My Teens Seem to Just Hang Around the House.

Take away the electronics and hand them a bat and ball or a basketball or soccer ball and tell them to get outside and run around.

If they don't like that idea hand them a mop and a bucket, broom, and other cleaning supplies and tell them you want the house to shine before dinner.

How is it a bad thing that your kids LIKE being home? Home is nice. You must be doing something right if it's the environment they prefer.

Enjoy them while they're there, won't be for much longer.

:)

Well, they all have sports. And they attend church youth group. So they are not just sitting around all the time and may just like down time. If they are getting all their homework done, and done thoroughly and well, they're golden.

I do think you could encourage them by being much more specific. For instance, say one daughter likes to craft. So you see there's a craft fair coming up in the area: "Hey, Jenny, next Saturday there's a huge craft fair with some free craft classes. Do you want to take a couple of friends with you? I'll drive you there and pick you up when it's over."

Or: "Bobby, if you want to have a couple of guys over on Friday or Saturday to play Xbox with you, I'll buy the pizzas and get ice cream and stuff for you all to make sundaes."

In other words: They may need some reminding from you that they can have friends over - or go out with friends to somewhere other than the mall.
You mention that they "seldom organize just relaxed fun stuff" but frankly a lot of teens I see don't fully realize they can do that for themselves and arent' interested in organizing much. Have the kids look at the activities and events listings in your local paper and find some things they want to do, and tell them it's OK to invite friends. The younger kids also don't drive yet, so you need to let them know you are OK with driving them places sometimes -- they can't get everywhere that's interesting to a teenager just by bike.

I'm not saying hand them a social life or be their "cruise director" social secretary, but if you've never pointed out that there are activities listings in the local paper, or they've never thought before about inviting someone over just to hang out -- give them some nudging. Do not, please do not, say "You need to get out more" or "All you do is hang out, get outside" etc. -- not to kids who are doing the homework fine and showing commitment to church and sports activities!

Times are changing, but be sure to remind them, they are allowed to go out with friends, their friends are welcome to come over to your home and watch movies, play board games or even play "Heads up" with their ipads. You will allow them to make snacks, etc..

I used to show our daughter all of the free or low costs things that were coming up, around town so she and her friends could plan.

If there was a performance at school, I and the other parents would volunteer to pick up her friends and drop them off at the school. Same with football games etc..

Volunteer opportunities were always a great thing on the weekends, then they would grab something to eat and hang out.

But some kids are not sure what to do, or what they are allowed to do.

I also know our daughter and her friends had a lot going on with school and extra curricular activities, so they were sometimes happy to "flop out".

It sounds like everything is better than normal at your house. You didn't mention anything that should cause concern.

It sounds to me like they have plenty going on. Home is supposed to be where, once chores are done, we can rest, relax, and be ourselves in the company of our family.

They feel comfortable at home with their family. Be thankful for that. Many homes aren't like that at all.

With the web they don't need to hang out together so much. They hang out on Messenger or a couple of other web sites. That way several kids can talk. My granddaughter, 14, has made friends from around the country with anime as the topic. Like pen pals with instant feedback. She is on her school's dance team and she does hang with friends for 1-2 hours after school 3 nights/week.

I think with the activities you listed your teens are ok. They do have each other for companionship too. I would ask them what they think about this. And also talk about what forms of talking are they using on the computer.

Sounds like they are busy and well rounded. Since they see peers at sports and youth group I wouldn't worry about them socially. They probably just like having some down time when they are home (nothing wrong with that!)

It's the devices. They probably wouldn't stay in to read books or draw instead of seeing friends would they? They can communicate on the devices so they do. Shoot, I sit around emailing and messaging people a lot too instead of driving to their houses. It sounds to me like they do have ample social activities going on. And then they like to relax. You could always make them get jobs or remove the devices or other adjustments. Help them organize inviting friends over or other things. But I wouldn't fear that they are abnormal. I'm reading new articles every day on how today's teens stay in on their electronics most of the time.

They sound like typical teens to me. Things have changed inthe last generation. IT used to be that you had to be with your friends in person in order to be connected. But with skype, facebook, twitter, instagram and online gaming, our kids are constatnly with their friends. So they can "chil" on the couch and still be connected - with their tiny screens in front of them.

Now I aws a kid who like to be home. I'm still a home-body and have found that my kids are as well. Before college my daughter was rarely out with other kids - unless it was at dance, work or youth group activities. My 15 yr old son is also usually at home when not with formal activities - and that's fine. The kids I see roaming the streets are generally involved iwth substances, shoplifting, etc.

Once they get to college and they find an array of social options they'll get involved. until then try to enjoy their presence - the house gets really empty feeling when they're away.

Sounds normal to me. They seem pretty busy and everyone needs downtime.

I found your complaint because I was having the same issue. I am very concerned about my teenage son doing the same thing. I am an older Mom with three children. The oldest child is a girl who is 31 and is going to law school after already going to a four year college earlier. She has always been an active person, and straight A student. Never had to discipline her or push her, she practically raised herself! My second child who is three years younger is also a girl and is an incredible artist/painter making her way to the big leagues at an early age. She also never needed pushing, she is really a go getter and very active/ good business person too. Never needed to discipline or push her either. I guess now I am faced with the hardship. My son is an incredible dear person, my third child, but I am worried. He is a straight A kid, I never have to tell him to do his homework and sweet as can be, but.....he stays home all of the time. He does go to school and has some activities. He does volunteer work and is in a rock band but spends the rest of his time in bed listening or using his cell phone as entertainment or playing video games on the computer. Have I lost my child to these games and utube videos? I feel like he is missing life. He never seems motivated to get out there and do things. He is handsome and kind and wise beyond his years but I worry about him as a teenager. Shouldn't he be on the go? He does not have his drivers license yet so that might be the issue but I don't think so. He put off getting it for a couple of years. He is eighteen and in his first year of college. He has been this way for most of his teens years. I used to think it was just a phase but I don't see any improvement. He eats all of his meals in bed and has to be asked all of the time to do his chores which are very few. We have had discussions and a few arguments but nothing seems to change. I am at a loss. He is so nice and never gets mad and is willing to do most of what I ask so it is hard to complain. He is like a disappearing act, now you see him, now you don't! I need some good advice on how to motivate him to launch himself! Help! :(

I would not be concerned if your kids seem happy. I have two that are very similar to yours. My daughter is now away at college, but for years she was very busy with lots of school activities and sports, but didn't hang out too much during her down time. In senior year that changed and we hardly saw her. Now that she is gone I realize how crazy I was to worry about her the way I did. My son just started high school, and he is even less social then she was, but he has always been and continues to be involved in sports and clubs. So I guess that's just how some kids are, they need some down time just hanging out at home. Again as long as they seem happy there really isn't anything wrong with it. Try to enjoy them while they are home. Honestly I miss watching movies with my daughter now that she is away!

Evidently they like you, their siblings, their home. You are blessed.