moved him to his bed in his room between 4 and 5 months. We did practice the cry it out method - it was the absolute only thing that worked for us. VERY hard but effective. I slowly weaned him from his night nursing though...we didn't just go cold turkey on that. My advice though is to use a lovey. He has a small floppy bunny that we would hold between us while he was nursing - it smelled like me and him. It was a very important comforting tool and he still sleeps with it today (he's almost 17 months). Good luck and hang in there!

Our daughter is 6 months old :) She's the youngest of 5. Our children are 7,5,4,2 and 6 months. We did the co-sleeping with all of them. We still have our youngest in our bed at this time but if you want to make the transition my suggestion to you is this. For his nap time/s I think you should start putting him in his crib. During the day time would be much easier if you have the time that way you can comfort him without losing much sleep. And he can adjust to the crib easier. Then as he gets used to the crib more then you can try at night to place him in there that way he's accustomed to it already. I hope this helps you. Good luck with everything :)

Hey L. - congratulations on your gorgeous baby boy. I would recommend buying a book called "The contented Little Baby" by Gina Ford. It has been a life saver for us. I have a 3 1/2 month old baby boy, and we put him on Gina's schedule in the first month. He was sleeping 8 to 9 hours (from 10.30pm - 7am) at 11 weeks in his own crib in his own room.
However, this book is not for everyone - especially if you really want to continue demand-feeding (which is wonderful for some, but doesn't work for everyone). Her schedule is quite draconian and strict, but it's a good book just to help you understand how to get your baby sleeping at night, and eating during the day. It also has problem solving for getting babies out of your bed and into their own crib.
Best of Luck!!!
xxx

I have 3 chidren. I co-slept with all of them. I found that they were all different. My youngest 4 months sleeps through most nights. Similiar to my first. But my middle child was up a lot. By 7-8 months I was ready to pull my hair out. He slept pretty good the first part of the night. But it went down hill from there. At it worst I would be offering a breast 8 times by the time I got out of bed. My mom who breast fed and co-slept her kids, suggested that I put him in his crib in the room with his brother. I did. In less than a week he was sleeping through the night. He was sensitive to movement around him. He slept much better by himself.

I don't know if that will work for you. My son was older. He also sucked his thumb and could put himself to sleep. You know your son the best. But it migt be worth a try.

In my experience I didn't stop nursing at night until 9mo. My DD didn't slow her need to nurse until she was eating solid foods, 5 mo. I just decided at that time that she could sleep longer and I wouldn't nurse her everytime she woke up. I would give her a binky and/or rock her but not nurse if it had been less then 4 hours. We ended up co-sleeping for half the night from age 3mo-6mo. At around 6-7 months we started stricter sleep training with a modified ferber method. This took some time and we had a few long nights with some long crying jags but since she was 8 months or so I haven't nursed at night. I stopped all together at 11 months. I am happy to chat if you want any more details on my methods. Try different things and only do what you and your family are most comfortable with.

From reading your email, it seems that while you are eager to get your baby into a crib and sleeping all night, your baby is telling you that he is not ready for this yet.

He is, after all, only 5 months old. Despite what you might hear, the vast majority of babies do not normally sleep through the night before their first birthday.

Would you really feel comfortable leaving him to scream in a crib? Sure, eventually he will give up, but what kind of message does that send? That mama does not come when he is in distress?

Did you know that many babies, even bottle fed ones that have been sleeping through the night, start to wake more frequently around this age?

It is because they are teething.
Teething hurts.
Anyone who has ever had a tooth ache will tell you that it seems to hurt more at night than during the day, perhaps because there are fewer distractions.

If nursing him seems to help - and in your case it does - then why stop? It is certainly easier to nurse for a couple of minutes in a warm bed than getting up to walk a screaming baby, isn't it?

He will only be little for a short while. All he knows is that having mama close makes him feel better. How can that possibly be wrong?

Co-sleeping can be a tough transition for some little ones. Try to give him a double dose of breast milk before you want him to sleep for the night. You can do this by pumping and saving extra milk during the day. This creates a full belly and hopefully a little guy ready to sleep for along time. Another option would be to put him to sleep in the same place you put him down for a nap. Assuming he naps independent of you, this will signal to him that you are not available to him the same way you are not there when he naps. We did this by moving our daughter to the foot of the bed instead of next to me. It wasn't the end of co-sleeping for good, it was a temporary relocation to help her understand that night sleeping is like napping.

Do it in stages. First try having him sleep in the pack and play in your room but by himself. Use the pacifier to have him fall back to sleep instead of the breast. Once he's use to sleeping in the pack and play by himself move him to his own room. This is how I did it with both my kids, but they were younger then yours. But it worked grat both times.

Hi,

My son just turned 4 months, (I weaned him at 3 months, he is now formula fed). We stopped co-sleeping about the same time and moved him to his crib. When he fusses I do not go to him unless he is crying and clearly upset. In the begining he fussed for 20 minutes, now its 2-3 if at all. It was important to me that he learned to self sooth. I think the more social the babes get the more they want our company.....

I suggest you get him used to self soothing...it may take a week or so and the reward is you getting a better nights sleep. I also purchased a turtle night light that shines stars on the ceiling for up to 45 minutes.....it is an awesome distraction and gives him something to look at in the dark.

Also first time mom,

K.

none of my kids ever slept with me
i have 3 kids now ages 8, 5 and 2
2 were breastfed but only took it for a very short amount of time. my first child liked to be rocked to sleep and when i had to stop that it was VERY difficult to transition her to going to sleep by herself in the crib
my 2nd child was right away in the crib by herself and she did great. same with the 3rd
kids are smart so your child knows what he/she is doing. they want snuggles and mommy is giving them that extra comfort when they need it or dont need it.
i would say bc your child is so young still pop em in the crib and get them used to it. sure he will cry and it might take a bit to get used to it but if you dont want to be sleeping with them forever its what you need to do.

A.

I did not read all the responses so someone may have already said this, but I would try a pack n' play if you have one. Try putting him in there next to your bed, and slowly move it farther and farther away. I also have known of kids that we nursed needing something that smells like Mommy so they feel that Mommy is close by, like maybe the shirt you wore that day. When my daughter was little she cradle slept and co-slept with us until she was 6months old, then we moved her to a pack n' play, and then to the crib and we had no issues.. Good Luck!

We went through the exact same thing.. Once my husband had had enough (our son was 9 months old) and wanted to sleep back in our bed with me again (he was afraid he'd roll on our son so he slept on the couch while I co-slept with our son), we started the process (which wasn't as hard as I had feared). I began sleeping in the living room and putting my son to sleep in the pack and play right near me. I'd nurse him at bedtime and he'd usually fall asleep on my breast. Then I'd lay him in the pack and play. If he woke up, I would rub his back and offer him his pacifier. This would usually work but if it didn't and I was really tired, I would do what you do and that is offer him a breast to get him to go back to sleep. Try really hard to wean that ~ easier said than done ~ since he's got to learn to go to sleep on his own. He didn't really sleep through the night in the pack and play so eventually we moved him to his crib. Well, I'll be if it wasn't way easier than I had thought! We would let him cry for a little bit and just keep going in and soothing him, letting him know it's ok and we're still here. He also had to share a room with his 2 year old brother so that helped too but I believe he really just wanted his own space to sleep. I'm not sure if I helped any ~ lol! Good luck!

Have you tried one of those bears with a heart beat?I have been told they can really comfort a baby. It tricks them into thinking that someone is there. Music always worked for my kids. I would leave a classical music cd or lullaby cd on nonstop play all nite and I think it worked . Or just give it a few days. I have found that most things can be cured in three days!! I know it is hard but just stand your ground, Let him cry a little it is good for their lungs( no more than 15 mins.) Just like you my heart rips out of my chest when one of my children is crying but you and the baby will be better for it in the end!! Also buy the pacifier with the most nipple like nipple. My kids liked the gerber ones with the round tip. GOOD LUCK!!

Look up co-sleepers.. when I put my son to sleep I'd wait till he was mostl asleep and slip himinto his crib .. which held a boppy and he'd curl up in that.

Now as a co-sleeper mom, like I was, you'll know SIDS says all soft stuff is bad... but since SIDS (true sids) and suffocation are two seperate things.. they also seem to make guidelines on if they can lift their head.... which is why adults dont' suffocate.. so use at your own risk, but my son is almost 5 now so... and I'd swaddle him in a crocheted blanket and then swiftly push him over into the boppy and until we were ready to stop feeding at night so much and get in a "real" crib.. this was an awesome option. I don't think you have to stop giving the breast if he's truly nursing.. but if it's a comofort thing.. just give him the paci only.. he'll get over it in a few nights.. honestly most do.

That is simply what worked for us...

and then when he went into hsi crib I did exactly the same things as another mother here suggested with helpi him find the pacifier and putting some on the chair rail that went around his room so he could grab one in the dark... that was our true saving grace..slod nspd in thr crib WITHOUT FAIL.. and eventualyl after a week or two.. nighttime too!!!!... then with NO issues we transitioned into a toddler bed and now a full twin bed with stuffed animals and fluffy blankets with a guard rail. He stays in bed and sleeps through the night usually... he is a great sleeper.