I was wondering if any of you had any problems laying your infant down for a nap or bed. When my daughter was a week old, (she's now 2 months) I had no problem putting her back in her bassinette after she had fallen asleep from nursing. Since then I can't seem to lay her down without her waking up. I enjoy holding her till she is asleep in my arms, but would like her to stay down when I put her down. I have tried swaddling, holding the back of her head till she is settled, heartbeat/womb noises, white noise, electric blankets to get the bed warm, waiting 10 minutes after she is asleep, putting her down right after she is asleep, and the limp arm method. I usually wind-up holding her in my arms on the couch most of the night, ( I won't let her cry herself to sleep). I try to take turns with my husband when he is in town, but that is less than a few days a week. I also can't sleep sitting up on the couch for more than about four hours at a time. I can't even lay her down so I can take a shower! I am really starting to get burned out, I need some time to myself. Any suggestions would be great.
Thanks to all of you with your suggestions. I tried everything that was suggested and eventually had to do the "cry it out" method. My daughter was 9 weeks then and although I was against the idea, I really needed to get some sleep and think it was contributing to my post partum depression (see other request). Anyway, we only had to do it one night and it worked. I won't kid you, it was tough. The first time we layed her down she cried for an hour till she fell asleep, but I knew she was dry and was feed and was just crying because she was pissed that we weren't picking her up. After an hour of sleeping, she woke up. I feed her and then put her down again. She cried for another hour till she fell asleep. After that she cried less and less after each feeding (15 minutes, 5 minutes and then no crying). Since then we have started a bedtime routine and she usually goes to bed around 8-8:30. I still hold her till she is asleep and then put her down. Sometimes she wakes up, and I just pat her tummy till she falls asleep. This method isn't what I had wanted to use, but it does work. She has been good for 2 weeks now, even with the adjustment of starting daycare. Thanks again for all your tips.
In order to get some sleep, I would put my son in his swing to sleep sometimes. 2 months is too young to let cry herself to sleep (I think). I also read that you can't "spoil" a baby before they are 3 months old. I was afraid to be starting a bad habit with this, but it seemed to get us through a rough stage of him waking when I put him down. good Luck!!
Kudos to you, D., for not leaving your daughter to cry. Lots of new studies have shown that it is potentially damaging to your little one to leave them to cry.
We had some sleep trouble ourselves, and kellymom.com helped quite a bit. Here's the link:
http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/index.html
also, there is a book called "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" that you could check into.
IMHO, 2 months is WAY too young to learn to self-soothe, and also for any kind of "sleep training." at that age, babies have no concept of "object permanence" so they don't even realize that you are still there when they can't see you. Is there any way that you can take her into the bathroom with you when you shower? A bassinet, swing, or bouncy seat? You can play peek games with the shower curtain or door that way. (peek games will eventually help with the whole object permanence thing, too.)
Hang in there, mama! Things like sleep *do* get better, even though it's hard now.
HTH!
ETA: if you check out a 'babywise book' can i suggest that you also look at 'the baby book' by dr. sears? they seem to be on opposite sides of the sleep issue, and if you take a look at both of them, then you can make a concious informed decision as far as what feels right for you. sorry, i always think folks should look at both sides of any issue before they try to make a decision, and i've heard that the babywise methods don't work for everyone. feel free to pm me and i can send you a link regarding that.
I can't offer much advice that you haven't already tried. My daughter is almost 5 months old & I had a similar problem when she was that age. By accident, I found that she likes to be wrapped with her arms free. Every time I would cover them, she pulled them out. I also have to make sure there is a radio playing, she's burped & full. She's getting better. So, hang in there. There's nothing wrong with sleeping with her. If that gets you both some sleep. In the beginning, we brought the boppy pillow to bed & put it in the middle of us. I didn't sleep as well, but did get some. Also, you were specific about not letting her cry herself to sleep & I agree completely. Yet, people insist on telling to do just that. You do what works for you. I have two kids & neither of them cried themselves to sleep. My son is 4 now & sleeps VERY well on his own. 10-12 hours a night. Good luck.
I feel the reason she wont lie down in her crib is because she knows if you put her down and she cries no matter what you will pick her up. It wont hurt her to lie in her bed and cry a little. lie her down and let her cry it's good for her lungs. Goes in every 5 minutes and just talk to her and try to sooth. she will eventually sleep in her crib also i know doctors say that this is dangerous but its not. when you lie her down try lieing her on her tummy. both of my kids love to sleep like that. and if you think about it if they are on their tummy and throw up it goes on the mattress but if they do it lieing on their back it goes back in their mouth and they choke. I hope you try some of my ideas and i hope they work out for you let me know.
Instead of picking her back up when she cries, maybe you could try getting her back to sleep without picking her up. When my daughter was about that age, I would put her in her crib sleepy, but awake and leave the room. If she started to fuss I would go back in and rub her tummy, make shushing noises and even "rock" her in the crib (by putting one hand on her shoulder and one on her hip and rocking her side to side) until she calmed down. Once she was calm I would leave the room again. I think it helped her learn to fall asleep without being held. Will your daughter sleep in a swing or bouncy seat? I think it is worth trying at least so you can get a shower or a little time to yourself. Good luck!!
I AGREE WITH NICHOLE! She's right on about the lying on the tummy. Let her cry, you will be able to tell the difference of a tired "I want you to hold me cry" & a "I don't want to be in here" scream. My daughter uses these different cries so I can tell what she wants. She is 17 months old now and usually goes to bed with no problem...sometimes she cries & sometimes she screams. If she screams I go in, hold & rock her...usually she goes right back to sleep, then I lay her back down on her tummy. Hope this helps!
My little guy, who is now 17 months, went through a similar period as an infant. When he would become very sleepy but before falling asleep, I would place him in his bed, tell him it was nap time, and would be back to get him when when he awakened. I would leave the room. If he started to cry, I would return, pick him up, let him know I loved him. Then, I would do the same as before. After a while, this worked. Good luck! You certainly do need some time alone!
D.:
I know there are plenty of moms out there who are vehemently opposed to self-soothing and teaching their babies to go to sleep on their own, but I believe it's so important for you and your baby! Well-rested moms are great moms.
You should absolutely rock your baby to sleep at this young age. But if you don't start working to change that pattern in the coming months, she will depend on that for a long time to come. I know people who spend HOURS every day, even at 10-12 months, rocking their babies to sleep...and if that's OK for you, good for you.
We chose to use the feed-wake-sleep method, starting around 2-3 months, where you nurse (a full feeding) and then keep your baby awake for a 20-30 minutes or so, then put her in the crib awake. This way, she learns to put herself to sleep. Easier said than done, of course. When we first tried it, there was crying involved, but we never let her cry for more than 15 minutes. If that was the case, we'd pick her up, wait another 10 minutes and try putting her down again. By 4 months, we established a nice flexible routine around her natural feeding rhythms (easily established with full feedings) and she welcomed her crib and went to sleep immediately.
Now, at almost 9 months, all we have to do is put her in her crib at nap time or bed time and she cuddles up with her little blanky and goes right to sleep. This is not an accident. We made a conscious effort, using the feed-wake-sleep approach consistently. It also helps babies sleep through the night sooner than later (although, since you're nursing, that probably won't happen for some time!).
I know that some people disagree with this, but I can't stress how great it has been for us. All babies are different, but everyone I know that has tried this approach has happy, well-rested babies, including us! And that's so important for their little brain development too. Try it for a few weeks and see if it works. Check out the Babywise book for more details. Good luck...
I, too, have been trying to get my 7 week old son to sleep in the crib at night but for some reason he prefers his vibrating bouncy seat (even when the batteries have died and the vibration isn't going - go figure!). I would put him in the crib and he'd wake up and fuss...I'd move him to the seat on the floor in the room and within minutes he's asleep.
Maybe try a swing or a bouncy chair? It's not ideal and not the crib, but if you're looking to get her to sleep in her own room then that might be a first step? Hey...at least he sleeps!
