Daughter in College-roomate with Lice

Updated on July 15, 2014
H.D. asks from Hialeah, FL
19 answers

I have a 19 year old away in college, her roommate has lice and does nothing about it. The RA said it is a personal problem and there is nothing she can do about it. I want to contact the administration office with a health concern. Should I let her handle this or get involved?

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So What Happened?

Thank you for your input, everything was very helpful! She did go over the RA and went to the health clinic. I told her to say if they did not pay attention to her, that she would contact the local media for help. The very next morning, housekeeping came in and treated the room and sent the roommate with lice to the clinic for treatment. Problem solved.

More Answers

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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

This could turn into a public health problem in the dorm very quickly. Is it confirmed that the roommate has lice and she is unwilling to treat it? Is your daughter reluctant to take her complaint beyond the RA? If she will do it, then she could contact the Director of Health Services on campus - they could direct her if the complaint needs to go elsewhere. At 19, they will not discuss her health issues with you so I don't know if they would accept a complaint from you. You could also call the Director of Student Housing (if they live on campus) and ask that she be moved (if she is willing to be moved) Both of those things could alert the college authorities to do something! Good luck!

7 moms found this helpful
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M.F.

answers from Phoenix on

Let her handle it. Have HER contact administration about the infestation issue that is ongoing and request a new room assignment. Then she'll need to thoroughly wash and inspect her belongings and her hair to make sure she's not also infested.

7 moms found this helpful

D.B.

answers from Boston on

I agree collèges don't want parents involved. But you can brainstorm with your daughter. The RA is not well trained. It's hard to know if that's a problem that extends through the residential life office or whatever they call it. Have your daughter go the Residence Director if there is one, then up the "ladder" to the director of residential services. Simultaneously, she should go to health services to be checked for lice herself; while there she can explain that her roommate has them and is not getting rid of the problem. I would think the RA would be more concerned if she knew how easy this was for HER to contract!

She should also know that lice can be tough to eradicate, so the fact that someone still has them doesn't mean they haven't tried. I can't imagine that the roommate is anything less than truly miserable if this is going on for a while. But assuming your daughter is right and the roommate isn't doing anything, a combination of the Health Services office and the Residence Hall Admin should take action. Otherwise your daughter should ask Residential Life for an immediate reassignment to a new dorm room.

She could also contact the public health department in the town or city where her college is located to get information on what their jurisdiction is and gather any necessary printed info for her visit to Residential Life. Sometimes a threat (real or implied) of a health department investigation is enough to motivate a reticent college administrator.

5 moms found this helpful
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O.O.

answers from Los Angeles on

Let her try. I'd see the housing admin people ASAP if I was in her shoes!

5 moms found this helpful

C.C.

answers from San Francisco on

Ultimately, unless your daughter is sharing clothing or a pillow with her roommate, she's not going to get lice from this other girl. People get so hysterical about this, and I have no idea why. Our girls came down with head lice exactly once, we washed with RID immediately, then again 9 days later as per our pedi's recommendation. We did nothing else other than wash the bed sheets, and the lice were totally eradicated and never returned. So there's that.

If it really bothers her this much, have her go to the dean of housing (or whoever else is in charge of the dorm situation). She could ask to be moved into a different dorm somewhere else on campus.

5 moms found this helpful
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M.P.

answers from Raleigh on

My college roommate had scabies on her arms and it spread to her back and legs- we still don't know how she got it. I had to help her put medication on her back- a spot she couldn't reach. I chose to help instead of run screaming. If I had of decided I couldn't handle it, I would have asked my RA to help me with find other living arrangements. If it bothers your daughter, she can handle it on her own. The college makes other living arrangements for students all the time, so it can be done.

4 moms found this helpful

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

She's an adult, she can and should handle it herself.

4 moms found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

If the RA will do nothing, she needs to go up the chain. In my college dorm it was the Residence Life Coordinator. They do not want lice spreading in the dorms. If they can't make the girl do something about it, your daughter can request a change of rooms/roommates. I would have your daughter try first, but there's no reason you can't, especially if you're paying for it.

4 moms found this helpful
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K.B.

answers from Chicago on

College roomates............the good old days! If your daughter is certain that the roomate has lice, then I would go over the head of the RA to the dormitory director for intervention, but I don't think you should get involved. Give your daughter the opportunity to navigate this issue and develop her problem solving skills. The roomate likely feels lice isn't a big issue.

3 moms found this helpful
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M.P.

answers from Portland on

I'd let her handle it. I'd offer to help. If she wants suggestions I'd suggest she talk with someone in the student health clinic. When I lived in the dorm many years ago there were resident assistants and they were assistants to the resident "mother" maybe called a resident manager now.

Lice is a community health condition that puts more than your daughter at risk. I would encourage my daughter to follow through on reporting it.

3 moms found this helpful
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Z.B.

answers from Toledo on

I agree that you should let her handle this. It's my understanding that most people at colleges treat the students as adults (regardless of who's paying) and expect the students to take care of these things. I'm not sure you would get a very good response if you called the school yourself. She needs to do this.

That being said, it's probably very overwhelming for her. The best way you can help is to listen and to help her figure out her next step. If the RA doesn't have the ability to do anything, help her figure out who's next.

I can remember two times my freshmen year when I learns how little power my RA had. The first was when a student had sent her very loud alarm clock for 5 am before leaving for the weekend. Her alarm took 2 hours to shut off, and the RA said she could not go into the girl's room to turn it off. The second time was when rumors of pubic lice were going around. This time she did have a floor meeting to let us all know that there were rumors and to consider checking ourselves to see if we had it. Nothing more she could do.

2 moms found this helpful

C.V.

answers from Columbia on

An RA is just a student with a title. I suggest going with Susan's plan. Have your daughter go above the RA's head to someone who will take action.

If they refuse, as a parent I would call and let them know that inaction would result in a NON-anonymous contact to all press organizations in the area. Give them 48 hours to have the issue resolved. Bad press will absolutely get them moving.

2 moms found this helpful
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C.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

How exactly is an insect that lives off of human blood not a big deal (to some previous posters). Of course it is a big deal and of course they can spread to others. If your daughters roommate falls asleep on the couch and one falls off and your daughter sits on that couch, that sucker is going for it and will move along to your daughter.

I would help your daughter with who to contact and encourage her, so that she learns how to fight for what is right.

2 moms found this helpful
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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Is your daughter sharing her bed? Sharing clothing? Closet space? Using her hair brush? Coats hanging side by side touching? Do they share towels? Does the dorm have a joint shower with general towels like a gym? Where you use them then put them in a bin to go to a central laundry? If that's the way they do it then the RA has to do something.

By the way, how, exactly, does she know her room mate has head lice? I have an itchy scalp. My mom had one too. I can itch and itch and itch until I draw blood. I am using Dove shampoo and conditioner now and it's very nearly itch free. But there have been times I'd be clawing my head and not even realize I was doing it.

Then there is little chance of your daughter getting it. You do understand that lice are very slow moving sedentary critters right? They don't jump, the don't fly, they don't do much except lay eggs and die in a few weeks.

At least this means the room mate is a clean person, lice do not live on dirty people, they can't lay their eggs in dirty hair...

Now if she's filthy and has them in her nether region it's body lice and not head lice...that's a totally different issue, sharing a toilet.

So again, how is she so sure the girl has lice?

I'd say to fix the issue and make it where she won't get them she needs to get a small, 6 or 8 ounce spray bottle. Put some water in it then add a few drops of Tea Tree Oil in it. Shake it well then mist her hair each morning to dampen it for styling. This serves 2 purposes. The lice don't like the smell of the oil and they will not get on her hair. It also makes the hair have a thin coating of oil on it so they won't get on it because they can't grasp it or lay their eggs onto the shaft.

Don't make her hair oily but just a super thin spritz on it.

I really would talk to the person in charge of room assignment and request a different room. I'd ask an attorney if this would be grounds for any sort of lawsuit should you choose to stop paying her housing costs unless they move her.

If they get along I would see no reason for her to move.

People get so worked up over head lice. It's not an air borne illness and it takes a lot of close long term physical contact for them to crawl from one person's hair to the other person's hair. They have to be on a garment she's sharing, in a hair brush, laying on her pillow or in her sheets, etc...for them to get on her.

headlice.org has good honest down to earth information.

2 moms found this helpful
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B.Z.

answers from Minneapolis on

Yuck! I can't imagine that the college doesn't have a procedure in place for things like this. It cannot be the first time a kid has had lice in college and I would think they would want to have it handled quickly. I would guess that your daughter maybe is telling you that the RA said it's a personal problem but she really didn't tell anyone about it. If she really has told the RA and they didn't do anything she needs to go higher up. She should go to the housing office and tell them and see what advice they have. Yes, it should be her, not you! It is hard to sit back but you can only give the advice, your daughter will choose whether to follow it or not.

1 mom found this helpful

S.A.

answers from Chicago on

Give your daughter instructions to contact the administration and demand something be done. She needs to be persistent. She has a right to live in a dorm room without lice. And if they won't respond to her, then I think you can get involved. You're probably paying the tuition, correct?

1 mom found this helpful
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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

Your daughter should go to the RD. Your daughter's reasonable expectations to be lice-free should not be ignored. The RA is not doing her job if she is ignoring that there is someone in the dorm not treating herself for lice, and potentially carrying lice all over the building. This is not just about the roommate but anyone who also shares any common areas (couches, chairs, bathrooms). If your daughter also gets the brush off from the RD, she should go to Res Life. She can also go to the campus health center to talk to them about it.

But I think that SHE should do it, as she is the one living with it and supposedly adult enough to handle her own business. I would not contact the school just yet. I would wait for her to handle it.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

This is totally unacceptable. You should not be paying about $10,000 a year room and board for your daughter to live in a lice infested room with a roommate who does nothing about it. I would be on the phone contacting every administrator until I found someone who could move my daughter.
Your daughter should be trying to be moved too.

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

Are you helping your daughter through college? Even buying a candy bar or sent her some new sheets? You have a right in my opinion to contact administration.

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