KIDS And Morning Routine

Updated on January 27, 2011
J.U. asks from Williamsburg, VA
9 answers

I am not the type of person that lives by a schedule. I am trying hard to do things more on a schedule and I have made progress but still hard for me. Especially when the kids don't want to do whatever or go somewhere.

How do you deal with kids who don't want to get dressed or brush teeth when you need them to?

My oldest is 7 and you would think by now she would be able to get up and do those 3 common things people do but I sill have to tell her to go to the bathroom, get dressed and brush teeth. Sometimes I have to pick her up and place her in the bathroom. When she wakes she will just come into my bedroom and turn on tv and sit there. If I turn off the tv and tell her to go she will go upstairs and turn on the tv and sit there. If I follow her chances are she will go back to my bedroom and turn on tv. She is more likely to play this game where my son who is 5 gets the hint and will get dress and stuff.

I probably should point out I am not unorganized and I am never late for things. I am usually waiting on people who told me where to be when if I have a meeting. My oldest just doesn't seem to be getting it and now I think my son is starting to think he can just wake up and sit there.
The main problem hot to keep them from seeing this as a game in the mornings.

backpacks are ready....all I ask of the kids is bathroom including teeth brushed, dressed and breakfast. I do take care of the rest. They have uniforms for school there isn't a problem of what to wear.

What can I do next?

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A.L.

answers from Chicago on

My daughter, also 7, knows that she better be ready to go when we are or she goes the way she is. We did once make her leave in her jammies, just as she was. I did take clothes in a bag for her as she couldn't go to school like that, but I refused to brush her hair, or anything else. She has never pulled that stunt again. She did not like having her hair a mess all day, or her breath smelling bad. Kids were asking her why she was messy. I did feel bad a little at the time, because kids can be cruel, but like I said she has never pulled that again. She knows we are serious when I say we are leaving in 10 minutes we are leaving no matter what.

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A.C.

answers from Savannah on

I wasn't really on a schedule before kids, but then I was kind of a mess always forgetting something, rushing around border-line late for something, etc. I learned from flylady.net that the before bed routine sets the tone for the whole next day, and I totally agree! Our mornings before doing the night routine and our mornings now are like night and day! This could also help if your daughter is just really bad at waking up. My friend's son does fine, unless you try to rush him. Then he starts moving in slow motion--seriously like a cartoon! It's something else!
We have a designated spot in our house that we call "the launch pad". It used to be the bar in the kitchen, but a friend of mine does woodworking and made a cute rocket ship shaped shelving system with one shelf for each person. In the evenings after dinner, we do a family pick up (15 minutes at the most) where we clear up the clutter and put things away. I take a quick look at the calendar/to do list and gather everything we need for the next day (keys, wallet, restocked diaperbag and backpack, homework, signed papers, shopping lists, sporting bag with the things needed for whatever season it is, etc) and we put everything in one spot, easy to see: our launch pad. I tell my 4 year old what the weather is and give him a couple choices so he can pick out his clothes, which we lay out ready to go. Then it's bath, teeth, story, prayer, bed time for them. That way in the morning, all he has to do is get up, go to the bathroom and get dressed, come in for a drink and eat his breakfast with us, and then brush his teeth. Super easy. Because we have extra time since things are done at night instead of the morning, we have time to stretch, have morning meditation, review a couple things we're learning as we put on shoes. If he does all of it before a certain time, he may watch his one show (Dinosaur Train) before we leave. If he is not finshed, there is no TV because there is no TIME for TV.....it's in his control, and it's his choice.
My kids would not be allowed to just walk in and turn a TV on, no way. Especially not before the things that "must" get done are done. That's a reward, or only becomes an option after the important things are done first, with a good attitude. Perhaps at dinner time you can explain the new routine.

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

I would tell her no TV in the morning. Period. And, it she turns it on, she won't get to watch it in the evenings either. Unplug the TV's...do whatever you have to do and stick with it.
She's just being stubborn. She's old enough to get ready in the morning.

My son dragged his feet sometimes and I just told him, if he didn't get dressed, I would take him in his pajamas or underwear. Whatever he had on.
He knew I'd do it too.
THAT got him moving!

Best wishes.

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K.H.

answers from Dallas on

On weekday mornings in our house, the rule is no t.v., computer, ipods, or MP3s. They distract the kids (and me) from what needs to be done. We do live by a very strict morning schedule/routine. My oldest daughter has ADHD, so a patterned routine is required for successful completion of any task.

Maybe you could sit your kiddos down this evening and explain to them how hard the chaos in the morning has become and what can we do about it.? I'm sure you can find ways of relating this to them...(THEY don't like to be rushed, THEY don't like being tardy, THEY like extra time with their friends before school...etc.). Letting them think they are coming up with some ideas (that you ,of course, can guide them gently toward) will give them a sense of control over the dreaded morning routine. Be very clear about what will be expected of them, and that you are completely convinced they can do this. Remind them that when something doesn't work right, it needs to be fixed...so how would they fix it?
* Backpacks by the front door, packed and papers signed...TONIGHT.
* Showers/baths TONIGHT, too.
* Let them choose their own clothes for tomorrow before bed TONIGHT. *When they get up in the morning, they need to be dressed (shoes too) before they have breakfast.
If you find that one, or both, need extra time waking up, then begin the process 15-20 min. earlier so they can have the time they need to acclemate themselves to a routine.
* When they finish breakfast, it's off to the bathroom to brush their teeth, where you could be waiting with hairbrush in hand. (When we get behind, I do my girls hair as they brush their teeth).

Enforce the no t.v (anywhere in the house) rule with a consequence. Make sure that you offer encouraging reminders in the beginning. No one changes habits overnight, but if this problem is big enough...it'll be worth it.

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T.R.

answers from New York on

I would sit them down one night, collectively as a group, and discuss the importance of what you are asking of them each morning and how you need their help. I would then separate them and give a very personal message to your oldest (since she seems to be your biggest problem) and make her feel special, explaining to her that she is the big sister and you need her help. Ask her if she is willing to help you - and if she is, she will get "xyz" for being such a big mommy's helper each morning. Hopefully this will help. Maybe even create a chart for your daughter to complete when everyone is done with their teeth and hair. Leave her in charge to create it and complete it.

Good luck!!! ;)

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R.M.

answers from Cumberland on

Disconnect the tv-go to bed a half hour earlier-see if that helps.

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C.J.

answers from Washington DC on

i agree with shane b about the tvs. and if there is one in her bedroom take it out. she is old enough to respect your wishes concerning tv time.

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A.R.

answers from Dallas on

We made brushing teeth/making bed one of their chores - no chores completed = no allowance, which has helped. They are also not allowed downstairs without being fully dressed/teeth brushed/beds made. If that means they miss breakfast then they miss breakfast.

She shouldn't be watching tv in the morning. Sit her down and tell her there will be no more tv in the morning, period. If she turns it on give her a consequence that will hurt, then follow through. If you need to hide the remotes, or put parental controls on the cable so she can't get to the programming she likes.

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K.L.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi J.! Sounds like you need to break your kids of some bad habits, which is hard (but not impossible!) to do. I like the idea of no TV in the morning. I even have friends who allow no TV or computer games Monday through Friday. I also like the idea of sending your kid to school in her pj's (that, of course, will backfire if you find she actually LIKES doing that - ha ha!) In my opinion, your daughter is just in the habit of getting up and turning on the TV. And yes you're right - she IS old enough to get up, get dressed, brush her teeth and come down to eat breakfast. My girls, ages 7 and 9, do all this morning stuff before I even see them. They arrive at the table by 8am b/c that's when breakfast is. We leave for the bus at 8:25am. They've been doing this on their own for a couple of years. No, they're not perfect (we've had to run down the street for the bus a few times, and couple of times we've missed it altogether) but for the most part we get through the mornings with no hassles because they know exactly what they're supposed to do each day. I would explain to your daughter that these are things you EXPECT out of a 7 year old. Demand that it happens otherwise there will be consequences. You might want to come up with those consequences ahead of time (taking TV away for a period of time, not letting her play with friends - whatever will bug her the most!) I think I heard once that it takes 21 days to create a habit. Maybe it'll take her that long to break the bad habits and form the new good ones. Good luck!!

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